


Our Worlds as One

by orphan_account



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Adjusting to new country, Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Freewood - Freeform, Gavin and Ryan in love, High School AU, M/M, Major Sexual Content, Male Homosexuality, Mention of rape but it doesn't happen in the story., Mentions of other couples but it's ALL ABOUT THE FREEWOOD, achievement hunter - Freeform, roosterteeth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-05
Updated: 2014-08-06
Packaged: 2018-02-07 10:08:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 17
Words: 41,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1895067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Gavin Free and his lifelong friend Dan Gruchy move to North America with their families, Gavin finds himself in a strange new high school in Austin, Texas. Gavin's life in Great Britain has done all but prepare him for a new lifestyle and education system. Luckily he and Dan meet a group of teens who attend their new school... Achievement High. One member of the group, junior Ryan Haywood, stands out to Gavin.The young brit is shy and reserved at first, contrary to his loud and jovial personality. But as Ryan shows him this new world he opens up more and more...in multiple ways than one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Entering: Gav and Dan

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hey hey guys. This is the first fanfic I've written on this site, so bare with me. Some feedback is appreciated, but keep it friendly! No need for rude criticism.

Gavin felt tapping on his shoulder as he began to rise from his slumber. He looked to the window to see that the ground was becoming visible, and then over into the brown eyes of his dear friend.  
"Gav...we're here! It's America." Dan exclaimed.  
"Mmm, I see. Oh this'll be TOP! I wonder what our new school will be like, what do you suppose Texas is like?"  
"I've heard it's lovely," Answered his friend. "we'll know for sure when we actually get there."

The two friends walked down the stairs of the airplane and into the airport. Due to some complications, the two families had to wait an hour or so before their taxis and moving trucks arrived to get them and their luggage, so Gavin and Dan decided to roam around this new land. They saw nothing in this airport that they'd never seen in a British on, but just knowing that this was a different country's terminals and airplane hangars caused the two high schoolers to act like children in a new you store. They would look around inspecting everything, shaking the other's shoulder to get his attention, and then pointing at something. They would look at each other to look at the other's reactions. After awhile they came to a stop at a fast food area in the enormous airport.  
They quickly weaved through the crowded cafe to the only empty table still remaining, maneuvering to make sure they didn't bump into anyone and spill their food.  
"A toast to a new world." Gavin shouted before taking a swig of his soda.

Gavin and Dan conversed about what they thought their high school would be like, and although it had only been a few days ago, reminisced about their last few days in Great Britain. Sometime later they were interrupted by a male voice.  
"Hey guys, mind if I sit? There aren't too many open sits around."  
"Oh yeah by all means make yourself comfortable." Dan replied eagerly. "May I ask your name?"  
"Geoff. Geoff Ramsey, nice to meet you guys. And you two are..?"  
"Name's Dan Gruchy, and this is my sausage of a friend, Gavin Free." He gestured towards the dirty blonde haired brit and he held his hand out to shake Geoff's.  
"Hallo there."  
"Nice accents. You new here?"  
"We actually just got here, we're just waiting for the taxis and moving trucks now. It'll be bloody hours."  
The three boys continued to talk, finding out they'd be all attending Achievement High, and that Gavin and Geoff shared a common love for Minecraft and Grand Theft Auto. Geoff explained to them that he and his friends had just came from a gaming convention in LA and offered to introduce them to the group. Geoff led the two younger teens to a nearby arcade in the airport and called out to his friends.  
"Hey dickweeds, come meet our newcomers."  
He beckoned towards Gavin and Dan and the 4 boys walked towards them, giving their various greetings.  
"Dan and Gavin...I would like you to meet Michael, Ray, Jack, and Ryan." Gavin looked over the four males trying to guess their personality based on their appearances.

Michael was a pale young gentleman with brown hair as curly as a pig's tail. The bespectacled boy wore a half annoyed half nonchalant look on his square face, which Gavin guessed was his standard look.  
Ray was one of the darkest featured people in the group, a Puerto Rican who came to America when he was 6. He had a small frame and fairly short stature, standing at about 5'9''. He had glasses like Michael, but had a much more pleasant expression on his face.  
Jack looked too mature for his 17 years of age. He had a full beard and stood at a decent height. The glasses wearing redhead, probably the most normal of the group, was also the most composed and was more mature than Geoff, the oldest of the boys.

Yet the one who really caught Gavin's attention was the handsome Ryan Haywood. A tall broad shouldered junior with toned arms and calm sapphire blue eyes. His Brownish blonde hair was in waves brushed backwards and to top it all off he had a deep booming voice. Gavin could tell that he was overall a tranquil and kind spirit. Maybe there was something else hiding behind those blue eyes, but the British youth couldn't put his finger on it. All he knew was that Ryan was a gorgeous young man, far beyond handsome. And he smirked at the thought that this new life in America would be absolutely top.


	2. Soggy Bread and Locker Rooms?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ryan and Gavin realized their hands were still linked. The two boys cleared their throats and turned away from each other, not wanting the other to see their reddening face..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next installment guys! Things get slightly heated, I'm trying to build it up to the climax. Build it up not to fast, but not too slow so it's boring.

**It** had been two weeks now, and as he stood in line for lunch, Gavin thought about how strange America was for him, every day seemed like the first time he'd been there. He lowered his head sighing, wondering if this was a normal thing for people who've moved to a new country. He progressed through the line picking up a drink a few snacks and a sandwich, so engrossed in his thoughts he did so robot like. He searched around the huge cafeteria until he heard Geoff call and beckon him towards a table, smiling at the sight of his friends all gathering for lunch.

As he approached the table he went towards the seat between Geoff and Jack, but before Gavin could be seated Geoff quickly and unceremoniously scooted to the left next to Jack, forcing the young Brit to seat between Geoff and Ryan instead. Gavin looked over to his tattooed friend quizzically looking for answers, but he didn't even looked over to him, looking forward with his usual nonchalant lazy expression, fighting back a grin. The whole gang was here, everyone had just settled when Gavin looked more closely at his lunch and grimaced. "Bloody heck! Uurghk!" Gavin gagged and launched out of his seat to race out of the cafeteria. It was so sudden everyone's reaction was delayed. "Damn what's his deal?" Miles asked suddenly as he stared at the now empty spot in from of him. "He doesn't..." Geoff managed to get out between bouts of laughter."He doesn't like soggy bread. Shit makes his stomach go insane." He broke out into more laughter as he pointed to Gavin's cold sandwich, which had gotten a bit wet from being wrapped in plastic effected by condensation. Ryan, a bit concerned interjected, "Is he going to be okay?" Geoff Scoffed, "What's it matter? He'll be fine as dicks just you wait." "I don't know.. I mean it he must REALLY not like it. Maybe I should..." Ryan's sentence suddenly trailed off as he rose from his chair jogging towards the nearest bathroom outside the cafeteria. The rest of the gang going back to their lunch.

Gavin retched into the toilet one last time and just leaned against the stall calming himself down, hating himself briefly for putting on such a show for his friends over wet bread. He just couldn't stand it, the consistency of it and look of it. And the sound, oh good Jesus the _SOUND_ it made as it squished onto a surface. Good Jesus... "Gavin? It's just Ryan, just checkin on ya." Gavin stifled a gasp and covered his mouth, trying to keep himself as quiet as possible. "Gavin? Will you come out please? I mean, I could just open every door until I find you or..." Gavin knew Ryan was too wise to believe he wasn't in there if he stayed quiet long enough. He emerged from the stall and was surprised as a handkerchief was shoved towards him. He looked up to meet two blue eyes, calm and kindred as ever. The owner of those blue eyes raised an eyebrow at Gavin, urging him to take it. "C-cheers, Ryan." Gavin wiped his mouth and face a bit then returned the handkerchief. "Don't mention it. Seriously...what would the school think if they knew The Mad King helped people?" "I umm...I don't know-" "I _mean_ it Gavin." Ryan cornered Gavin in the bathroom, taking advantage of his large frame and big arms to create a small prison for Gavin. Gavin's back was to the very corner of the bathroom with Ryan's muscular arms on either side of his head. Gavin whimpered a bit as the "Mad King" stared deep into his dark green eyes, with a look that would strike fear into anyone. Gavin got the message that he really meant it. Ryan started to lower his face towards the smaller boy's before quickly retracted back and laughing. He released his captive and gave him a reassuring smile, showing that he was purely joking. Gavin returned a sheepish smile and could only stand there as Ryan exited the bathroom on account of the bell for lunch to end ringing. He could feel his face burn and turn crimson thinking about what had just happened; a handsome junior who was just as much of an athlete as he was a nerdy gamer notorious around the school flirting with the new sophomore from Britain.

 _'Flirting?'_ Gavin throughout to himself. _'Ha! Flirting?! Someone like him showing interest in a mong like me? Not possible, even in fairytales. He barely even did anything, just helpin me out a lit'le. Besides, he was known as being a friendly jokester'_ Gavin did wish it were possible, for he had grown rather fond of Ryan, but he barely knew him. They hung out in the same circle of friends, but the two rarely exchanged words. Gavin couldn't find out why though, he was the most jovial, loud, and outgoing person in the group; yet he acted like a recluse in front of Ryan?! Gavin sighed to himself and left the bathroom to make it to his next period on time. _'He was just being friendly.'_ Gavin convinced himself. Only friendly...

* * *

 

 **Gavin** couldn't remember what had compelled him to join the advance physical education class at Achievement High. Maybe it was because his friends Michael, Kerry, and Ryan took the class. Or maybe it was to impress Ryan even though his physical abilities were low. Or maybe it was to admire Ryan's athletic skills and ogle at his fit body. Gavin sneaked into the gym and quickly got dressed out to join the rest of the class on the bleachers.

"Hi Gavin, how nice of you to join us." Kerry said with exaggerated glee. "Now is it true that you don't like soggy bread?"

"Oh gavvy," Micheal chimed in. "It's okay the big bad bread won't hurt you no mo'."

"Haha so funny you mongy pricks, ya lame idiots." Gavin stuck out his tongue at the teasing duo which earned him a laugh from Ryan. Their fun, however, was interrupted by a loud whistle.

"Okay gentlemen!" Today will be a test..of FITNESS. Today you all will do various things so I can see where you stand on the athletic scale. And guess what? You get to do it with one partner, no getting intimidated by multiple classmates. The best part? You can suck and still get a good grade. The class erupted into small laughter at Couch Burns' little joke at the end. Coach Burns was a gym coach for two periods and a drama teacher for the the remaining five. He also owned a small franchise called Rooster Teeth, where being a good actor is one of many useful skills to have there. "Now gentlemen...any volunteers to go first?" The laughing suddenly stopped and the only sound heard was the wind. The obstacle course, although probably not that hard for the athletic kids, looked intimidating, and no one really wanted to go first. No one except...

"Right here Coach." Ryan laced his fingers with Gavin's and raised their hands to volunteer them.

"James Haywood..."

"Ryan."

"Sorry. _Ryan_ Haywood, lovely of you to volunteer, you all better take away something from this, this example of bravery."

"I just want to get it over with." Ryan said humbly as he turned to wink at Gavin, still holding his hand, which earned them mock gagging sounds from Kerry and Michael. Gavin gulped as he eyed the obstacle course, he knew it would be a breeze for Ryan, but he worried if he would be able to keep up.

"Now let's begin! Climb the wooden wall, through the monkey bars, through the tires, swing across the mud pit with the rope and finally run the 1/2 mile trail leading back to here. Your time begins...NOW!"

Ryan's blue eyes lit up at the sound of the whistle. Before Gavin could really comprehend the whistle's sound he felt his body lifted from the ground and found himself being cradled by The Mad King. Ryan sprinted towards the wall and pounced onto it and threw Gavin then himself over it, he had the same amount of ease with every obstacle, even with Gavin clinging to his back with his slender legs wrapped around Ryan's hips like a baby Koala. Ryan showed no signs of tiredness until the 1/2 mile, the only part Gavin did by himself, and remarkably kept up with Ryan. And the class watched them in awe through it all, though some threw some playful disgusted expressions at them. As the class clapped for them Ryan grabbed Gavin's hand and they both bowed, though the slender Brit didn't feel he deserved the applause. He looked up at his older friend who turned to him and smiled. Gavin returned the smile and turned away as he felt his tan cheeks turn red.

"Well...w-wel-..wha?" Gavin stammered out.

Michael gave him a weird look "What Gavin? You're in America now you have to speak _OUR_ form of English. Now start over."

"W-well done Ryan." He smiled again weakly at the tall blue eyed junior, wishing he'd been able to think of a better compliment. It wasn't until this point that Ryan and Gavin realized their hands were still linked. The two boys cleared their throats and turned away from each other, not wanting the other to see their reddening face.

Gavin was always the last one in the locker room as he always monged around and chatted with coach Burns before he dressed into his normal clothes. He was so sure that he was the ONLY one in there that he hadn't bothered to cover himself, unfortunately he wasn't the only one who thought this today. As Gavin rounded a corner to go to his locker he frozen and his eyes widen in shock at the blue eyed giant standing on the other side of the corner. Ryan's face grew an expression of absolute horror at the sight of seeing the naked Brit, but was it just horror he felt he wondered to himself. The horror started to dispel itself as he started to take in every features on Gavin's tall slender body. His broad shoulders faded into a narrow waist and hips, and a slightly toned tummy. Ryan observed his long tanned legs and even his feet, then trailing back up to admire the appendage between the brit's legs.

 _'Jesus...is he.. is he studying me?!'_ Gavin thought, his initial reaction was one of uneasiness, but then he thought a little more and realized that's be hypocritical if Ryan really was admiring his body, because the British boy was doing the same thing to him. He eyed Ryan's biceps and then looked at his chest, trailing down a bit farther to admire his ab muscles and the V shape that form lower down on his hips. Gavin however didn't bother to look at the guy's legs, he was primarily focused on the thing between them. _'Bloody he...i-it's HUGE!'_ The Brit thought to himself as he eyed it. _'It isn't even at full attention but it's so...'_ Gavin let out a surprise squawk and retreated back around the corner, sinking to his knees and covering his face, so humiliated. This ordeal that felt like an eternity really only lasted about 45 seconds. Gavin sat sulking, feeling so foolish and dirty for ogling his friend-his MALE friend in such a way. He just wanted the memory to fade, he was scared to face Ryan ever again. But he was forced to when he felt a hand on his should and heard Ryan begin to speak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Warning*** Smut means sexual content, as the tags may suggests. It may appear in Chapter 3, but I'm not sure at the moment. Just be ready, prepare your butt holes.


	3. Go Cakeless, Vav!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Ryan took the hand of the lad and caressed it, ever so lovingly. "...I am always willing to help you."'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is going to introduce a new ship, and touch on another, and some stronger interactions between Ryan and Gavin.

" **Agh** you saw his _wiener?_ " Ray blinked his eyes in surprise, making sure he fully understood Gavin's story.

"I didn't mean to!" Gavin squawked. "It was an accident! I thought I was alone in the locker room, and I wasn't! And then I retreated back around the corner and he comes around the corner to me!"  
  
"Why? Did he kick your ass for looking at his dick?"  
  
"No you dopey git.. Quite the opposite. He sat next to me on the floor and apologized. But when I asked what he was apologizing for, he simply replied, 'For being so open.'"  
  
"What's that mean?"  
  
"I don't bloody know it could mean several things, oh X-ray I don't wanna think about it anymore." Gavin belly flopped onto ray's bed and screamed into his pillow.   
  
"Did I hear someone say something about Mad King Ryan?" Ray got up from his chair to hug his boyfriend, Joel Heyman, just returning from the kitchen.  
  
"Yeah Gav saw his dick."  
  
"Nice! You're becoming a man, Gavino Free! High five meh!" Joel held his palm out to Gavin, pulling it back when Gavin started his childish whining again.  
  
"But that's not how I'm supposed to become a man, Joel! I'm meant to score with some lovely lady that I fall in love with, and THEN become a man." Gavin said half joking half serious.  
  
"There's nothing wrong with being gay man." Ray said as he plopped down into Joel's lap. "You'll love it it's great."  
  
"Bullocks...Bullocking heck. Guys, I have to ask you a serious question. When you see each other, how does it feel?"  
  
"When I see Ray, I feel like all is well, that there are no imperfections in the world. My heart beats a bit faster, and I feel a rush, like the roaring currents of a river. I see him as the manifestation of beauty, and I never have doubt that he's 'the one.'" Joel finished his sentiment and turned to Ray, grinning as he received a kiss on the forehead from the little Puerto Rican.  
  
"You never had doubts? Are you sure?"   
  
"Well," Ray interjected. "You have mixed feelings when you first develop a gay crush, not doubts always, but confusion at the least. I was that way when I first met Joel, but deep down the love was always there. Although I had to break out of my shell, caused by the fear of what others would think. But once I broke through, I felt at peace."  
  
Gavin sighed, an idea suddenly popped into his head. "Cheers guys, so do you suppose I should make Ryan a cake?"  
  
Ray scoffed in disgust. "Dammit Vav why don't you just give him a pile of shit, it's just as good. No, it's better."  
  
"Ray no...It's a cute idea Gavin. He would appreciate the gesture, no matter how mad and kingly he is. As long as the cake tastes good anyway."  
  
"Do you really think so?" Gavin smiled widely. "Cheers Joel I'm gonna go start now, I'll be on my way, see you tomorrow guys."  
  
"No Vav! Listen to your X-ray...Go cakeless, cake is evil. Aw he's gone now. Bitch."  
  
"Let Gavin do this how he wants, poor thing doesn't even understand his feelings, you used to be like that Ray."  
  
Ray sighed in defeat and leaned against Joel, closing his eyes and relaxing.   
  
Gavin knocked on Geoff's front door, which was answered by his mother, she beckoned him towards upstairs, telling him Geoff was upstairs. He thanked her and went forwards his room.  
  
Gavin only knew a few females he was willing to ask about baking for another guy. He couldn't ask his mum, he didn't want her getting the wrong idea. He had plenty of female friends, but who would be better than his best friend's girlfriend Griffon? He knocked on Geoff's bedroom only to be greeted by Griffon and invited inside. 

* * *

**Gavin** kissed his mom goodbye and exited the car, holding the cake for Ryan in a plastic container shaped especially for it. He knew Ryan was usually in the cafeteria before first period where he would play Minecraft on his laptop.   
  
Gavin walked into the cafeteria, watching Ryan at the very back corner across from where he stood. Gavin shuffled through his mind, thinking of how he'd go about giving Ryan the cake. Maybe he would just set it down next to him and leave, or sit with Ryan and present the cake with a smile. He decided on the second one, remembering what Griffon told him: Worse case scenario he thinks it's a strange gesture, because regardless of the circumstances who would deny cake? Gavin spoke to himself as he walked across the enormous cafeteria.  
  
"It'll be okay, Gavel. Everything will go alright. Don't bollocks it up." He finally reached the table after taking small inching steps. He set the cake on the table and sat down. Ryan took off his headphones and turned to face the younger boy.  
  
"Gavin?"  
  
"Umm, hallo Ry. I-i made you a cake." Gavin put on the biggest smile he thought necessary for now. He scooted the cake towards him. "Y-you don't have to take, if you don't want it that's okay ."  
  
"Oh look at this. Gavin 'Clumsy' Free made a perfect cake for me. Is it really for me?"  
  
"Of course you silly little jeb piece. Why else would I bring it to you? But I'm too clumsy to make one on my own, had a lil' help fr-"  
  
"It's chocolate!" Ryan's eyes lit up like a child with a new toy as he stuffed his mouth with a slice. "And the frosting is black and white patches to match a cow's coat. Gavin... Seriously, I'm grateful you made this for me. Thank you."   
Ryan grinned at him, showing his perfect white teeth and cute dimples. Gavin could feel the blush creeping into his cheeks, but he didn't care, he continued to look at Ryan. He cherished this moment, he cherished Ryan's smile, he cherished his thanks, and soon found himself cherishing every memory he has of Ryan. Gavin smiled goofily at him, grateful for this moment, no matter how short it may be.  
  
"But if I may ask, what compelled you to do this?"  
  
"I uh...it's a custom where I come from," the Brit lied. "It's a way to um- say ' _Thanks for helping me get through a obstacle course in gym class._ '" Gavin looked down and blushed even more, giggling at the stupid excuse he came up with on the spot.  
  
"Oh. Well you're welcome, it was nothin' really but...," Ryan took the hand of the lad and caressed it, ever so lovingly. "...I am always willing to help you."  
  
"Ryan." Gavin felt his arm move almost on its own and his hand clasp Ryan's, who placed his second hand on top of that. " _Ryanhaveyoueverthoughtofme_?" The lad asked so quickly it was incomprehensible.   
  
"What?"   
  
"Have you, Ryan Haywood, ever thought of me.?"  
  
Ryan raised his eyebrow quizzically and smirked. "Why wouldn't I? We're friends aren't we?"  
  
"Yeah but how is it that you feel, whenever you do?"   
  
"I laugh sometimes." Ryan's questioning smirk contorted into a playful one.   
  
"Laugh? Why laugh?"  
  
"I laugh at the memory of first meeting you, when I heard your accent for the first time. I laugh at the memory of your face when I cornered you in the bathroom that one day, when you thought I was being serious. I laugh at the memory of you being nervous when I volunteered us in gym class, and how you clung to me for dear life. I even laugh at the memory of us catching each other in the nude. And I laugh at every memory I have of those weird squawking noises you do. Does that answer your question?"  
  
"Interesting...quite interesting. Yeah it answers my question you sausage."  
  
"Sausage? And just what type of sausage we talkin' here?"  
  
"Penises."   
  
Gavin gasped and jumped at the sudden new voice who had joined them. "Ray! What're you doing you cheeky little knob?"  
  
Ryan looked up at Ray and laughed. "Well, I have one."  
  
"There's a fanfic for ya Gav, Ryan has a dick." The small lad busted out into laughter before moving closer to inspect the cake. "I see you didn't go cakeless. What a loser." X-Ray walked away abruptly before he could be questioned, winking at his dear Vav.  
  
"Cakeless? What does that-"  
  
"Ehhh don't worry about it. Let's worry about what you said earlier, about my accent and squawks...why do you laugh at them Ryan?"  
  
"Because they're cute." Ryan winked at the Brit and began to rise from his seat to goto first period, bringing the cake with him.   
  
"Oh also, wanna eat cake with me at lunch? We could eat out in the courtyard so the others don't get jealous."   
  
"Oh yeah, sure. That'd be top."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought there was some cuteness in this Chapter, how'd you guys like it? This is a bit of a filler I suppose, that transitions into a chapter full of more action.


	4. Let me feed you, Ryan!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "R-ryan." Gavin squeaked out. "What are you doing..? Ryan?"  
> "Shh shh shh.. I'm just gonna..." Gavin tried to speak but fell speechless when Ryan's fingers lightly glided over Gavin's....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goodness things are heating up a bit, I hope you guys brought your fans!!

**Ryan** took the knife and cut a piece of the cake for Gavin, then one for himself.   
  
"Hey Gav?"

"Yeah Ryan?"

"Here." Ryan held the cake to Gavin's lips. The younger boy giggled and opened his mouth then bit down as Ryan shoved the corner of the piece forward. He and Ryan repeated that until Ryan's hands were empty.  
  
"Okay Ry, now it's your turn." Ryan turned his head away and waved Gavin's hand away.

"Now Gavin, I'm a junior, I don't need a sophomore to feed me. You see you're like a small child, you need help with eating." Ryan began to laugh as he wiped frosting from Gavin's mouth with his thumb and licked it off.

"Ryyaaan! That's not fair I let you feed me, I didn't need it. I let you because I-" Gavin suddenly shut his mouth.  _Why did I let you feed me, Ryan?_ The brit wondered. It sort of just happened, and he didn't bother to oppose it, why he didn't? He wasn't sure.  
  
Ryan raised an eyebrow. "'Because I-...?'"   
  
"Oh never mind, just hold still you lil git!"   
Gavin struggled to get the piece of cake to Ryan's mouth while using only one hand to try and block two of Ryan's. To get higher ground over the taller boy he got up on his knees, somehow squirming in such a way he ended up straddling Ryan's lap and toppling him over.   
  
"Ahhhh Dammit Ryan, Bollocking Bollocks." Gavin looked sadly at the dropped piece of cake rolling down the grassy slope they were seated on. Gavin was so concentrated on the cake slice he hadn't noticed where he was. He looked down to see Ryan sprawled on the grass underneath him. He suddenly felt embarrassment as he found himself looking over Ryan's face. He thought of how sexy Ryan looked with his curly brown hair pooled on the ground behind him. His eyes looked bluer than ever under the bright sun. Gavin admired his milky pale face, soaking in every feature and the light stubble on his cheeks. It was absolutely with no doubt the most gorgeous face Gavin ever looked at, he never wanted to stopped looking at it.  
  
"Oh, pardon me-" Gavin started to prop himself up on his elbow to get up, stammering apologizes and curses.  
  
"No, Gavin." Ryan gently grabbed Gavin around his waist, pulling him down, so that their faces were a mere inches away. Ryan reached up to rake his fingers through Gavin's brownish golden hair, soaking in every wave and messy strand. He let his hands wander, he wanted to feel ever inch, he wanted to memorize every detail of Gavin's face, and he just wanted to feel the essence of Gavin. He gently glided his fingers over Gavin's cheeks, stroking them lightly before pressing his large nose playfully against his nose, in an Eskimo kiss like way.  
  
"R-ryan." Gavin squeaked out. "What are you doing..? Ryan?"  
  
"Shh shh shh.. I'm just gonna..." Gavin tried to speak but was silenced when Ryan's fingers lightly glided over Gavin's pink lips. Gavin felt a moan escape his lips when Ryan hooked his large thumb into Gavin's mouth, the lad tasted remnants of the cake frosting and began to suck on it gently. Ryan pulled his finger out and began to sit up, Gavin whimpered at the empty feeling returning to his mouth. So Gavin was pretty much sitting in his lap facing the older gent.   
  
"Ryan...what was that?"  
  
"Feeling your face and putting my thumb in your mouth, what did it look like?"   
  
"I know what it was you mong, I mean why did you do it?"  
  
"Well I guess it was because I-" Before Ryan could complete his sentence, the bell for lunch to end rung. The two friends stood up, Ryan picking up the cake with him. They looked around the courtyard to find that they'd been the only ones out their.   
  
They didn't have Gym class today so they parted ways to go to their different classes, promising to meet up at Ryan's car after school. 

* * *

  **Gavin** sat in his chemistry class staring off into space, he couldn't believe that just 10 minutes ago he was sitting outside eating lunch with Ryan Haywood, sat in his lap, had his face caressed by the junior, and had his finger in his mouth. His attention was drawn back to the task at hand when he felt a wrench jab him.

"What the hell Monty you weird prick!? That hurts you know!"

"Too bad! Why don't you pay attention then? You know, Dan and I can't do this project alone. You're the only one who can work the high speed Phantom Flex."

"Aw yeah...so what did we decide our project would be about?"

"Well," Dan unfolded a chart with childlike doodles, which seemed to depict three stick figures progressing through an experiment of sorts. "While you were starin' off into space, Monty and I decided out project would be a double whammy! We'll use these red wires to create elaborate circuitry which will ultimately cause a watermelon to explode."

"And the other part of the project," Monty pointed out. "is to have another watermelon sat across from the exploding one with a pig eyes stuck to it. This watermelon will be wearing a pair of goggles, and we'll see how well the goggle will protect the eyes." 

"Oh lovely, it's a top idea. Now let's discuss it shall we?" Gavin turned towards his two partners, looking over the room to see the other groups working on their projects as well.

"No, let's not do that quite yet," Dan scooted towards his fellow brit. "Let's discuss...you and Ryan Haywood in the courtyard."

Monty gave an exaggerated gasp. "Yes Gavin tell us about that."

"You saw us?! Dan you little knob, how? W-we all alone out there."

"You dope I can see you through the glass doors if I walk up to them. Ray and I were going to eat our lunch out in the courtyard, but we saw you and Ryan out there so we gave you two...your privacy."

"I-it wasn't what it looked like I just fell and then Ryan just started to-"

"Woooah slow down there Gav. What're you talking about dude? We left like 5 seconds after we noticed you guys out there."

Gavin's body relaxed, placing a hand on his chest as he exhaled. "Oh, well never mind then."

"But wait," Monty suddenly in Gavin's face."Finish your little story, Ryan just started to what?"

"Ugh nothin. Bloody heck guys can we just start the project?' Gavin began looking at the blueprints, frowning as he tried to block out Monty and Dan's laughter. This class couldn't have ended quicker for Gavin, sprinting out the door at the sound of the bell. Gavin stopped when he approached the school's main doors, his way to freedom, but as he walked out he felt a hand on his shoulder and spun around to see his dear friend Dan. Before he could open his mouth to tell Dan to keep quiet about Ryan, Dan put his finger to Gavin's mouth to shush him and began to speak.

"Now Gavin... I'm not gonna tease you about Haywood anymore, at least not a lot," The brit chuckled. "but I want to be here for you, Gav, so text me later when you're done with your date and shag session with Ryan."

"W-what?! How did you know I was going to  _hangout_ with Ryan?"

"As quickly as you ran out of the class like a lil' gite? Please, I figured there was no other reason you would want to leave so fast. But SERIOUSLY I'm lookin' out for ya, please, talk to me about this stuff, want to admit it or not you shouldn't be bottling your feelings up, that's why we're friends. No have fun  _hanging out_ tonight." Dan patted his friend on the back before walking back into the school for ROTC drill practice. Gavin sighed giving a lazy smile. He and his friend fucked with each other a lot and poked fun all the time, but the two friends had known each other practically since birth, and they cared for each other, so Gavin was grateful for his friend. 

* * *

 **As** Gavin waited for Ryan in the parking lot, he thought about all the potential reasons Ryan could have for doing what he did. He wanted to stick to logic with this, so he reassured himself of a few things.: The first one being although they were in the same circle of friends, he and Ryan as individuals were not that close of friends.   
  
Second, Ryan had another circle of friends, the jocks, because Ryan was on the football team where he'd gotten his nickname "The Mad King". He was a star athlete. Back in Britain people were generally kind towards one another, with the exception of some arseholes here and there. In America, Gavin noticed, rude mongy teens were more plentiful. And he'd learned enough about the Jocks to know that since Ryan hung with them, Ryan could very well be some flirt that's even willing to play with a male'a emotions to break their heart or toy with them. Ryan was not a bully like the other Jocks though, at least not as far as Gavin knew, but he couldn't put being a heart breaker past him just yet.  
  
However, Ryan was always so darling towards everyone, including Gavin. In spite of his nickname he's never hurt a fly. Ryan always helped him, like the time with the soggy bread and the various times that Gavin had trouble getting around town, Ryan would give Gavin's parents instructions to get certain places.   
  
There was too much information supporting both sides, was Ryan the overly flirty jock or the nerdy lover? Gavin could not tell. He didn't even know why he cared so much about it, why he wanted to know how Ryan handled his romantic life. Gavin looked up to see the tall sandy blonde gent walking towards him.  
  
"Ready to go Gav?"

"Um sure, where exactly are we going?"

"Oh just a place, you'll love it. I want to show you that America has cool stuff too. Then, we're going to a restaurant with American cuisine."

"Oh, lovely, well let's get on going shall we?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you thought this chapter was heated, ohhhhh goodness wait for the next one! And if you didn't think this chapter was heated, well the same thing applies. I hope you all enjoyed!


	5. The Hurricane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The next step, by the way, is to hold still while I do this." Ryan's face contorted in confusion as Gavin lean across the table towards him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next installment, don't really have anything for notes, so just enjoy!

**Gavin's** face was practically glued to the window of Ryan's car as he looked at the quickly approaching amusement park, his green eyes wide with excitement. He was practically bouncing around the car waiting to get out and run to the amusement park.

Ryan parked the car and exited walking over to the other side to open the car for Gavin and help him out of the car. "What a gentleman." Gavin teased as he looked up at the taller gent and winked, making Ryan laughed.

"So Gavin...what do you want to do first?"

"I dunno, let's wait until we're actually through the gates to decide."

Once inside the gates Gavin was squealing and jumping around, pointing at things he wanted to show Ryan, he was almost as excited as he was at that airport when he first came to the U.S. Ryan just stood and laughed at the little brit, admiring his childish mannerisms and overly excited actions.  _Fuck he looks so adorable when he acts like an idiot._ Ryan thought. He just took in the sound of his voice as it became more high pitch with every exclamation. Finally Gavin decided which ride they would go on first. When he pointed it out to Ryan and the older teen face palmed.

"R-really Gavin...aren't you 16 years old?"

"What? I wanna go on the roundabout! They're so lovely and bright, they're gorgeous! The slow ride and music make me happy."

"So...do you not like the rides that aren't for little scared children?"

"Hell no, like roller coasters and fast rides? They can go sod right off. Now let's go."

Gavin took hold of Ryan's hand and led them to the Merry-go-Round, although he really would prefer a more hardcore ride, this night was about Gavin so he would do whatever the goofy sophomore wanted. Ryan paid for their tickets much to Gavin's approval, but he assured him that it was his treat because he was being 'a good host'. They ascended the stairs to the horses when Gavin pulled Ryan towards him.

"Ryan, won't you ride next to me? Here, I'll take the green horse and you that blue one." Ryan took his spot on the horse next to Gavin. Sighing as he waited for the boring ride to begin.

Ryan sighed thinking of how foolish he must look look on the plastic horse. This made him feel annoyance, but his frown faded into a dreamy smile when he looked over and saw Gavin grinning ear to ear, it was like a parent watching his child open presents on Christmas Day. The lights that illuminated the merry-go-round shined like twinkles in the Brit's eyes, and made his long shaggy hair shimmer. Gavin turned to see Ryan smiling at him and he grinned back just as the ride came to life and they started to move. Gavin would look over at the tall boy every once in a while to see how he was enjoying it, pleased to see he was smiling throughout the entire ride. But how could he not when he knew Gavin was so content? Although he'd been on them so many times in his life, Gavin Free never had a dull time on the merry-go-round.

"Ryan!" The gent turned to the lad. "Hold out your arm!"

"Why?" Ryan questioned, doing as he was told before getting an answer. Gavin took hold of the bigger hand then looked over to Ryan, smiling goofily. Ryan smiled back and couldn't help but blush at the cute little British face. After awhile the ride came to an end and they got off of their plastic steeds. Ryan did his best to ignore the giggles and smiles from strangers as he and Gavin exited the merry-go-round, feeling awkward with his arm linked with the lad's.

"Now," Ryan said before Gavin could suggest anymore boring attractions. "we're going on a ride that appeals more to me." Ryan stopped walking and took his arm from Gavin.

"Okay, what do you wanna go on Ryan?"

"That one." The taller boy pointed to something behind Gavin, causing him to turn and looked. Gavin was taken aback by what he saw. There was a huge red sign with black letters that read 'The Hurricane'. Beyond the sign was an enormous roller coaster with yellow railing and red lights all over that shone like fire in the night. The coaster had numerous twists and turns, suspenseful lifts, and terrifying drops. Gavin liked calm, pleasant rides, he'd never gone on a ride like this, nor did he ever want to. But he did anyway, he did it for Ryan.

"O-okay, let's go shall we." He chuckled nervously letting Ryan lead the way. The Hurricane looked even scarier up close Gavin thought as they walked up the stairs to their cart. The attendant let down their bar and assisted the nervous Gavin with his seat belt, the poor boy shaking too badly to do it himself. Ryan didn't notice any of this, just being happy to get on the exciting rides.

The roller coaster roared and lit up, coming to life as the cart jerked and began to move forward at a moderate speed, 20 feet in the coaster bent upward into a steep slope.

"Oh, this isn't so bad, not too fast." Gavin said looking over to Ryan smiling.

Ryan winked in response. "That's cuz we haven't gotten to the good part yet."

"The good par-AWH!" Gavin's sentence was cut off as he began to scream, they began plummeting down a steep drop in the ride. They were going so fast the poor Brit couldn't even move as they were whipped around corners and upside down, whirled in every direction and living through 3 more terrible drops before it was over. Ryan got off the ride and stepped down laughing, as he had been throughout the entire ride. As he was walking away he noticed everyone who'd been on the ride walk away except one: where was Gavin? Ryan turned around to an awful sight. Gavin was sat on a nearby bench with his hands in his lap. His head was hung down low so his face wasn't visible. As Ryan approached he noticed the other boy was trembling. Ryan sat himself down looking down at the British teen.

"Gavin..? What's wro-?" He was cut off when he suddenly felt two hands clenching his black and blue jacket and a head rested on his chest. Ryan felt his heart sank to his toes, feeling warm tears soak his white T-shirt.

"Bloody h-hell, Ryan you, y-you s-selfish _MONG_!" Gavin barely managed to speak in between sobs. "I told you I liked going on the roundabout because it was a slow, peaceful ride. What made you bloody think I'd be okay on that damn atrocity?! I only when on the damn thing for you, because YOU wanted to. Why didn't you stop me? Why did you even suggest the ride, I thought I was gonna DIE!" The young lad fell even deeper into his bout of sobbing.

"Gavin I..." Ryan was trying to find the right words to comfort the quaking Gavin, but he found none. So he let the younger boy cry on him, allowing him to calm himself down. "Gavin I'm sorry, I'd forgotten all

about that, I'm so fucking stupid. Please try to forgive me, I didn't mean for this to happen. Do you want me to take you home?"

"N-no, but you can make it up to me kinda, but it's gonna take a few steps. That ride was AWful."

"Fair enough, what's step one?"

"Buy me food. I'm hungry." Gavin grabbed Ryan's hand and led him to one of the concession stands selling food items. Gavin walked up to the concession stand clerk and ordered nachos with a pretzel and coke. Ryan ordered himself just a hot dog as he pulled out his wallet to pay for the food. They thanked the clerk and walked towards on of the tables.

"Thanks Ryan." Gavin said putting a cheesy nacho in his mouth.

"It's the least I could do. Now.. could you tell me how many steps are left to this forgiveness process?"

"As many as I feel necessary. The next step, by the way, is to hold still while I do this." Ryan's face contorted in confusion as Gavin lean across the table towards him. Gavin brought a cheese covered nacho towards Ryan's face and pressed it to his lips. The blue eyed teen opened his mouth slowly to let the nacho enter, closing it shut and then awkwardly chewing.

"Finally," Gavin smiled all goofy like. "I got to feed you after all, heh."

"Yeah...but not because i needed it. Now what's the next step Gav?"

"Win me a stuffed animal, there's a game over there." Gavin pointed towards a stand with prizes hung along the wall. The game had balloons pinned to a wall in the back, where one had three attempts to try and pop at least two with a blow dart. Gavin ran up to the stand, Ryan walking behind. Ryan paid the admission fee and picked up a tube and dart. He aimed at a blue balloon in the middle and blew hard, hitting it dead on.

"One down! Only need one more for a small prize, two more for the bigger ones." The worker handed him another dart. Ryan aimed for a pink one this time, his blow not as powerful as the first but it got the job done. Gavin looked at Ryan bouncing up and down in excitement, whispering small cheers to him. The final dart hit a red balloon dead on, and Gavin cheered.

"I'll take the big bear to the far right, my good man." Ryan thanked the worker and handed the chubby three feet tall stuffed bear to Gavin.

"Oh," Gavin squeal with a high pitched. "He's so cute Ryan!" The bear was very fluffy and blue in color. It wore a black T-shirt with the flag of England on it, with the caption 'God save the Queen'. "I love him Ryan, oh thank you! I'll name him...Fog Goggler."

"You're welcome! And,um, nice name. Now what's the next step? I want your forgiveness so badly it hurts." Gavin punched Ryan's arm playfully at hearing that last sarcastic sentence. Although he said it in a joking manner, Ryan really did yearn to make it up to Gavin. He was sure Gavin wasn't upset anymore but he wanted to treat him good, he still felt bad.

"We are almost done here, next step is to go on the Ferris wheel." The Ferris wheel had made a few rotations before doing it's occasion pause to let every person enjoy a turn up at the top for awhile. Ryan and Gavin

enjoyed view, looking up to the sky and looking looking over the view below. "Okay Ryan, there's one step left." "Alright, what is it?" Ryan looked to Gavin waiting for the answer. "I want you, Ryan Haywood, on this Ferris wheel tonight, to kiss me. On the

cheek." Gavin looked at Ryan scanning his face for any reaction, hoping he hadn't scared the gent. He quickly found out he hadn't. Ryan placed his hands gently on either side of Gavin's tanned face, moving in. Gavin shut his eyes tight in anticipation,

feeling a tingle when he felt Ryan's breath on his cheek. Gavin loved this feeling. Ryan placed his lips to Gavin's cheek, the turned the lad's head slightly to kiss the other . He drew back and looked at Gavin, their eyes opening slowly. "Thanks Ryan, that

was lovely, but why did you kiss both of my cheeks?" "Extra apology?" Ryan shrugged and gave him that award winning smirk that just made Gavin melt.

"You little silly sausage Ryan you."

* * *

**All** the steps to the forgiveness process were complete, and with t hat the duo left the amusement park. They would have gone out to a restaurant nearby as Ryan had promised earlier, but as the gent looked to his right he saw that Gavin was sound asleep in the passenger seat. Ryan figured they could just go tomorrow since in was the weekend.

"Gavin? Wake up buddy, you gotta tell me where you live." Gavin mumbled his address to the gent, slurring on every word as he was still sleeping sort of. Ryan could only chuckle and steal glances at the silly Brit when they came to a red light, adoring his peaceful face.

Ryan finally pulled up to Gavin's driveway and shook the lad awake, telling him he's home now.

"Thank you Ryan," he said wiping his eyes. "Can we hangout again tomorrow?"

"Of course Gav, just text me or call me and I'll be sure to come get you. And I'll take you wherever you want." Ryan scrawled his cellphone number on the back of a receipt and handed it to him, since he had Gavin's number but Gavin didn't have his.

"Oh cheers Ryan, you're so kind to me." He scooted closer to Ryan, and he noticed the gent scoot closer in return. "Why is that?"

"Because...you're an amazing person and I want you to feel happy, happy because of me." Ryan leaned closer and pecked Gavin on his cheek for the third time that night. Gavin shuddered at the hot breath on his face.

"Ryan..." Gavin took Ryan's head into his hands, lunging forward and their lips crashed together in a passion lust filled kiss. Gavin raked his fingers through Ryan's sandy brown locks as he stopped kissing his lips and moved down to his neck, giving sweet little kisses, then gently sucking.

Ryan however, was more aggressive. He guided the lad off of him and into the more spacious backseat of his car. Ryan pounced onto the smaller boy and began sucking on his collarbone. He began to explore more, going lower until he was at Gavin's chest and his sucking turned into biting, intense bites that eventually drew blood. Ryan took hold of both of Gavin's wrists with one hand and pinned them over his head, gripping unnecessarily tight. He bit down hard on Gavin's bottom lip and began to kiss him again, feeling tingling sensations all over his body at the iron-y taste of blood. With his other hand, Ryan started feeling all over Gavin's torso, taking in his smooth tanned skin, gripping at it hard every once in awhile. Gavin felt pain in several parts of his body, but was in ecstasy throughout it all. Gavin wrapped his slender legs around Ryan's hips and brought him closer. Ryan took the lad's hint and starts to grind his crotch against Gavin's, feeling his erection through the layers of fabric.

"Oh R-ryan...shag me."

Ryan stopped kissing to look at him. "Shag you? What does that even mean?"

"Shag means to fuck," He replied through labored breaths. "I need you to take me now Ryan please screw me right here."

As much as Gavin's pathetic begging and whiny voice turned Ryan on, and as much as the desperate look in his eyes made Ryan want to tear him to shreds, he got up off the lad and scooted away. "No Gavin...I ca- _we_ cant...do that. I'm sorry."

"What why not? Am I not attractive enough or something?" Gavin squawked holding his rib cage in pain.

"Yes you are! I want to rip you apart, I want to fucking demolish you so badly. You're so sexy Gavin you have no idea."

"Then do it! We both want this, so why can't we? It doesn't matter how aggressive you are with me, you can do whatever you please with me, and I would enjoy it all the way." Gavin only saw it for a split second, it happened so quickly he had to process for a moment if it really happened, but at the sound of the word 'aggressive' he saw Ryan flinch slightly, and Gavin could almost swear he saw a brief look of hurt in Ryan's blue eyes.

"That's just it! Gavin, it's for the best as cliche as it sounds but it's true. I'm sorry Gavin but we aren't doing this." Ryan turned away from Gavin, feeling so bad he couldn't even look at him.

"Heheh, so that's just it?! After all we've been through and what happened just now, I throw myself at you and you...y-you just turn away. And to think I actually liked you." Although Ryan was no longer looking at him, he could hear in his voice that the small boy was crying now. "Ever since I saw you at that airport for the first time, I felt something there and I wanted to be close to you. At school I always admired you even though I was too shy to ever really talk to you, and felt so intimidated by you. Still we somehow grew closer and you started to act so kind, and even flirtatious with me, and I thought you liked me as well. It was such a good feeling and I enjoyed all of the things we did together. And when you kissed me on the Ferris wheel? It felt like heaven. Then you start this with me, practically foreplay and you bloody REJECT me. Well you can fuck right off, Mr. Haywood and good riddance."

Gavin hurled Fog Goggler at Ryan before exiting the car and sprinting for his front door. He ran up to his room, thankful his family wasn't home and shut himself inside his bedroom. He fell onto his bed and crawled under some covers, trying to fall asleep. He reviewed all of the events of today, it had been so lovely and suddenly went to hell. _Why? What's happen here?_ He thought.

Gavin lied awake in bed before eventually crying himself to sleep. 

 


	6. Michael Jones to the Rescue!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we see how Ryan and Gavin are coping after their 'moment' in the car. As you'll soon read, not very well. And Michael seeks to make it right, but is it the most rational way to do it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm supposed to be working on summer assignments right now, why am I writing?? Oh well, I'll prioritize myself someday. This is the rising action to some crazy shiz.  
> I also love how Dan is getting so involved in the fanfics, I feel like he's not in enough of them.

**Ryan** woke up Saturday morning yawning and feeling grand. He went to the bathroom to shower and brush his teeth then got dressed to go downstairs for breakfast. He ate his breakfast then went back upstairs to his room to play some GTA V. It wasn't until he was in the middle of a mission that he remembered the events of last night and his grand feeling turned into one of shame. He felt like he had really hurt Gavin, and wanted to make things right. He knew it'd take more than a few silly tasks Gavin made up but he was still willing to try. He pulled out his phone and started to text Gavin.  
  
Ryan: Hey, it's Ryan. How're you?

Gavin:Please don't text me Ryan.

Ryan:I'm sorry for last night Gavin, it wasn't meant to be like that. Can I make it up to you?

Gavin:Stop texting me.

Ryan:If you allow me to take you out today I can explain myself.

Gavin:So you can lead me on again..? 

Ryan:Lead on? That's harsh...I guess it seemed that way, huh? But please believe me it wasn't.

Gavin:Ok, so what was it?

Ryan:It's hard to explain, it'd be easier to do in person.

Gavin:Right...and I'm suppose to believe that? You bloody lied to me, manipulated my feelings.

Ryan:Manipulated?

Gavin:Yes. You were pretending to like me in the car while at the same time rejecting me. Sending two messages at once.

Ryan:Please just let me take you somewhere and I can explain myself.

Gavin:Can you not explain through text?

Ryan:It's too complicated, and it's something best said in person anyway.

Gavin: Yeah sure, so you can try to play me some more. 

Ryan:Gavin please believe me I'm no player.

Gavin:You're just like the other jocks you hang around. You're no better than those nobs.

Ryan:Gavin please hear me out?  
  
Ryan received no more texts from Gavin after that, after 30 minutes he threw his phone onto his bed and pounding at his bedroom wall. _WHY WHY WHY won't Gavin listen to me?If only he knew. What IF he knew? He'd probably hate me more, maybe it's best I don't explain..._  
  
Ryan decided to leave his wall be and sit at his desk and turn on his computer. He went to YouTube then plugged in his headphones, listening to Avril Lavigne's "When You're Gone" for hours on end.

* * *

**After** sending that last text to Ryan he went to his phone's settings and blocked the dumb jock's number. _Yeah_ Gavin thought, _dumb jock was a fitting name for the prick._ He set his phone down and went to his private bathroom to shower and start the day. Upon removing all of his clothing, he stood in front of his mirror naked and noticed a few things.  
  
From the collar bone down to his belly button region there were various bite marks scattered all over him, some still had trails of dry blood near them them. He lifted his arm over his head and winced at the pain in his rib area, noticing a few bruises starting to form where Ryan had been griping his torso. He lowered his arm only to be introduced to another injury; he had red finger and hand marks on his wrists, also from the night before. In the short time they'd been making out Ryan's aggressive loving had escalated quickly. He cursed himself, having obtained at least a month's worth of marks from the dumb jock. Gavin hopped into the shower and quickly dried off, going back to his phone to see he had a new message.  
  
Dan: Hey dude, how was the hangout?

Gavin: Awful, let's not bloody talk about it.

Dan: Monged luck man, but you should talk about it with someone.

Dan: Pleeeeease? :(

Gavin: We went to the amusement park.

Dan:Go on...

Gavin:We went on the roundabout and then had me go on a horrid roller coaster. Then to make up for it he bought me food and won me a prize.

Dan: Go on...

Gav: We went on the Ferris wheel and he kissed me twice as a final way to say sorry.

Dan:It sounds like he's right fond of your arse, what went wrong?

Gavin: In his car he was being all flirty and I kissed him on the lips. We started to make out and move to the back seat of his car.

Dan: Isn't that good?

Gavin:He started to kiss me all over and then began biting my collar bone and chest.

Dan:Oh...

Gavin:The bites reached down to my stomach region, and he bit so hard blood was drawn.

Dan:Oh Gav no...

Gavin:He grabbed my wrists and held them above my head, they're still red hand marks there.

Gavin:He even began griping me sensually and I have bruises on my rib cage area. It really smarts.

Twenty minutes passed when Dan just out of nowhere burst through Gavin's bedroom door and came towards him.  
"Dan! What the bloody-"

"Your mom invited me in, don't bother asking me to leave because you need a friend now. Now Gavin I'm so sorry fo-"

"For what dear Daniel?" Dan's face grew into one of concern at Gavin's overly innocent and happy expression, an almost sarcastic smile stretched across his face.

"Sorry about that bitch Ryan? Don't be!"

"Gavin but, he..h-he's hurt you. "Gavin grabbed Dan's shoulders shaking him a bit, his maniacal smile standing strong.

"Damn right he did, he hurt me right good. But guess what Dan? I was moaning in ecstasy throughout it all, every moment of it. I never felt so right when feeling so much pain, his touches were divine. I craved his aggressiveness." Gavin's smile faded into a frown. "What's wrong with me Dan? What has America done to me"  
  
Dan pulled his fellow Brit into a hug, stroking his hair. "I'm so sorry Gav, it'll be alright. You were caught up in the moment, you didn't know what was going on. He'll pay for hurting my Gavin...now Gavin, take off your shirt."

"Wut?!"

"Take off your shirt, show me your injuries."  
Gavin hesitated a bit, but he stood and casted his gaze to the floor. He pulled off the oversized T-shirt and turned around to Dan.  
  
Dan's heart broke at the sight, he could see that Ryan lived up to his nickname well. Gavin's bruises and marks looked so painful Dan winced at seeing them. "Oh Gavin, how horrid. It looks like someone's beat you up or something."

"But it doesn't bloody matter now. After all that I throw myself at him, give myself to him and he just rejects me."

"You tried to shag that nutcase?! After he hurt you like that? Gav-"

"He wasn't doing it to hurt me Dan, it was his way of being sensual. Couples bite each other all the time and stuff like that, god knows I've seen plenty on you, poorly covered by collars," Dan cleared his throat nervously and adjusted the collar of his polo.

"Ryan just did it harder, people have their preferences."

"You're defending him. You're in denial, Gavin."

"No I'm simply telling the truth. Everything Ryan did to me I wanted, bites and scratches and bruises are common in foreplay."

"Are you sure Gavin?"

"Dan I'm not one to keep my mouth shut if I feel threatened, and you're my best pal, I'd definitely tell you." Gavin gave him a reassuring smile and gave him a big hug. They chatted for a bit before Dan left for home, leaving Gavin alone.   
  
Gavin wasn't one to carry around hatred in his heart, but he felt it for Ryan. He wanted to make the dumb jock feel bad just like he had done to Gavin. But knew he'd never had the heart to do anything to someone, no matter what somewhat did to him. He chose to get on his Xbox and start building a game in Minecraft for his friends to check out later.

* * *

**"I** know Ryan has a mock reputation for being crazy and stuff, but are you sure our Ryan did that?" Barbara looked at Dan with concern and uncertainty, smoothing her blonde hair behind her ear.

"I know it sounds outrageous but it's TRUE, I was just at his house and he even showed me the wounds, while I wasn't looking I uh-took pictures." Dan pulled up the picture on his phone and held it out for Barbara, Michael, Kerry, and Jack looking over her shoulder.  
  
One look and the bruises up Gavin had Barbara shrieked and retracted back in disgust, nearly dropping the phone before Kerry took it and looked at the picture closer up.

"It's just...I've known Ryan for so long and he makes jokes that make him seem weird and unstable but they're only JOKES, and to Gavin of all people it's just-unbelievable."

"Fuck how long you've known him Kerry," Michael shouted, banging his fist against the wall. "The bitch is fucked up in the head after all, he's gonna pay for messing with Gavin."

"Michael at least think this through. Fight violence with violence? You're stooping to his level, that's not how this should be approached."

"Kerry...Ryan hurt Gavin for _no_ reason what so ever, I'm gonna rip his damn arms off because he damn well deserves it."

"But we have to look more into it! There's got to be more to it that we don't know."  
  
Jack stepped into the fray, always having served as the group's main peacemaker. "Kerry's right Michael, two wrongs don't make a right and we're just now learning about this situation. Dan, could you please explain it again?"

"What more can I say? They were making out in the back of Ryan's car and Ryan got a overly aggressive. Gavin claims he liked it and it was just part of their...'session', but I don't buy it. Gavin's too soft to want and get someone in trouble. That and I also think he's in denial about the whole thing."

"So the little fucker tried to ra-"

"Don't you say it Michael Jones! Just don't even dare," Barbara was trembling now, total sadness in her eyes. "you can't just, j-just assume that."

"You know it's absolutely true, that's why you're shaking so badly, you're just scared to say it's true. Ryan hurt our Gavin and he needs to PAY." Michael stormed out of his house red as a tomato, hopped into his car and drove off before Jack and Kerry could catch him.

"Fuck...guys come on we need to go." Jack said getting his car keys off of Michael's desk. He got out his phone and sent a group text to all of their friends: 'Big trouble. Explain later. Goto Ryan's.'

"Right, but I'm gonna meet up with you guys after I go get Gavin." Dan said looking up at the bearded gent.

"W-wait," Barbara stood up from the chair. "Why?"

"Because...Michael knows where Ryan lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you feel cliff hanged guys? I'm sorry, but you know how the fanfics work sometimes.  
> So how're you enjoying this Freewood so far? Feel free to let me know in the comments. Please and Thank you! :D


	7. Bow Before The Mad King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan looked up into Michael's eyes after recovering with a new look. The remorseful blue eyes had a new attribute to them: bloodlust. The taste of blood got Ryan excited, and the pain made him angry. Licking the blood around his mouth he stood up straight and stared the other teen down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo much drama, GOODNESS. I must warn that the fight in this chapter doesn't become gory or anything like that, but it does get fairly violent. Blood is involved quite a lot, as are some pretty major injuries and descriptions of those injuries. So beware, those weak of heart.
> 
> I know the chapter was short guys, but I wanted it to be about only one thing. I'll make the next chapter much longer to compensate.  
> There might be several spelling mistakes because my computer screwed up a few times whenever I tried to skim through it and check. So I just gave up.

**Michael** drove the 3 miles to Ryan's house in silence, clutching the steering wheel so tight his knuckles turned even whiter. He was gritting his teeth and practically had steam coming out of his ears. He was no football player, and not as big as Ryan but being on the wrestling team had it's physical benefits and he had enough muscle to see it without looking hard at all.

  
He parked right outside of Ryan's house then turned off he car. He looked to the driveway glad to see his parents were out. He'd been to Ryan's house enough to know that they never parked in the garage and only in their driveway. Michael knocked on his door, trying to remain calm as long as he needed to draw Ryan out of his house.  
  
"Hello...Michael?" Ryan was wearing light blue jeans and a gray T-shirt, he looked tired and drained, like he'd been having sleep trouble.

"Uh hey Ryan, step outside with me me for a minute we gotta discuss something."

Ryan gave him a questioning look as he hesitantly walked out of his front door into his front lawn. "So what did you wanna talk about Michael?"

"You wanna uhhh tell me about the shit you did to Gavin?"

"Oh that...Now Michael I didn't mean for it to go that far. And I didn't mean to hurt Gavin's feelings or anything."

"You think THAT wouldn't have caused him pain you stupid fuck?! 'Didn't mean to hurt him' what a load of bullshit."

"Calm down Michael, I know you're upset and I don't blame you, but surely it isn't that bad, I didn't think Gavin would be this upset.."

"What you did is one of the worst fucking things you could do to another human being. Disgusting."  
Ryan came a bit closer to the New Jerseyan trying to reason with him. "Okay Michael you're really overreacting. I know what I did was bad, and I'm not trying to shake it off as nothing...but it wasn't as bad as you describ-"

"Don't come near me!"

 _ **BAM**_  

Michael hit Ryan right in the jaw, making the gent stumble backward and hold his jaw in pain. Michael just stood there waiting to see how he'd react, quite frankly the reaction he got wasn't what he'd expected.  
Ryan looked up into Michael's eyes after recovering with a new look. The remorseful blue eyes had a new attribute to them: bloodlust. The taste of blood got Ryan excited, and the pain made him angry. Licking the blood around his mouth he stood up straight and stared the other teen down.

"Oh, heheh you wanna fight Mikey-Wikey? It would be rude of me to deny you that wish." Michael was, for the lack of better words, disturbed by the tone Ryan was speaking with now, one filled with, dare Michael guess, insanity. Michael made a puzzled look at the large teeth bearing grin Ryan was now wearing, and how wide his eyes had gotten, he looked like an animal.   
  
Ryan charged Michael, he swung at him hitting him in the temple. Hard. The bespectacled lad was already bleeding and a in blind fury pounced back. Swung three rapid punches at Ryan, missing with everyone. Ryan responded with a punch to the stomach and a kick in the back when he was doubled over.   
  
"Mikeeeeyy?! Don't tell me you're done now! Get up and fight meeee!"

"You really are fucking mad, you insane bitch. I'll kick your ass then send you to the hospital where you belong."  
Michael dodged a rock the junior hurled at him and ran up to him. He took Ryan's arm and twisted it in such away he grunted in pain and Michael couldn't help but flinch at the sick sound Ryan's arm made. Not broken, but messed up fairly badly.   
  
At this point neighbors had gather around Ryan's house watching the bloody fight. Michael charged Ryan again and punched him two times in the face before getting a knee to the stomach. He got up, picking up a tree branch and hit Ryan with it, causing the gent to fall to the ground. Michael had the branch over his head to hit him again, doing so two more times as all of their friends had arrived to the scene. Gavin scrambled out of Dan's car trying to stop the fight, but being held back by Geoff and Miles.

"Micool, Ryan, stop! Pleeease guys!" He tried to wiggle out of the two older boys' grip, planning to get between them to end the fight.  
  
Ryan barely rolled out of the way of Michael's third swing with the thick branch and got up quickly, puking up blood and wiping some out of his eyes. He saw a random plank in his yard from his father's workbench with a sharp edge. He grinned wickedly. He took it and hurled it at Michael, the plank going into his side.   
  
"Aargggh fuck you!" The New Jersey boy took the plank and tackled Ryan, plunging it into his leg. Strangely he howled in amusement more than in pain before passing out as he vision got blurry, the tree branch hits finally getting to him. Michael lies on the ground seconds later, still grasping his bleeding sides groaning in agony.  
  
Lindsay ran up to Michael crying over him softly. She rested his head in her lap to stop him from choking on the blood he coughed up occasionally, soothing his hair and trying to keep him awake. One of the neighbors had finally called 911 and sirens could be heard minutes later.  
  
Ryan wasn't out for long as he started to sit up gripping his leg, clearly out of his trance-like state now. Gavin ran over to him, Geoff, Miles, and Dan following after.

"Ryan?"

"Gavin...hey, I'm sorry you had to see me like this." Ryan was sorry to himself because he had too see himself. His hair was probably crimson at this point from all the blood that came of his head injury. His clothes were slightly torn from being grabbed and hit with sharp things, and his leg had a nasty gash from the plank which now lay next to him.

"Ryan, what happened between you and Michael?" Miles said, extremely serious and upset. "Aren't we all friends here, how could you two let this happen?"

"He attacked _me_. He came to _my_ house and starts to _hit_ me, I had to fight back. And it just escalates after that. He started i-"  
  
Michael's attention was pulled to Ryan and all of Lindsay's soothing and calming went to waste."I didn't start shit you mother fucker you're the one that caused this whole damn situation, I'm just protecting Gavin from your weird ass. You really have the _balls_ to say all that after what you did to him!" The gang looked over to Ryan, the clueless ones looking utterly confused.  
  
"What?" Geoff stepped in. "What DID you do to Gavin, Ryan?"

"Oh my goodness, fuck! I know what I did was a dicky thing to do, but all of this shit. Michael and I lying on the ground bleeding, and all of the sirens and crowds just because I wouldn't have sex with Gavin?! I'm sorry! I truly am, and I didn't mean to hurt him like that... but god dammit is what I did really  _that_ bad?"

Everyone turned their attention away from Ryan and switched to staring at Gavin, causing him to hang his head in humiliation.

"What?! I fought with Ryan nearly getting killed just because he wouldn't fuck Gavin? Damn you Dan that's not what you said happened!" Now everyone's heads turned to Dan, even the neighbors watching who didn't know him. Dan sighed and face palmed hard.

"I guess I read the signs all wrong, I shoulda believed you Gav. But you were so upset and the marks on your body it just seemed like.."

"Marks on his body? What fucking marks?" Before waiting for an answer Geoff lunged at Gavin and pulled his shirt up enough to should his collarbone, causing the Brit to squeal and kick his legs about. Everyone gasped at the hideous bruises and bite marks, so vivid and clearly visible despite the sun beginning to set. Geoff's face became dark and grimly sad at seeing his small friend like that, his hands starting to shake. "Ryan, did you do this?"  
  
Ryan scratched his neck in shame, looking in the marks he had caused Gavin, while that was just his form of foreplay he hadn't meant to mark his this badly. But before he could speak Gavin spoke up.

"Yes. He did. But I wanted him to. He's telling truth I swear, I sort of misinterpreted some signals and threw myself on him."

"Then Gav." Geoff questioned. "Ryan didn't try to ra-?"

"Bloody hell no you mong!"

"Then why're you so upset?!"

"I'm upset 'cause..." Warm tears started to stream down Gavin's face. "I'm upset because Ryan doesn't love me! But I never wanted any of this to happen." Gavin was fully on sobbing now, and all everyone could do was look on sadly, feeling bad for the sweet lad. Gavin continued to cry even as paramedics took Michael and Ryan to the hospital, and didn't stop until everyone had left the scene except Ray, Jack, Dan, Geoff, and Lindsay.   
  
"I still don't understand," Lindsay said "How did all of this happen?"

"I hung out with Ryan yesterday." Gavin started. "We had a good time all throughout it, and in the car he kissed me on the cheek, on his own free will, so I thought he liked me. I started to kiss him and before I knew it he was on top of me and biting me and such, NOT to be violent, just his...um-foreplay is more aggressive then most I guess. I asked him to shag me and he wouldn't, and I was crushed. So I was explaining to Dan what had happened. But I guess it just sounds like nonconsensual sex and an attack if not explained well enough." 

"Oh Gavin. I highly doubt Ryan dislikes you if he went that far with you. Believe me when I say it was for you benefit that he didn't 'shag' you." Ray said adjusting his glasses.

"That's just what that mong Ryan said, what are you talking about!"

"I'll let Ryan explain that to you, we'd just all better get on to the hospital. To apologize to Ryan and check on the two asshats."

"I um-can't," Gavin lied."I've already been out later than I promised my family. But tell Michael I wish him good health and that he's my boy."

"Okay," Ray replied. "What do you want me to tell Ryan?"

"To go sod it."He replied half joking half dead serious.

* * *

 **That** night as Gavin lie awake in bed, he wondered about his relationship with Ryan, if I'd ever go beyond what they did in the car. Wondering if they'd even be friends ever again. But the more he thought the more he realized he didn't want either of those things to say. He decided he hated Ryan, and that although it would be difficult, he planned to ignore the dumb jock. This love was lost and he wanted to leave it in the dust, forgetting it forever. Gavin finally fell asleep, dreading school in two days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed reading..<3  
> I haven't much to saw as a ending note, except I hope you liked getting a sneak peek at the real Mad King Ryan.  
> Now I know that was pretty extreme for a much of high school students, but it's possible I suppose.


	8. Haywood's Brave Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is sort of like, a climax in the story. Pretty major chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *WARNING* Some smut and sexual conflict. Like pretty detailed, basically porn in word form.  
> I must also note I'm not that skilled at writing smut, so bare with me here. I'm still learning, I promise it'd be better in later scenes.

**It'd** been three months and Gavin still found that he had a burning sensation in his heart when he saw Ryan. He tried to ignore the dumb jock but found this hard to do when they were in the same group of friends, and Ryan no longer hung out with his Jock friends unless forced to after practices of post game parties. Gavin still wondered why he'd stop associating with his other friends.   
  
Lunch was always pleasant for the young lad, usually he goofed around with Michael and Kerry, he did that more so than actually eating his food or talking to the other people at his table, taking extra care to avoid looking at Ryan. During gym he stayed as distant as he could from the gent, which wasn't easy because Michael and Kerry linked them together in that class. He would avoid being his partner at all cost, and when they had to do the obstacle course again he made sure to do the entire thing by himself, although he knew it'd be much easier with Ryan's help.  
  
One day in Gym when Gavin had to scramble back to the locker room to retrieve his running shoes he felt a shoulder grab him from behind and gently turn him around.

"Gavin?"

"Yes Micool?"

"You and Ryan need to fix some shit up, you can't stay mad at each other this long it's been months! He and I nearly beat each other to death and made up within days."

"Ryan and I's...'status', is none of your business Micool. Just leave it alone because we can't just be friends."

"Gavin. Your rut with him causes trouble to the whole group, can't you get along with him at least?"

"No Michael, you don't know what happened between u-"

"So what? You tried to do the do and he didn't want to that happens all the time."

"But he played me like a sport, pretended to like me and then turns out his didn't. A damn teasing jock he is." Gavin picked up his shoes and stormed out before Michael could find anything else to say. Gavin was going to hate Ryan forever and nothing would change that.  
  
Because it's a new semester Gavin now gets to take his favorite class: Theatre and Drama with Mr.Burns. Unfortunately, he literally knew not a single student in the class except Ryan Haywood. Such luck.  
  
Mr. Burns walked into class with packets of paper stapled together. "Alright pupils, today you're going to do a group project, and I'll be assigning your partners so don't ask about that later. When I say your name go over to you partner."  
  
Gavin heard the teacher pair up several people before he heard something he should listen to.  
"...Gavin Free and Ja-or Ryan Haywood."  
  
'Bloody hell, bullocks.' Gavin though as he walked slowly over to the desk attached to Ryan's. He made sure to keep his head down and not say a single word to the dumb jock, he couldn't bear speaking to him. Once the partners were handed out Mr. Burns quickly told them to start writing down an improvised story and set a timer for 1 and a half minutes. Pencil against paper was the most popular sound in the room at this point, until the timer when off and the sound of them being slammed down engulfed the class.

"Now," announced Mr. Burns. "Partner A will read what the wrote, then Partner B. When you're done with that you'll give each other constructive feedback. Now begin!"  
  
Everyone went right to reading and chatting, except Gavin and Ryan. Gavin hadn't lifted his head since he'd been seated by Ryan, who was trying to get up the courage to start reading or atleast say something. After fifteen minutes of painful silence he finally did.

"Once there was a flower who only perked up around his friends and family." Gavin began to listen, but his head was still cast down. "But once he was alone he liked to uproot himself and carry his roots and leaves to the shadiest spot he could find, he preferred the darkness even if it made him wilt a little, but the darkness was what he truly loved. He knew he wasn't suppose to, that's why he went back into the light whenever his flower family and friends were around, but there was something wrong with the flower. But then the strange flower had a talk with the sun. The sun suddenly came into his life and shined brightly on him, and no longer did the flower want to be in darkness."  
  
Ryan looked up from his paper to see Gavin still looking down, his long hair shrouding his face. The lad brought his paper in front of him and began to read his own.  
  
"A boy came to live in America so his parents could relocate for work. The boy was outgoing and bubbly and even a bit annoying but he had no trouble making a lot of top pals. But when he met one member of his circle of friends he felt a yearning in his heart. The member was blue eyed, big and strong, with gorgeous hair and a lovely face. But it turned out he was a dumb jock that took advantage of gay sophomores for shits and giggles."  
  
Ryan's head snapped up to look at Gavin, a look of hurt in his sapphire eyes. "Gavin... I'm hoping your story isn't about me." The Brit didn't even acknowledge Ryan had spoken. "Because my story is about you, you're the sun and I'm the flower."

The gent saw Gavin wasn't talking, he sat in silence for the rest of class. When the bell rung Gavin got up from his chair and suddenly whipped his head back up, leaving the class with confidence in his stride. Ryan slowly got up from his seat and turned in he and Gavin's papers before walking out and going to the parking lot.

* * *

**Gavin** was at his desk playing Rust when he heard a knock on the door. He opened it only to be faced with one tall blue eyed tall gent and his father.

"Hey Gav, one of your pals from school has come over for visit, so I've just brought him up. I'll be in the garage working if you two need me." His dad went back upstairs and Ryan walked into Gavin's room timidly noticing the interesting art in it.  
  
An archery set sat next to the lad's bed, with a Mark Nutt Poster hung right above it. He looked to the right to see a shelf filled with various trophies ranging from 'Slow Motion Cinematics' to 'Archery Youth Tournament'. Gavin's Curtains and bed spread were creeper green and he even had pillows with creeper face pillow cases. He looked at Gavin's desk and entertainment center to find that the Brit had almost every game console under the sun.

"Cute room." Ryan commented mostly to himself. Gavin just continued to look at the gent with a blank face, what he was feeling Ryan couldn't tell. He walked up to the Brit and held his shoulders as he looked deeply into his dark green eyes. 

"Gavin this is the first time in _months_ you've even _looked_ at me, we need to talk. Please. There's so much explaining to catch up on, I have to make things right with you." No response.

"Gavin, speak to me." Ryan said louder as his voice broke. He shook his shoulders a bit and still no response.  
  
Ryan was a tough spirit, but he'd finally had enough of this. He backed up a few steps and sunk to his knees, feeling tears of loneliness and guilt roll down his face.

"I'm a terrible person, Gavin. I really am. Back in Georgia when I started Freshman year I was quite popular with the ladies, not that I really cared to be. I would get hookups and dates all the time but they never ended very well. Long story short right before we did...you know what, I would get things rolling with the usually foreplay-ish thing: Kissing, neck nipping and sucking whatever. But I thought to myself 'this is boring'. One night I was with my girlfriend at the time and tried biting down harder to see what would happen. She bled a bit but we shook it off. I'd given her marks much similar to yours actually. But something about the taste and sight of blood just gets me so damn excited, always did. Needless to say now I'm sure, she ends up in the hospital from our little session, she wasn't dangerously injured but enough for doctors to question if it was rape. It _WASN'T_ of course and she even said it was consensual, but I felt so bad for causing her that pain. I know nothing makes what I did right but I just couldn't control myself. Something just comes over me when I see people bleed or taste blood, when I feel I have power over someone. This happened with three more girls, and they all ended up in bad shape by the time we were...'finished'." Ryan paused for a moment, letting himself calm down a bit more before he continued the not so short story.   
  
"I started to date a guy eventually, I liked guys better for some reason. But my first boyfriend didn't take to kindly to the bites and grabbing I did on him, and just wanted to get on to next base. And this pissed me off, I went crazy on him. I did oblige to his request but afterwards to let out further frustration I may have...beat him up. Anyway, I started to feel that way in the car with you and I didn't want to cause you that pain...I couldn't bear it."   
  
Ryan was weeping still, having to tell his story in between sobs. Ryan wept at the memory of the girls and guy he'd hurt, he wept from shame. Ryan wept at the reminder of the help he probably needed to get. Ryan wept for the darkness in the back corner of his heart. Ryan wept at the overwhelming guilt in his heart and for the loss of his sweet friend called Gavin.  
  
Gavin was utterly shocked at the older boy's story, taken aback for a moment. Still, he came over to the broken gent and knelt down in front of him. He cupped Ryan's face between his hands and lifted it to face him. 

"So...you did it to protect me...from _you_?"

Ryan nodded as he wiped tears from his eyes and sniffled. "I wanted to tell you sooner, but I didn't know how to. I didn't want you to hate me, but I guess you still did. But please don't think I was just rejecting you, I would never."

"I had no idea Ryan, I'm so sorry. I wish I would've been more understanding. I ignored and hates you for all this time, for no good rea-"  
  
"Gavin it's in the past, it's okay now. We just have to move beyond this now so we can be back to normal."

"So then Ryan?"

"Yes Gavin?"

"D-does that mean that you do like me after all?"

"No." Ryan leaned in to kiss the lad's forehead. "It means I love you Gavin Free"  
  
At the sound of the three word phrase Gavin tackled the older boy to the ground and held him close. "Oh Ryan, I love you too, I always have you darling sausage you."  
  
"You're too silly Gavin, but that's okay. It's cute."

"You're cute Ryan."

"Shut up." Ryan chuckled and kissed the brit's forehead again before sitting up. "Now to celebrate us do you want to go somewhere? It's only 1:00 now."  
  
"Us? So Ryan you're my boyfriend now?!"

"Yeah if you me to be. Do you want me to be your boyfriend Gavin?"

"Do you?"

"Yes. No where do you want to go?"

"Who says I wanted to go somewhere? Let's just stay here. Wanna play some video games? I've got a gob full."

"Wellllll...Sure. Why not?"

* * *

 

 **The** couple had been playing Minecraft for hours when Ryan sighed sleepily and fell backward to lay on the floor. 

"Ryyyyaan... you're not sleepy are you?" Gavin leaned back to lay next to his new boyfriend, stroking his hair.

"No, I'm just not feeling Minecraft anymore. I like the game but I can't play it forever. I get restless." Ryan got up and sat on Gavin's bed, bouncing on it a little. 

Gavin got up and stood in front of the gent. "Then what do you want to play now Ry?" Ryan grabbed him gently by the waist and brought him down onto his lap, planting several kisses on his tan face.

"I want to do something special with you, Gavin. Something I should have done about three months ago, something I was foolish for not doing sooner. But I feel we both really need this, and I don't mean to rush things. So if you're not ready now, we can wait as long as you want."

"Are you joking?" Gavin replied, his voice more serious and deep than usual. "Every time we touch I get this feeling, like it needs to happen."

"Oh Gavin." Ryan brought the Brit's head down to level with his to kiss him, a steamy collision of their lips filled with need, longing, happiness, and fulfillment, the love they'd bottled up spilling out of them. Ryan picked up Gavin and used his foot to pull back his green sheets. He placed his boyfriend on the bed and begun to peel his shirt off, revealing his muscular chest and abs. He climbed onto Gavin and lifted his way over sized shirt over his head and flung it across the room. He leaned down to kiss him more, their tongues dancing to the rhythm of their fast beating hearts. Gavin found himself gliding his hands over Ryan's chest, taking in the smoothness and muscles. He rolled them around so now he was on top of the gent. 

He lowered his face to the taller boy's ear whispering softly into it. "I'm gonna make you feel good. Okay Ry?" He instructed his boyfriend to sit but and lean his back against the headboard and got in between his legs, slowly unzipping his blue faded jeans. Painfully slow, but he wanted this to last awhile as he knew it'd drive Ryan insane. Once his jeans were unzipped, he pulled them down a little bit to get better access to the gent's boxers and began to palm his cock through the thin material.

"Gavin,"Ryan groaned. "P-please stop."

"Stop what darling?"

"Just take it out already, I can't take this."

"Whatever you say." Gavin gladly obliged. He pulled down his boxers to release Ryan's cock, shocked out how big it was at full attention, at the very least eight inches if he had to guess. Gavin stoked the appendage a few times before giving it a submissive kiss. He put the head in his mouth and began to slowly take Ryan's length until he hit three inches, where he felt his gag reflex shout at him to slow it down. He licked up and down the huge shaft, covering it in saliva and sloppy kisses. All of this earned him quiet groans and fingers tangled in his hair, this was driving the Mad King even madder as he felt the Brit's warmth all over him. Finally he managed to get in six inches and began bobbing up and down on it, quickening by the minute. Ryan cried Gavin's name, nearly pulling the lad's hair out at this point. Gavin licked the underside of the cock up its full length before swallowing it again.

"Gavin, don't stop. I-i'm gonna.." This was Gavin's signal to stop. He got up off the gent's cock, causing him to whimper at the sudden loss of heat. "G-gavin, what're you doing?"

"Get up and get ready for 'the main event'. You didn't think I'd let you cum so quickly." He replied as a matter-of-factly. He lied back down on the bed and allowed the bigger boy to get on top of him. 

Ryan positioned himself with Gavin's hole, seeing no need for foreplay. "Y-your not gonna go in d-dry are you?!" Gavin squawked.

"Isn't that what we would have done the first time? Besides I don't have any lube. Now shhh, I'll be gentle." He brought his cock towards Gavin's hole, causing them both to moan when his tip made contact. He looked to Gavin once more to confirm it was alright before entering. Gavin grunted, doing his best to stifle his scream. It was a searing, very uncomfortable pain, but he tried to relax and enjoy his first time. Ryan pushed in slowly up to the hilt, letting his boyfriend get used to his huge cock before pulling out completely and pushing in a bit harder the second time. Once he felt Gavin was loose enough he began to plunge in deeper and faster, cursing and moaning under his breathe at the euphoric feeling. Ryan shifted a little and found the sweet spot he was looking for. His strokes became deeper and faster, crashing into the lad's sweet spot harshly. Gavin was seeing stars at this point. No longer feeling the pain in his rear but instead a feeling of nirvana, a feeling of accomplishing a goal he'd had for years instead of only a few months. He wrapped his legs around the larger boy's waist and gripped his back, practically clawing into it.

"Oh, R-ryan.. fuck me. I love your big dick inside of me." Ryan was beyond words at this point, left with only grunts and moans as he pounded into the British youth. He placed his head in the crook of the younger boy's neck and nipped at is, making sure not to bite down to hard. He reached down to grab hold of his boyfriend's cock between them and began to jack it off.

After some time both boys were nearly shouting each other's names and they reached orgasm together.

"Ryan!"

"Gavin!" The two boys came together, releasing jet after jet of white cum onto each other's stomach. Ryan's collapsed and rolled over to lie next to his boyfriend, pulling him closer. It had been awkward getting into the right position in the beginning, and Gavin at one point started bleeding from the penetration, but it didn't worry him, because he knew next time he'd be more prepared and there'd be no pain.

"Ryan...you were great. That was toppers."

"Only the best for my little Gavin."

Ryan fell asleep with the lad wrapped in his arms, totally spent. So tired in fact, that he'd passed out before he could hear what Gavin whispered before falling asleep himself.

_"I love you Ryan Haywood."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason it didn't end quite how I wanted to, still it's good enough.  
> As always, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy.:D


	9. Doctor Ramsey and Doctor Pattillo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As some of the oldest and "wisest" members of the gang, Jack and Geoff give the new couple advice when Gavin gets one big weird idea.

**Ryan** woke up really early the next morning in an unfamiliar room, until he looked down to see the sleeping Gavin snuggled against him and suddenly he remembered where he was and why. He looked over to the alarm clock on Gavin's bedside stand to see that it was 5:00. He began to gently shake his sleeping boyfriend as he wondered why they decided to have sex on a school night.

"Gavin? Gavin wake up, we have school in a few hours and I need to go home." 

Gavin smiled with closed eyes, refusing to get up out of bed. "Hmmm...morning Ry. How're you doing?" He leaned up to kiss the gent's cheek and went back to sleep.

"Gavin c'mon now." He gave up pretty quickly, realizing he wasn't going to get up. "Alright well I'm gonna get home and get ready for school, so I'll see you there." Ryan pecked the Brit on the forehead and sneakily left his room, grateful Gavin's family was still sleeping. And hoping his were too. After two hours Gavin finally got up out of bed and went about his morning ritual. He went downstairs to greet his mother over at the sink and his brother and sit down to a plate of eggs, bacon, and a bowl of cereal. His father greeted everyone as he went over to kiss his wife before heading out to work. Gavin had always admired his parents' relationship, and he thought there was no better marriage to date, he sighed biting into a piece of bacon as he began to think.

* * *

 **"Are** you listening Ryan or are you gonna stare off into space some more?" Ryan turned around to see two tired looking blue eyes looking at him. 

"Sorry," Ryan smiled. "you're being so pissy Geoff why're you so pissy?"

"Because Ryan Haywood's being a distracted bitch. Now let's work on this calculus assignment together, my brain just shuts down when I fucking see math...dammit now Jack's not paying attention what the fuck's your guys' problems?"

"Oh I was just working on the assignment, unlike you guys." The bearded ginger retorted. "I'd rather get it done now. Less homework for me."

The three gents sat working on the paper, striking up conversation about everything. Upcoming tests for classes, sucky tv shows they'd watched recently, and the new Mac Pro coming out tomorrow."

"If you've used one you've used them all. I assure you all that it will be complete garbage." Ryan hit the desk hoping to strengthen his argument. He'd always hated Macs, and he couldn't stand how fond his friends were of them.

"Just don't say that in front of Gavin," Jack chuckled. "by the way have either of you seen him today? I usually run into him before this class and we talk awhile, but he seemed so...distracted." Ryan choked a bit on the coke he was drinking, although they weren't really allowed to eat or drink anything in that class.

"Distracted how?" Geoff questioned, half interested.

"Like his head was in the clouds, he seemed to be concentrating on something really fucking pleasant because he was humming and smiling all weird while he was walking in the hallway. I could practically hear the angelic music as he walked past me."

"Well. I have a theory." The two other gents leaned in to hear what Ryan had to say. "Gavin and I, as of yesterday...are dating." Ryan leaned back in his desk and grinned smugly, taking in the congratulations of Jack and Geoff, and even a few students sitting around them aw'ing.

"Well no wonder, that's great buddy." Geoff leaned in close to whisper to Ryan. "You guys didn't...bang or nothin right?" 

Geoff leaned away and laughed, showing he was just joking. But he looked back at Ryan when he didn't laugh back or respond, only blushing and clearing his throat nervously. 'Dammit Haywood', he thought to himself. 'You're getting weak. It hasn't been twenty four hours since you had sex and you're already letting it slip out.' Geoff cracked a hopeless smile and waited for the other gent to suddenly perk up and say 'no' to his accusation, but as realization set in the smile died.

"God damn Ryan," Geoff whispered. "It hasn't even been a day. I mean it's not that I disapprove for you guys'...business. But only after hours of dating."

"Geoff, I've liked Gavin since you introduced him and Dan at the airport...that was, believe it or not, seven months ago before this school year begun."

"But don't you think it's still going a bit too fast? You guys had been in a rut type situation."

"We still loved each other through the rut. We've known and loved each other enough to be ready, Geoff." Ryan looked into the older boy's blue eyes with a look of seriousness, as serious as he could be without being rude to his friend. "It's fine, no need for concern." Ryan turned forward to keep working on his assignment, Geoff and Jack chatting silently so Ryan wouldn't hear them.

 

* * *

 

 **As** soon as the bell rung for class to end Jack left the room quickly to go find something: one silly green eyes Brit whose not thinking right at the moment. He went to the school's top floor hoping to run into him before he'd gone down the stairs, and he was in luck.

"Gavin! Come here I gotta talk to you for awhile." Gavin did as he was told, swiping back his long locks.

"What's up Jack?"

"Now Ryan, Geoff and I were talking in math last period and found out...something."

"Uh-huh"

"And Geoff and I, not trying to be parents, thought it was a bit strange."

"Uh-huh"

"And we think you and Ryan should stop and contemplate a few things."

"Uh-huh" a few more 'Uh-huh's' and euphemistic comments later Jack finally spit it out.

"Why wouldn't you and Ryan at least date awhile before doing that? At least a day maybe..?"

"Jack please don't tell me how to run my bloody relationship. Ryan and I are in love you donut, have been for months now. We communicate just fine, we know what each other wants. And you know what I want right now Jack? To marry Ryan. And guess what? I bet he'll want to as well. There's nothing wrong with that."

Jack stood looking at Gavin with a look of confusion, annoyance, and humor, a look he wore often when the lad did or said something foolishly funny. "Alright Gavin." The gent lifting his arms in mock surrender. "Go become Gavin fucking Haywood." And he walked away.

"I will!" Gavin huffed before walking away in the other direction.

* * *

 

 **Gavin** was at lunch eating his fish sandwich, watching Michael, Ryan, and Monty argue childishly about which Halo map was the best for a match with many players. He put down his sandwich and begun to eat grapes when he felt a large hand on his shoulder. He looked up into lightish brown eyes and an orange beard.

"We're going on a field trip Gavin let's go. You too Ryan come on." The two got up from their seat looking at each other puzzled. They tried to ignore the 'oooooooh's and 'they in troooouubleee's coming from the table. They followed Jack into an empty classroom, whose students and teacher had gone to lunch. Jack gestured for them to sit on a couch in the room as he went to sit in a chair next to Geoff's.

"What is this?" Ryan spoke up. "Is this supposed to be marriage counseling you guys got going on?"

"We'll ask the questions, Mr. Haywood." Geoff said formally, but Ryan could see through his eyes that he was only joking and doing his best to stifle his laughter. Geoff cleared his throat and begun. "Now you know I respect and love you guys' relationship, but you guys need to slow down. I know you're happy to be out of your rut...but sex after a few hours guys? That sounds like lust more than love. And Gavin, really? You're thinking about fucking marriage now?"

Gavin looked at Jack with a look of annoyance and betrayal. "Yes...what of it?" Ryan looked at the boy next to him and took his hand.

"Gavin? Have you really?" Gavin smiled sheepishly and nodded. "That's so sweet Gavin."

Geoff scoffed. "Dammit Ryan I thought you were to mature one. You guys are 17 and 16, that may have been normal back in the day but you guys are in high school...and the 21th century!"

"Jack, Geoff...Gavin and I love each other. We will talk about marriage as we please, and even do it as we please. You have Griffon, Geoff, and Jack you have Caiti. You guys should understand love. Now.. I bid you gents farewell. Until we meet again." Ryan got up and put his Varsity jacket over Gavin's shoulders and pulled him a deep kiss, flipping off the two other boys in the room as he did so. He winked at them and then guided his boyfriend out of the room, leaving Geoff and Jack speechless.

"Those motherfuckers." They said uncannily at the same exact time.

* * *

 **After** school Gavin and Ryan were walking hand in hand through the park, Gavin had his head leaned against the taller broader boy with his eyes closed dreamily. It was so tranquil. There were barely any people so nobody was near them, and the only sounds presents were the sounds of the wind, birds chirping occasionally and their conversation. They loved that they could talk so freely wandering through the enormous park with no one around to disturb them.

"Gavin?" Ryan suddenly asked.

"Yes love?"

"When we were talking with Jack and Geoff, at school today...and you said you wanted to marry me, was that true? Or were you saying it to piss them off?"

"I was saying it to make them mad." Gavin stopped walking and stood in front of the gent. Although he was only as few inches taller, the lad still had to turn his head upwards to meet his blue eyes. "But that doesn't mean I never dream of it. Or that I haven't already started planning it. Or that I haven't thought of which sounds better: Gavin Haywood or Ryan Free."

Ryan bent down to kiss the lad on his soft lips. "Oh you're just too cute, that's really sweet Gavin. Do you want to plan it out together? We can just sit and talk about it."

"Oh!" Gavin squealed. "That'd be absolutely great, let's sit o'er at that bench, love, and we can write down our plans."

"Write them?" Ryan asked confused as they sat down. Gavin took off his backpack and pulled out a notebook and pen, clicking it so the tip was out and scrawled 'LOVELY RYAN AND I'S WEDDING IDEAS' on top on a page. "Alright," Ryan said. "first off...my suit is going to be black with a red tie and accents."

"Boring old black? Ugh, well if you want it that's fine. Mine's going to be white with neon green accents. And the theme of our wedding can be white, red, and green," Gavin paused to write their ideas down. "Is that okay with you, Love?"

"Mmmm sure that sounds great. How about our cake be marble so it appeals to everyone?"

"Top! And it should have white frosting with green trim."

"Why green?" Ryan grimaced teasingly.

Gavin scoffed in pretend disbelieve "For Minecraft of course! As a matter of fact...the cake should be made to look like a dirt block on Minecraft, a traditional Minecraft symbol."

"That's a weird idea, Gavin...but it's cute. Alright I'm in. Also, the music that should be playing is a song called _'Every Time We Touch'_ by Cascada, is tha-?"

"'CAUSE EVERY TIME WE TOUCH I GET THIS FEELIN, AND EVERY TIME WE KISS I SWEAR I CAN FLY..." Gavin busted out into off key song and instantly started laughing. "Okay, okay, seriously I love that song. It's in."

"Good. So...Gavin Haywood?"

"I like Ryan Free more, it rolls off the tongue better."

Ryan thought of it for a moment, furrowing his eyebrows and finally shaking his head. "Naw."

"Ryyyyaan..." Gavin whined.

"Okay okay okay you big baby. How about this: we swap last names. So you're Gavin Haywood and I'm Ryan Free."

"That sounds all monged up. We have to share a last name, Ryan."

"Ugh...well. We can think of that later. Now about location, I was thinking in some cool garden."

"As long as it has beautiful flowers I'm in." Gavin sighed tiredly and leaned against his boyfriend. "We have so much to plan."

"Yeah we do." Ryan replied. "But most couples take months to plan out their weddings, it's a process that needs to be done carefully. Now...Oh! We have to have a cow in the wedding. Just stood next to the alter, a very special cow."

"Wot?" Gavin laughed. "A bloody cow? I mean I have no problem with it but...why?" "

At my grandparents' farm there's a cow there who I have a strong bond with. I love him, and as weird as it may sound I want him there. I really do."

"Oh that's sweet Ryan. What's he called?"

"My grandparents let me name him when I was little. His name is Edgar."

"Oh that's lovely, so do you want him to look fancy? Since he'll practically be like your best man right?"

"Yes he will, but he doesn't have to look too fancy. If there's a way to get a bow on his collar than yes, otherwise we'll just get him a really spiffy new collar." Gavin chuckled at the idea, although he loved it almost as much as Ryan.

"I am bloody mental for agreeing to this idea."

"Well, it was bound to happen," Ryan said as he pulled Gavin into a hug. "you are going to marry the Mad King one day."


	10. I Want This To Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ryan...stop teasing me. P-please...do something!" he squawked.  
> "What's that babe? What's something? What do you want?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I'd hit a...rut in the story. I wasn't sure where to go from the last chapter, I didn't want it to seem like the story's just skipping around and stuff. But I'm hoping the awesomeness of this chapter will make up for it.
> 
> **SMUT ALERT**
> 
> I'm pleased with how much people seem to be liking this fanfic, and you all have no idea how happy that makes me.

**_Bzz_** _bzz bzz_ Gavin rolled over yawning, reaching for his phone before his eyes were fully open. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes blocked his a little to shield his eyes that hadn't adjusted to light just yet. He slid the slider to the right to answer it.

"Hallo?" Gavin said sleepily.

"Hey Gavin!"

"Ry-Bread!" He suddenly perked up and smiled, as though his boyfriend could see it through the phone. "What's going on?"

"Ohhh nothin, I was just thinkin' since it's sunday and all we could you know...go out sometime? Today?"

"That'd be top! So what'd you have in mind?"

"Well...I got two tickets to go see a certain singer of "Every Time We Touch" at the P.Adams Performance Center.

"Ryan you didn't..." The brit gasped in disbelieve. "what else is she gonna sing? What time is it? Where is P.Adams? Performance Center? How should I dress?!"

"Chiiiilll Gavin. She'll be singing, of course 'our song', as well as ' _What Hurts The Most', 'Pyromania',_ and a host of others, you can see when we get there. It begins at 9pm, ends at... _allegedly_ midnight."

"But where's it at, Ryan?" 

"The performance center is in downtown Austin. And to answer your other question, it's just a normal concert, no need to wear anything fancy." He then added teasingly. " _Buuutt_ it doesn't hurt to wear clothing that fits you."

"Sod it, you silly donut. You said it starts at 9..." Gavin peered at his window and observed the sun setting. "What time is it now Ryan? How long have I slept?!"

"It's 6pm, so I'm going to come get your ass in...1.5 hours." Ryan said as a matter-of-fact like. "Sooo see ya then."

Gavin said bye to Ryan and got up to go ask him mom if he could go. "Mum? Ryan and I want to go to a Cascada concert at 9, can I go? He's gonna come to pick me up."

"Aww you've been going out so much, I'm glad you're coping with the new setting so well." She cooed. "But. If you're gonna go to a concert you've go to be dress properly, I'll help you darling."

"Muuuuumm." He whined. "I can dress myself, Mum. I've already got a good idea'r what I'll wear?"

"What is it? Show me and I'll deem it worthy." She joked as she beckoned Gavin to lead her to his room. He sighed as they went up the stairs and to his room. He ducked into his closet for a moment to pull out a purple t-shirt with white letter that read 'People Like Grapes', and black skinny jeans. "Well... at least it's actually your size. So that's a start but it won't do. Let's try something else." She sat on Gavin's bed, sensing this would take a while. Gavin whimpered and trudged back into the closet. Next he pulled out a a pink polo with a blue collar and light blue jeans. He turned around to show his mother and she facepalmed.

"Gavin..."

"Muuuuumm." He lowered his head and went back to the closet. Several looks of disappointment and whiny groans later, Gavin finally found an outfit his mother approved of. A pair of white knee length shorts, but she did not take to kindly to the shirt's design, a red t-shirt that read 'PUSH MY AWESOME BUTTON.' with an arrow pointing to his crotch. She thought it was provocative and childish, but it was actually his size and the outfit coordinated well enough. She gave a thumbs up but then look up and grimaced at the boy's hair.

"You plan to do something different with your hair, yeah?" 

"W-what's wrong with it?"

"Nothing, Gavin, you have lovely hair. I know you're just going out with friends but why not where it in a different way?"

* * *

**Gavin** and his mom finally finished up with his look, ten minutes before Ryan came knocking on the door. He wore the red shirt and white shorts despite his father's playful teasing about it, and a ponytail his mother urged him to wear. Gavin trotted towards the door but got knocked down by his little brother who'd came rocketing down the stairs. He opened the door with a big grin and beckoned the gent inside.

"Hallo Ryan, I'm George."

He smiled politely at them. "Hey George, nice to meet you. And hello Mrs. Free." 

"Hello dear, you look lovely." That was an understatement. He was wearing a black long sleeved shirt that subtlety hugged his triceps and trapezius muscles, the sleeves were slightly rolled up, and showed his slightly hairy forearms in such a way Gavin couldn't help but stare. He was also wearing blue jeans and black Nike shoes. His attire was fairly basic, but he pulled off the look with ease.

"Thank you, ma'am. So where's Gavin at?"

"Oh, he'll be with you shortly when he decides to get off of the floor." She pointed to the spot on the floor where Gavin laid at giggled. Ryan looked down at his silly boyfriend and smirked questioningly. 

"O-oh hey there Ryan." Gavin laughed nervously as he got himself off of the floor. He bid his family goodbye for the rest of the night and followed Ryan out of the door. When they got to his car Ryan opened the door for him and closed the door, then walked around the vehicle to get into the driver's seat and drive off.

 

At a red light, Gavin looked over at his boyfriend and grinned. "You look absolutely toppers tonight, love." 

"Aww thanks, Babe." Ryan leaned over and kissed his cheek. "You're looking pretty hot yourself. You're hair's adorable."

"'Babe'? That's a new nickname. But I love it, it's cute."

Ryan placed his hand on the brit's upper thigh and squeezed softly. "Cute nickname for a cute little British boy."

"Ryan," Gavin squeaked, face turning pink. "don't tease me in the car, you cheeky mong." He hated when the older boy did this to him, and he always pretended that there was nothing wrong with it. He was so nonchalant about it, but deep down Gavin loved it.

"Why not  _Babe?_ " 

"B-because I'm gonna get a-"

"Because what, Gavin?" His hand wandered farther up the thigh and squeezed harder. Gavin moaned at the touch and squirmed under the touch. "What'll happen if I don't stop?" He moved his hand a bit to the right until he found the spot he was looking for. "I'm just trying to press your awesome button, isn't that what your shirt says?"

"Not now, love, please." The lad said between labored breathes. "We've got a concert to attend, we haven't got enough time for this."

"Why do you think I picked you up so early? We have 2 1/2 hours before the concert starts, and there tickets are for reserved seats towards the front. Even if we get there at 9 o'clock on the  _dot_ seating won't be an issue." The green light prompted Ryan to turn left, and he did onto a road that seemed fairly deserted for the most part. He pulled into an abandoned parking lot, very very abandoned, the point that trees and years of neglect had overtaken most of it, and no one would know it existed until they actually pulled into it. The forsaken land wasn't visible from the street so it was the perfect spot for...this type of business.

"Where the bloody hell are we, Ryan?"

"Oh just a place...where no one can see us from the road...so we can do stuff." Ryan leaned over to Gavin and cupped his tan face between his hands. Then he brought the face closer and kissed it softly on the lips. The kisses started out soft and gentle, but soon escalated to making out and lip biting. His hands found their way under the brit's shirt and on his chest where he pulled and twisted the sensitive nipples. Gavin just sunk into the feeling, quietly moaning Ryan's name in between kisses until he went crazy.

"Ryan...stop teasing me. P-please...do  _something!"_ he squawked.

"What's that babe? What's something? What do you want?"

"I...I want your big cock in my mouth!" 

"In the back." Ryan said, his voice was slurred, and laced with something. Excitement and pleasure. The two boys made their way to the backseats of the car. Ryan sat in the middle spot with his legs spread wide open and Gavin in between them. He rested his elbow's on the gent's thighs and fumbled with the fly of his jeans. He reached into his boxers to fish out the huge penis and pulled it out. He craned his neck forward to take it into his mouth. Gavin gulped nervously before his mouth was forced open with his boyfriend's cock, immediately having it pushed now his throat. His eyes began to water a little, and it took everything in his being to stop from gagging. He recomposed himself and began to bob his head up and down on the thing, earning ragged moans of pleasure from Ryan. "Ohhh fuck yes Gavin." He hissed. "Look at my cute little brit with his boyfriend's big fat cock in his mouth, god you look so precious." Gavin kept going, he occasionally took it out of his mouth to suck his balls into his mouth and out again, stroking the shaft and kissing it submissively. He did everything he knew Ryan loves, doing his best to please him. It became evident when Ryan grabbed Gavin's head and gently moved him off of his dick.

Gavin suddenly looked up into the two cloudy blue eyes. "What's wrong, love?"

"N-nothing...everything's right. Too right, I almost finished before the real fun began." He grabbed Gavin by the waist and guided the lad onto his lap in a spanking position. He pulled the lad's pants down and reached into his pocket where he got out a small bottle of lube. He squirted some onto his fingers and prodded Gavin's entrance before shoving in two fingers.

Gavin hissed at the sudden entrance. "God damn, Ryan...you're being so rough."

"It's nothing you're not used to at his point." He pulled the fingers out harshly and slapped the brit on his ass. "Just...let it be. I'll take good care of you." He placed the two fingers back into his boyfriend and pumped in and out a few times before adding a third finger. His strokes became agonizingly slow, but ever so deeper, he was driving Gavin crazy as he whimpered and squirmed in desperation. But Gavin dared not protest against it or he'd get slapped on the ass again. And as much as he loved Ryan's roughness it'd only prolong the process between the grand finale. "Alright, Gavin, bend over." Gavin stood up and bent over in such a way that one foot was on the floor of the car while his other leg rested in the seat. He supported himself on the built in armrest of the car door, with Ryan in the same position right behind him.

"Ryan, fuck me..." Gavin whispered quietly.

"What was that, Gavin? I don't think I heard you."

"Fuck me, Ryan. Fuck me with your huge fucking cock, I need you inside me. I feel so empty."

"That's what I thought." Ryan kissed a shaking and lust filled Gavin on his back, all the way down the line of his spine. He loved to make the younger boy wait, he acted so wild and desperate, like an animal in heat. Ryan lubed up his cock before grabbing Gavin's hips tight and shoving inside him in one harsh thrust.

Gavin groaned loudly at the sudden intrusion. "Jeeeesus!" His mind was in the clouds, he was seeing stars as the bigger gent above him fucked him senseless. He started out rough and never slowed down, each stroke only got deeper and faster. Ryan was like a machine with an infinite amount of fuel. Ryan soon found Gavin's prostate and sent him into intelligible speech.

"Oh look at how you get when you have my fat cock in you, you're speechless. Oh you're so beautiful, such a good little boy taking every inch." Ryan growled as he crashed into his prostate over and over again, earning squeals and high pitched noises for Gavin. He yanked the lad's long dark blonde hair and whispered into his ear. "How close are you, you sexy little brit. Are you gonna cum for daddy?"

"Mmmm I-I'm s-s close, daddy, argh you're big dick is making me cum. Oh it's so good in me." Ryan was in a state of absolute nirvana, his blue eyes glazed over. Without warning he shot his load into Gavin's ass, 5 long jets of cum shot up his entrance which sent him into his own orgasm. The two sat in the backseat holding each other, panting for air and recovering their sane minds. "Ryan, that was fantastic, love. You're so amazing."

"You're just so fucking hot," he panted. "I can never hold back when I'm with you." He kissed Gavin on the cheek before zipping his pants again helping Gavin put on his own. The two climbed into the front and drove off to the concert.

* * *

 

**"'CAUSE EVERY TIME WE TOUCH I FEEL THE STATIC, AND EVERY TIME WE KISS I REACH FOR THE SKYYY! CAN'T YOU HEAR MY HEART BEAT SO, I CAN'T LET YOU GO. WANT YOU IN MY LIIIIFFEE!"** Gavin and Ryan, along with every other fan there, sung along with probably one of the best Cascada's best songs, looking up to the stage and jumping up and down with the crowd. Soaking in the sight of the beautiful singer, the techno-y lights flashing all around. It was like a rave, but better. This was the grand finale of the concert. It was approaching 2:30, but it was well worth having no hours of sleep for school the next day. It was well worth getting to see one of their favorite singers, and it was well worth getting to spend time together.

"Ryan!" Gavin shouted through the sounds of the concert.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for bring me here, I love this."

"Anything for my little prince, I had a feeling you would love it, and I can't tell you how happy I am that you really did." Ryan leaned down to give his boyfriend a passionate kiss before pulling back and adding. "I love you, Gavin Haywood."

"I love you too... Ryan Free."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.
> 
> I totally didn't stare at pictures of young Ryan to decide what he might look best in for the concert.
> 
> And I totally didn't feel uncomfortable and dirty writing the sexual content in this chapter.
> 
> I was so happy to release this chapter I may very well have overlooked some typos. I'll be sure to go back later and fix them(probably).


	11. Meet Me In The Library

**"Love** , hold on a moment before you leave. I've got something in the house to bring out to you." Gavin kissed the gent's cheek before running up to his house and disappearing inside. Ryan tapped the steering wheel of the car as he hummed and looked through the windshield and down the street and waited for his boyfriend. Gavin returned moments later with a wide grin and something in his hands so Ryan got out of the car and walked over to the passenger side where Gavin stood and studied the object. Under the moonlight it appeared to be a game board sized box wrapped in blue and white striped gift wrap. A curly white ribbon adorned the top of it along with a tag that read:  
  
 **To:Ryan ~~Haywood~~ Free  <3**  
 **From:Gavin Free**  
 **Don't open parcel until Gavin calls you and tells you you can!!!**  
  
"Oh thank you Gavin, this is too kind. I love it already." His face grew crimson red as he bent down to kiss the lad. "May I know what it is?"  
  
"Didn't you read the tag you cheeky donut? You've got to wait until I say you can open it, by all means do not open in until then." Gavin raised an eyebrow at him. "Is that clear?" Ryan sighed and nodded. "Top! Well I'll see you at school tomorrow, have a good night love." Gavin hugged him and gave him a peck on the cheek before running back to the house. Ryan got back into the car, looking over at the present and drove home.   
  
When he entered the house his parents and sister were already sleeping, naturally since it was 3:00 in the morning. Yawning the gent trudged up the stairs and down the hall to his bedroom and closed the door as quietly as possible. Then he placed the present on his desk and got into his pajamas, set his alarm for school in a few hours and climbed into bed. Peering through his dark room he saw the box slightly illuminated by his computer's speaker light. He then rested his head on the pillow, falling asleep nearly on impact.

* * *

 **Ryan** woke up only 3 and a half hours later, and he was absolutely exhausted. He'd gone to bed at around 3 in the morning and school began at 7:50 so he had limited time to get ready and make it to school on time. Ryan got out of bed slowly, still dizzy from slumber and he showered, brushed his teeth, dried his hair, and then got dressed in a red shirt exclusive to the school's football team and a pair of dark blue jeans. He'd just slipped on his red Nikes when his phone came to life with his ringtone, which he'd jokingly set to Gavin and Geoff laughing. He went over to the phone planning on not answering it, but when he saw _'Gavino <3'_ and a picture of Gavin had filled the screen he did.  
  
"Morning beautiful." Ryan cooed playfully.  
  
"Good Morning, love. How did you sleep?"  
  
"Good, good, it's the amount of sleep that's not so good."  
  
"Oh poor wittle Wyan didn't get enough sleep oh boo hoo." Gavin teased. "Anyway I wanted to tell you that you can open the parcel now if you'd like, and I want your reaction at school."  
  
"Umm alright, when and where at school?"  
  
"Let's meet after school in the parking lot, yea? I mean we could during drama class..but we wouldn't be alone then now would we?"  
  
"I'm afraid I have football practice after school, and then I'm supposed to go out with the team for a pre-game day celebration."  
  
"Oh you and your bloody sports," Gavin sighed sadly. "well then Wednesday after school in the parking lot. How's that sound?"  
  
"That'll be great, sorry it can't be sooner, babe...so see you later?"  
  
"Yeah, see ya then. I love you Ry-Bread."  
  
"Until later, gorgeous." Ryan hung up the phone and put it in his pocket before going over to the present. He carefully unwrapped it from it's paper prison and lifted the flaps of the box. Then he removed the layer of red wax paper and couldn't help but gasp out loud at what it contained. There were so many questions he wanted answered now, so much stuff he wanted to think but his clouded mind could not perform the task now. "No...no, no, no, no Gavin _why_?" He thought out loud as he paced the room. "Anything but this, it's just...I can't fucking why why _whhhyy_. I have fucking school I need to leave." He ran a hand through his hair before going downstairs to the kitchen where he was greeted by his mom. He kissed his mom goodbye telling her he needed to leave now or he'd be late for sure. He grabbed a bagel and went out to his car, driving away with thoughts shooting through his head like bullets. He tried not to think at all because he feared it'd make him think of it. He wasn't sure how he would handle this and he didn't want to think of how we would, because he didn't want to handle it. When he got to the school he parked where he usually doesn't and entered through a door on the opposite side of the school no where near his first class. It was a bit of a bother, but he was willing to be late to class to avoid seeing Gavin at this point.

* * *

Ryan sat in his desk staring at the geography textbook but was too distracted to read the words. He tried to listen to the teacher give his lecture at the front of the room but his ears did not digest the words. And he wanted to be a part of the conversations his friends were having, and be excited about the game Tuesday but this failed too. He could only think of one thing. This thing had vibrant green eyes that sometimes looked blue, shining soft hair of gold that reached down past a pair of tan shoulders, and a slender body. It was a boy. Ryan could only think of a boy from England named Gavin Free. He replayed every memory he held of Gavin, beginning all the way back to where Geoff introduced them. Ryan thought of how friendly the Brit had been when he'd met the gang, and how quickly he and Dan became one of them. He recalled the tight spots he had to help Gavin out of all the time and even their worst moments. He thought of the relations they'd shared in the car. He remembered the flashing lights and beautiful song he sung along to. He remembered the beaming face of Gavin looking up at him, and he remembered telling Gavin he loved him.  
  
 _He's told Gavin plenty of times he loves him..._  
  
Ryan pondered this for a moment, staring out of the window at the cloudy gray sky. _He did love Gavin didn't he? So why have the words begun to stick to his throat when he said them, and he had to force them out? Why did saying it feel like such a task all of a sudden instead of something he says because he means it? He DID mean it right? He still felt the pings of joy in his stomach when he thought of the brit's happy smiling face. And his head still spun in ecstasy when he took in Gavin's sweet aroma, or felt their lips collide. He liked to take Gavin places and get him things he likes to make him happy, and he felt like the most important being on the planet when the lad bought him things. In only a few months he'd grown to love Gavin and in only a few weeks of dating it felt like a millennia. They'd been through so much and overcame it even though they were so young._ And then in that moment, broken cord in Ryan's brain snapped back together.  
  
 _ **THAT WAS IT.**_  
  
Ryan spent the rest of class fidgeting in his chair and shot up from it and practically ran out of the room when the bell rung. During passing time he began his journey to the school library and pulled out his phone.  
  
 _Ryan: Come to the library, we need to talk. Unless you're too pussy to skip class.;) It's about Gavin._  
  
 _Geoff: What the fuck do you want? You didn't get Gavin preggers or something did you? :P_  
  
 _Ryan: -_-_  
  
 _Geoff: :D I'll be there soon._  
  
Ryan put his phone back into his pocket then several flights of stairs and long hallways later found himself at the library's entrance. He went to one of the tables near the entrance so Geoff could find him easily and sat down with a sigh. He waited 10 minutes and began to play the Impossible Game on his phone. He was contemplating excuses he could give his teacher as to why he was late to class, and wondering if it'd be better to just skip the class and hide out when two tattooed arms slammed down on the table.  
  
"Where have you been?!" The blue eyes gent replied whispering as loud as he could.  
  
The other blue eyed gent sat down across from him. "Your dumbass waited until I was already in class to text me, I had to wait for the final bell to ring before I could start convincing my teacher to let me leave, which wasn't easy ya know. So I hope this is important."  
  
"Uh yeah," Ryan began. "it's um...oh..." Ryan sighed.  
  
"How far along is he? When's it due?"  
  
"Six months left." Ryan chuckled. "But anyway, I was thinking in class earlier and I was thinking of Gavin and I's relationship. Which I enjoy, and I care about him so much, I feel like he's very dear to me and he's really precious."  
  
Geoff furrowed his eyebrows and ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah and he feels the same way. So what's the problem?"   
  
"The problem is...you and Jack were right, Gavin and I rushed things quite a bit."  
  
"Then start going slower. Gavin's a understanding little brat, he'll be fine if you guys tone it down for awhile."  
  
"Well I'd like to, but things have occurred and uh- I don't know if slowing down is going to be an easy option to present to him at this point."  
  
Geoff laughed "Why the fuck not?" Ryan took his hands from his lap and sprawled them on the table in front of Geoff. The gent had a confused look on his face but looked down, then his lazy looking blue eyes shot wide open. His mouth practically hit the floor when he saw a silver ring shining on Ryan's finger.


	12. Sir Joel and Princess Ray

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So it's true Ryan?" Ray asked. "Gavin actually found someone who's willing to marry him because they want to? When?"  
> ...  
> "Jesus Christ!" Michael intervened. "Ryan just say yes for the love of god so the idiot can shut up."

**Michael** looked at Gavin in the desk to his right, then to the seat behind Gavin where Dan sat, and then behind himself to give Ray the confused look as well. "What's wrong with this asshole?" He finally asked, pointing at Gavin.  
  
"How should we bloody know?" Dan asked in response. "The mong's been acting like this for weeks now." He raised his hand and poked Gavin hard in the back of the head.  
  
"What the heck was that for Daniel?!" Gavin shouted, receiving a scolding look from the teacher which made Michael and Ray giggle.   
  
"To get your head out of the clouds finally. What's been goin' on? You barely call or text me anymore...of anyone for that matter." Dan whispered. "You're always staring off into space like a lil git and never focus. It's all about Ryan Ryan Ryan. WHY have you become so obsessed with him Gav?"  
  
"Aaaand." Ray added. "I've noticed an interesting list while looking through one of your notebooks. Don't ask how I got it. And uhhh... Not sure how I feel about it."  
  
Gavin gulped. "A list?!"  
  
"A list?!" Michael repeated with a high pitched British accent. "What was the list of, Ray?"  
  
"Gavin and Ryan were planning out there fucking wedding apparently. 's a shit load of things on it."  
  
"S-shut up Ray, you jeb piece. What of it? Yeah we're planning it out already so we'll be properly prepared."  
  
"After like, less than a month of dating?"   
  
"And 7 months of knowing AND loving each other." Gavin corrected the Puerto Rican. "You can't tell me you've never thought of it with Joel."  
  
"No shit. It's not like it hasn't crossed my mind but I mean, I don't want it to happen for many many years. We're kids for Christ's sake."  
  
"God dammit Gavin..." Michael sighed. "so what does Ryan think of this?"  
  
"He wants to as well, I'll have you lads know. As a matter of fact we can all talk to him about it during study hall next hour."  
  
The New Jerseyan scoffed. "Alright fuck head, we'll go talk about it. It's not that I doubt Gavin's dumbness has rubbed off on Ryan, but it'll interesting to hear his answer."

* * *

**Geoff** gawked at Ryan's hand, then looked up at Ryan and back down again. "Dude...I didn't know Gavin was being serious when he said you guys wanted to fucking get married."  
  
"Neither did I! But earlier today he gave me a box with this ring in it, a tie, and a veil. I-I just don't know what to tell him."  
  
"Tell him you don't want a promise ring, dumbass. Is it even a promise ring? Or something more..?"  
  
"I should've known." Ryan ignored the gent's question. "The talking about it, the planning it out on paper-"  
  
"You guys wrote it down on paper? He's really serious about this, and clearly thinks you are too, Ryan. That is if you're sure he really means it."  
  
"I'm positive, there's no doubt in this head." Ryan tapped his forehead. "I don't know how to tell him, he'll be heart broken. And I've already hurt his feelings once before. He'll think I hate him if I do this."  
  
"The sooner you tell him the easier it'll be on him, better than leading him on." 'God, Gavin.' Geoff thought to himself. 'I know you're a moron but is this really what you're trying to get yourself into now?' "As a matter of fact you're telling him in study hall next hour."   
  
Ryan looked at the gent and crossed his arms with a scowl. "So soon? And at school of all places?"  
  
"Fuck yeah." Geoff imitated the scowl and arm position, giving the other teen a serious stare. "Not in front of us of course, text him during...oh how convenient the bell is about to ring." Geoff raised three fingers, putting one down as the seconds passed. As his last finger dropped the bell did indeed ring loudly and Geoff got up from the table.   
  
"Do I have to come?" Ryan whined.  
  
Geoff huffed and pulled the other gent down. "Come on, you fucker." Geoff lowered his voice to barely audible when he added. "Brit fucker."  
  
Ryan perked his head up as he and Geoff walked. "What?"  
  
"Huh?"

* * *

**Ryan** reluctantly trudged into the study hall room behind Geoff, glancing over to their table in the corner where no one was sitting yet. He plopped down into a seat next to Geoff and sighed.  
  
"This is gonna be hard, Geoff."  
  
"Oh fuck yeah it will." He replied nonchalant. "But it'll be fine, he will understand." Just as Geoff finished that sentence Michael, Ray, Dan, Gavin, Griffon, and Jack came in like a line of ants and sat down. Ryan sighed at the loss of support from Geoff, who was now talking and doing work with Griffon.   
  
"Hello, Ryan." Gavin sat next to the gent and put an arm around his shoulder. "Guess what I was talking to the lads about?"  
  
"Ummm...dunno, what was it?" Ryan forced a smile to grow on his face.  
  
"Our promise! They thought I was a mad man er somethin'."  
  
"So it's true Ryan?" Ray asked. "Gavin actually found someone who's willing to marry him because they want to? When?"  
  
"Um y-yeah." He patted Gavin on the head. "That second question I don't know. Gavin?" He turned to the Brit for answers.  
  
"I don't know myself, we'll have to tell our parents, plan it, so much to do." Gavin replied cheerfully. He was beaming with pride as he sat next to his boyfriend, enjoying that his friends were there watching them together. He blushed as he turned to the gent and tugged on his shirt sleeve. "Show them what I've got you, love. You're wearing it yeah?"   
  
Ryan hesitantly raised his finger so the others could see the ring, it was a silver band with minor decorations carved into it. Ryan blushed and faked a grin at the compliments and thumbs up being thrown at him. And he looked at the other tables in the class, thankful that there weren't that many students in the room and that they all sat too far away to hear them.  
  
"That's precious, Gavin." Griffon said. "Where'd you even get it?"  
  
"Oh thank you. I got it from a local jewelry store here, picked it out myself." He smiled smugly.  
  
"How'd you buy it, Gavvy?" Michael asked with mock interest.   
  
"It didn't cost too much...I forgot how much but it wasn't a problem." Gavin leaned on Ryan's shoulder which caused him to flinch slightly, nobody but Dan seemed to notice. Especially not for this handsome bloke." Ray and Jack made fake gagging noises. For the rest of study hall Everyone was either working on homework or playing games on their phone. Except Ryan who was trapped in conversation with Gavin.  
  
"So let's say you're in Ray's body...and Michael is in Dan's. Would you, as Ray...shag Michael, so that it'd seem as though Ray and Dan fucked."  
  
"No, Gavin. And the only reasons why I would not is because for one I respect and ship Joelay," Ryan and Ray smiled at each other. "two I would remember it, not Ray or Dan."  
  
"But you would have to opportunity to make their anuses hurt when they're back in their bodies and they wouldn't know why."  
  
"That's not as bad as having been there and having the feeling. I would have the feeling and memory of doing it, and so would Michael."  
  
Gavin scoffed. "Silly gite it's not even your body!"  
  
"Okay guys let's not talk about this anymore." Ray said looking down at homework.  
  
"No no no no Gavin." Ryan paused. "It's not my body...but it is me."  
  
"Wot?"  
  
"It's my conscience mind and my soul. So it's me."  
  
Gavin sighed "So if something happened to your body while you weren't in it then what's that mean?"  
  
"I'm sure my body's been through several things without my knowing...but it wasn't part of my experience so it doesn't matter."  
  
"B-but-"  
  
"Jesus Christ!" Michael intervened. "Ryan just say yes for the love of god so the idiot can shut up."  
  
"N-no okay here's the final scenario."  
  
"No Gavin just...shh." Jack said annoyed. Everyone burst into laughter at the comment.  
  
"Why should I shh Michael and Ryan should shh."  
  
"No go fuck yourself." Ryan said. "Why should I shh?"  
  
"That's not nice, Ryan." Michael said with a fake friendly tone. "Why should Gavin fuck himself when you do it so well already?"  
  
A big "OOHHH!" came from everyone at the table, including a "Got em!" from Ray and Dan. Ryan sighed and put his head down, trying to ignore Gavin's questions and Michael's shouts for him to shut up. A few minutes before Study hall ended the blue eyed jock got a text from Geoff.  
  
Geoff: Dude!!!  >:(  
Ryan: I know! I know dammit I just can't tell him he's ADORBZ. He bought me a promise ring.  
  
Geoff: Fuckin' brag about it. So when are you gonna tell the little brat then?  
  
Ryan: maybe I won't...  
  
Geoff: (>•.•)>{you suck!}  
  
Geoff: it's a guy holding a banner that says you suck.  
  
Ryan: No fucking shit. But I just don't know how I can. It's already gone on too far but it hasn't been that LONG. He's rushing it so much he'll wanna adopt before graduation. Maybe I can just prolong this for enough time and then stop when we aren't old enough for promising any type of commitment beyond dating.  
  
Geoff: The Mad King's bravery was blown up by   
a creeper. :P  
  
When the bell sounded for next period, which Gavin and Ryan shared.(Along with Joel and Ray now because they hated their Spanish class and were desperate for an escape.) 'If I cared to learn Spanish I could just listen to my parents' the Puerto Rican would joke. Everyone said their byes and went their separate ways. The couple walked to their next class, resuming their out of body experience argument until the bell for class to start rung and Mr. Burns greeted the class.   
  
"Alright!" He said. "Today's gonna be an interesting little assignment." He paused for affect. "You're gonna put on an improvised skit for the class, well sort of. You can talk it out with your group of 4-6, but NO writing anything down. When your group is called up you just gotta get up and begin on my mark."  
  
The class began to bustle and rustle with people moving to sit with their groups and plan with the little time they were given. Ryan, Gavin, Joel, and Ray were just as chatty, listening to each others ideas and then rejecting them with 'booo' or 'neh'.   
  
"Let's pretend we're in a Minecraft and we're and went to the nether to fight The End Dragon." Gavin squealed.  
  
Joel scoffed. "Yeah and let's get t-shirts saying 'We're nerds that'll never get laid' while we're at it, huh?" He looked to his right at a pouting Ray. "I-I mean not that it's true."  
  
"Ryan you agree with me don't you?"  
  
"I gotta go with Joel on this one, Gav. How about we do something that exposes the contumacious and yet ironically rhadamanthine actions of Wall Street."  
  
"Oh fuck yeah!" Ray said. "Let's do a play about those long words Ryan made up. Great idea."  
  
"Or a anti-smoking commercial?" Joel suggested.  
  
"JUZ BLAAAZE!" Ray shouted, earning groans and head shakes from the other three. Finally the timer rung and Mr. Burns hushed the class.   
  
"I hope you've all got a topic because now it's time to begin!" Gavin squawked in surprise and looked at the other three like a deer in front of a headlight, his hands flailing.   
  
"What'll we do?!" Gavin asked in a high pitch voice that accented his British voice. Joel patted the lad on the head and ruffled his hair, assuring him.   
  
"We improvise. That's what this project is about after all."  
  
  
Their group was the second to go. They all awkwardly walked up to the front and stood waiting for Mr. Burns to give them the signal. They were the class clowns of the class, never ceasing to be funny. That's why as they walked up the front of the large class room where there was a miniature stage giggles came from the students in desks. Ryan looked over at Joel and Ray, who had a neutral look on their face. Then he looked at Gavin who was tapping his foot rapidly against the floor, and a look of nervousness and shyness had taken over his tan face. Finally Mr. Burns gave the signal to go, and go they did.  
  
"Mad King Ryan Haywood!" Joel suddenly shouted, holding up an invisible sword. "Let us fight, and the victor shall get the chance to court the fair Princess Gavin." Laughter already started to burst out, but it quickly stopped as Ryan began to speak.   
  
"A-and what Sir Joel Heyman" his voice shook with surprise from the sudden statement. "shall become of the loser?"   
  
Joel dramatically pointed the sword at the gent and thrusted it extremely slowly towards him. "Death." Ryan caught on quickly and raised his nonexistent sword in the air at a very sluggish pace and brought it down. They continued the slow motion sword battle making over exaggerated grunts and battle cries at each other, and the class only laughed more. In the meantime Gavin stood in the 'castle' with Ray standing in one across from him. And eventually with a harsh blow across the chest Joel won. Ryan made a gurgling noise that signified his demise and dropped to his knees. Then he whispered 'Forgive me, princess Gavin...' and collapsed.   
  
Joel marched over at the castle hold Ray and faked a confused look, scratching his head and turning it to the side. "Where is princess Gavin? Who are you miss?"  
  
Ray didn't expect the remark so his reaction was delayed by a few seconds. "I'm princess Ray." The class's laughter had a spike in volume at Ray's imaginative female voice.  
  
He smiled and stifled laughter of his own and he continued. "Your princess is in another castle..." He wrapped his tan arms around the taller boy's neck, pulling him in ever so gently. "but there's a sexier princess right here in front of you."   
  
"Indeed there is...princess." Joel craned his neck to plant a strong and deep kiss on his boyfriend's lips. Ray's eyes widen in surprised but just as quickly narrowed and then finally closed as he kissed back. This earned them a monotone 'Awww' from the audience, because every knew Ray and Joel were the cutest gay couple in school, not even the homophobic bullies messed with these two.   
  
Gavin pretended to leave the castle and wander around before stumbling across Ryan's corpse and stopping to mourning him. "Perhaps...the power of true love will revive the handsome king. And if this plan of mine should fail I shall become madder than the dead king before me." The class giggled slightly at this, but then the giggles turned into gasps and noises of subtle surprise when the fake kiss on the cheek didn't come. Instead there was a long kiss right on Ryan's lips. In his mind a plethora of thoughts attacked the young man's head. 'Did he really just kiss me of did I feel it wrong?' 'Can the class see this from their desks?' 'Oh my god they'll know now.' The thoughts never stopped banging against his brain, but still he 'came back to life' and looked over at Gavin.  
  
"P-princess Gavin!" Ryan said with a shakier voice than he'd meant. "You came for me, but why? Why did you bring me back from the land of the dead?" 'Please don't say I love you please don't say I love you please don't say I love you' Ryan repeated the chant as he said his line.  
  
"Because... You are my king after all." Ryan's shoulders dropped with relieve and he pulled Gavin into a quick hug with one arm. Then the quartet stood up and bowed, and a roar of laughter and clapping followed. Even from the teacher, though he didn't approve of the PDA during class.  
  
"Well done boys!" He said chuckling. "I see a A+ in you all's future." They all thanked the teacher and began to walk back to their seats, Ryan a bit slower than the others. He wanted to curl up in a ball and die of embarrassment. He wanted to yell at his boyfriend for the little display. He wanted to shout "No homo" and try to laugh it off as innocent acting, and he even wanted to cry. But Ryan did none of these and pretended to nap through the rest of class.   
  
The bell rung for class to end and Ryan tried to get up with intentions of practically sprinting away but Gavin stopped him with a hand on the gent's shirt hem. "What're your hauling arse, for Ryan? What's the big rush?"  
  
He tried to find the words to respond, but found none. "Um..."  
  
"Hey you four!" A group of their classmates came up to them as they began walking down the hall, causing the four teens to halt.. "That little skit thing was pretty nice." One said.  
  
"Ray that damn princess voice you did was priceless! I would've died if laughter if I weren't holding it in!"  
  
"That over dramatic-ness was just funny, Heyman."   
  
"Ryan and Gavin you guys were too cute!" Said another girl. "If I were an idiot I'd think you guys were really together or some shit."  
  
"Cheers," Gavin replied blushing. "well actual we a-"  
  
"Don't be a moron, dude." Ryan quickly interrupted with fake enthusiasm and a faux smile at the girl, doing his best to suppress his nervousness. "I know our acting was impeccable but c'mon."   
  
Gavin gasped and looked over to the gent in utter disbelieve. Ryan didn't care to turn and look back, but he could sense the hurt in the green eyes boring into the side if his head. "Typical jock. But I wouldn't bother with being gay either, since you could get any girl you wanted."  
  
"Heheh, yeah." Ryan looked down at his calculator watch and turned around. "Shit. Football practice, well see ya." He bid everyone goodbye, doing his best to avoid the glare he knew Gavin was giving him.   
  
Ray placed a hand on the brit's shoulder, worry in his big brown eyes. Gavin shrugged it off and started down the hallway Ryan had gone down.


	13. To Be A Better Person

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank goodness for parents! But how will they feel when they find out about their sons' dating situations?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woot woot! My first 1000 hit fanfic! Thanks gals, lads, and gents, I'm really happy and feel loved. I won't go into detail on how special it feels because I'll sound like an emotional wimp to you guys but thanks for reading my fanfics! ♥

**Gavin**  power walked down the hall dodging and weaving though people, his fair locks flowing behind him. He ignored Joel and Ray's pleading for him to stop and advanced through the doors leading to the parking lot. He looked around frantically until he saw the blue eyed gent going towards the doors leading to an alternate way into the locker rooms and sprinted towards him shouting.  
  
"Hey you fucking mong! What the hell was that back there?!" Ryan turned to a red faced Gavin, a bit shocked at how upset he seemed.  
  
"I'm sorry." He reached for the door handle but Gavin took hold of it and held on hard, snarling at the gent.  
  
"'I'm sorry'?! That's not gonna bloody cut it, Ryan. Why would you do that?! Tell me!"  
  
"Okay Gav, just calm down you're drawing people's attention." Ryan said through clenched teeth. "I'm sorry okay? I just...I don't know. We can talk later."  
  
Gavin jabbed him in the chest. "There'll be no talking later. You gonna keep your arse right here and let me speak, you lying prick!" Gavin seemed to show no regard for the seven football players about 80 yards away walking towards the doors.   
  
"Gavin." Ryan growled. "We will NOT talk about this here. I have practice, we'll talk later okay? I'll explain some other time, just _please_ leave now and calm yourself." Ryan gave him a warning look.  
  
"Why're you acting like you hate me?!" Gavin shouted back. "I don't understand what I've done, all I every do is love you, Ryan."   
  
Ryan's voice grew louder and angrier, and his fists became clenched tight. "Not here, Gavin."  
  
"Have I not been showing it enough?! Are you mad at me for some stupid fucking reason you won't even tell me?! What's your fucking problem?!"  
  
"I said, 'not here'!" Ryan held his fist aloft, giving the Brit an angry stare.  
  
"Ryan..." Gavin whimpered, the heartbroken look on his face seemed to bring the enraged gent back to reality. Ryan had never shouted at the lad in anger, so it was a whole new feeling to him. He lowered the fist and stared at it, then looked back at Gavin in horror. His blue eyes filled shock.  
  
"Gavin... I- I'm sorry I just-" he reached towards Gavin but the lad stepped back.   
  
"Keep your dirty paws off me, bitch!"   
  
"Gavin please just listen I-"  
  
"Keep away!" Gavin, for the first time in his 16 years of life, let his anger take over. He stepped forward and drove his knee into Ryan's crotch. "Sucks shit when someone doesn't wanna listen, huh?!" Ryan groaned and fell to the ground, shaking with pain. Then one of the seven guys from the team ran up to Gavin and pulled him away from Ryan, who was being helped up by two of the others.  
  
"Get outta here, scrawny British shit!" The guy snapped. "You're lucky we gotta game coming up otherwise I'd beat your ass to a pulp!"  
  
"You're welcome to try it." Gavin gave the bigger boy a sardonic smile and turned to walk away.   
  
When Gavin got back inside the building, Ray was in the doorway waiting for him, he'd seen everything from where he stood. "Jesus Christ, Gavin. What's you knee him in the dick for?"  
  
"The prick doesn't love me anymore, you heard what he said! Then out there it was worse, he didn't care to listen to me...he just wanted to get to bloody American football practice." Gavin began to shake, fighting back tears. He was tired of crying because of Ryan, he had many of times during the 3 months they didn't talk.   
  
"Oh Gav...Ryan's a popular jock on the varsity football team. I mean, he has a reputation to uphold."  
  
"A reputation more important than I. Well he hasn't got to worry about me anymore." Ray hugged Gavin and they walked to the other side of the school where Joel's truck was parked.

* * *

 **Once** all of the guys left the locker room, Ryan pulled out his phone and made a conference call with all of his friends, except Gavin of course.  
  
"Hello?" Geoff said first.  
  
"Guys! I've fucked up."  
  
Geoff groaned in relief. "Did you tell Gavin you're not ready to promise finally?"  
  
"Wait!" Jack said. "So that was all a lie in study hall?"  
  
"But Gavin said you'd agreed to it." Barbara said confused.  
  
"Dammit Ryan quit fucking with Gavin before I have to try and murder your ass again! And I'm not playin'." Ryan could tell by Michael's tone he was not.  
  
"It's not about that. In theatre class Gavin, Joel, Ray and I had to do a improvised skit. Long story short Gavin kissed me in front of the class during it, and afterwards people thought we may have been dating. Aaaand Gavin tried to tell people we were...but I told them we weren't before he could say." Ryan was out of breath by the end of his explanation, he was speaking so fast.  
  
"I don't understand you two." Monty said with a serious voice, a voice that didn't fit his typical self. "You seem so close and so fond of each other, and yet you have such a problem, these terrible fights. I thought you liked him."  
  
"I fucking LOVE him, Monty!" Ryan corrected annoyed.  
  
Jack scoffed in disbelieve "Then why did you lie about dating him?"   
  
"Okay let me fucking explain something to you assholes." Ryan wiped the sweat off of his reddening face. "Do you know where we live? Texas! You can't tell me you don't know about the homosexual situation here."  
  
"That homophobic schmucks are common here?" Michael asked sarcastically.  
  
"Yes. And you all have seen what gay and lesbian students have gone through here. The constant bullying, pointing, laughing, punching, beating up..." Ryan paused to catch his breath. "Remember a few years ago that boy committed suicide because he and his boyfriend were bullied so much?!" Ryan began to sniffle. "This school has some fucked up people, guys, some real fucked up people." The group grew quiet, an aura of sadness was felt between everyone, and it was very prominent.  
  
"We know Ryan, it's not fair. It's terrible what fuckers will do here because they don't like the way someone is." Geoff tried to be comforting. "So that's why-?"  
  
"Yes." Ryan interrupted. "There's no telling what people would do to Gavin if they knew he was dating me, he's so small. Not that he's weak b-but he's just ONE person. And a sensitive one at that. He's so good natured and innocent and..." The young man breathed deeply. "I just don't wanna imagine how he'd handle so much torment."  
  
"But what about Joel and I? We have no problems, it's not always that way."  
  
"Ray." Michael said softly, sadness laced his voice. "How long did it take for things to be that way? Remember how many times Joel had to pull some shitheads off of you when they tried to pick a fight? Remember.. remember the graffiti on you guys' lockers? The threats and the red neck kid with the pocket kni-?"  
  
"Alright alright alright." Jack intervened. "Enough we get the deal. Let's just calm it down. Ryan, we see you have a good reason to do what you did, but does Gavin know?"  
  
"No, that's why I've fucked up. I wish I woulda talked to him about this in the beginning, ya know? See how he feels about it, if he wanted to keep it secret or not. If I had this wouldn't have happened."  
  
"And if he doesn't?" Asked Geoff. "Then what?"  
  
"Then I would know if he needed protection or not."  
  
Barbara added. "What about YOU, Ryan? Of course we will all be here for you, but what happens when no one can be there for you two?"  
  
"Then I'll have to be a guardian to us both." It was silent for a moment, but to the group of friends it seemed like an hour. Finally, Miles broke the silence.  
  
"Where is Gavin now?  
  
"I took him home awhile ago," Joel answered quickly. "Ryan he's not in a good state of mind right now, he's very upset. You need to go to him as soon as you're able to."  
  
"Got it. I'll talked to you all later, bye." He hung up the phone before listening for their responses. He went to put on his gear then ran out to the field.

* * *

 **The** door to Gavin's bedroom creaked open and his mother stuck her head in. "Gavin? I know something is wrong, please talk to me...please I'm your mum." She looked sadly at her son lying on his bed with his back turned to her. She walked over to sit on the edge of it and stroke his hair. She noticed he was clutching a blue teddy bear wearing a black shirt to his chest, and the song on his iPod5 was 'Every Time We Touch'.  
  
"That's a lovely little teddy you've got there."  
  
"His name's Fog Goggler."  
  
She screwed up her face in disgust. "Nice...name. Now would you like to tell me what's the matter?"  
  
Gavin remained silent for a long time, but when he realized his mother wasn't leaving he sighed and began to speak, never leaving his curled up position. "There's someone from school."  
  
"Oh? It's nice you've met a nice girl."  
  
"A lovely and wonderful person who I liked. But later on I realized I loved this person. Call it crazy, but I believe I'm old enough to know love when I see it, like infinite admiration for someone. Someone who warms your heart in a special way..."  
  
"Gavin you're a bright and gifted young man, I know that you know what you feel. I have no doubt about that. But we haven't been here that long, are you positive it's love?"  
  
"I thought our love would last for so long, but now I think it's history." He ignored his mom's question.   
  
"Why do you think that, darling? Did something happen with this young lady?"  
  
"I gave the person a promise ring, because we'd been talking about a wedding and marriage ya know. They always told me they loved me and they seemed happy about the plan." Gavin sighed and paused for a moment. "We've been dating a few weeks now, but we had feelings for each other for longer. A simple attraction that grew into a love. Even after a big misunderstanding we made up."  
  
Mrs. Free decided not to ask what the misunderstanding was about, since it'd passed. And she wanted to ask him why on earth he'd go out and buy a ring for a girl he barely knew, but she didn't. "It seems that you two have a strong connection, what ever happened to it?"  
  
"Today I kissed them in front of the class so people caught on we were dating. And I go to confirm it, they interrupted and lie saying we bloody aren't! They cared more for a reputation than me!"  
  
"Gavin..."  
  
"They're ashamed of me, and I see the love's gone. I wonder if my love was even returned. I wanna think that it was because we've done so much together and been through quite a lot in only a short time. They'd become my best friend and I was almost always next to them, and we both seemed to like it. But then part of me thinks that's foolish and that they never loved me." The lad sniffled.  
  
Gavin's mom stayed silent for a moment, taking in the information before something struck her. "It's Ryan isn't it?"  
  
"Oh it hurts, mum." Gavin began to cry. "It hurts so bad."  
  
"Come here, Gavin." She pulled her son into a big hug and stroked his head as he sobbed. She whispered comforting things into the boy's ear and used her other hand to rub his back.  
  
"I just don't understand, mum. I don't know why it ended like this. There's a part of me that thinks...that maybe I scared him away with the promise ring. I'd been so love struck all this time, I'm such a stupid mong! I didn't see that I'd been rushing things, way too fast. He's probably disgusted by me."  
  
"Dear it'll be okay. It will be okay...teens years are always hard. So many crushes and romances, it will hurt for only a short while. Remember darling, it always gets better, you meet new people. New romances come a long and you build a new love and forget the old ones. Don't be sad, Gavin. While Ryan is out being happy with his football friends you have just as much right to be happy." The downstairs phone began to ring and Mrs. Free reluctantly left her son to answer it.  
  
"Hallo?" She said.  
  
"Hello this is the main office for Achievement High, is a guardian of a Mr. Gavin Free in the home right now?"  
  
"This is his mother speaking now."  
  
"Mrs. Free, I must inform you that your son, Gavin, physically harmed another student."  
  
"Are you sure? MY Gavin? That doesn't sound like him, who was it?"  
  
"The coach of the football team has told us that the victim was a Ryan Haywood, a member of the team. Gavin delivered an awful blow...'below the belt'." The woman from the office said.  
  
Mrs. Free sighed as her doubt went away. She knew Gavin was a good natured and passive child, but as upset as the boy was now she didn't put this act pass him. "What does this mean, then?"  
  
"Gavin is suspended for 7 days and, we're sorry. You may come up to retrieve something in his locker but he isn't to be on school grounds during this 7 day period, lest the suspension be lengthened." After a few 'yes's and a goodbye later, Mrs. Free called the boy downstairs.  
  
"Yea, mum?"  
  
"Why did you have to kick the boy, and of all places there? This is disappointing, Gav, you're better than that."  
  
"I know. Sorry mum, I wasn't thinking right...am I in trouble now?" He rubbed the back of his head.  
  
"With the school yes. 7 days suspension starting today. At home, no. I understand there's been a lot of trouble for you already. We keep this between us and if your father or George asks, it was some random kid picking on you, okay?"  
  
Gavin ran up to his mom and hugged her, the looked down to smile at her. "Thank you mum, you're the best. I love you."  
  
She looked up to meet her son's smile. "Don't be so mushy." She laughed and pulled him in for another hug. "I love you too."

* * *

 **"Hey,"** Ryan turned around to face one of his teammates running through the parking lot towards him. "enjoy the food?"  
  
"Uh, yeah, Thanks." Ryan smiled.  
  
"Then why're you leavin' so soon, man?! We still have a party at Josh's house to go to. They're be drinks."  
  
Ryan tried to be a polite as he could. "You know I don't drink. I just need to get home, our game is tomorrow and we need our rest."   
  
"Fine," the guy patted him on the back. "drive save, have a good night bro."  
  
"Thank you, you too." Ryan then got into his car and drove on.  
  
  
Once at home he walked up the stairs slowly, drained and sad. He hadn't even bothered to greet his family in the living room, and so they knew something was wrong. Ryan when into his room and leaned against the side of his massive bookshelf. He sunk to the ground and brought his knees up to his chest with his back pressed firmly to the shelf. Ryan's father entered the room slowly, barely able to see his son from this angle, most of him was covered by the shelf which stood on the same wall as the door.  
  
"Ry? Ry, what's up buddy? I can tell something wrong."  
  
"Practiced sucked today." The gent lied. "That's all, just need to calm down."  
  
"First off, you've never been like this because of football. Also you're sad not angry." When Ryan didn't respond he stepped closer. "What happened today, bud? You can't just bottle these things in." He walked to the left so he could get a better angle on Ryan, but he dared not go closer, he knew Ryan hated being touched when he was upset. He saw the young man balancing something on too of his knees, it was a plush pig toy.  
  
"Nice pig. Looks like one of the ones on pa and mama's farm."  
  
"'s name's Prince Oinkens the Third." Ryan mumbled.  
  
"See Ryan, I can really see you're sadness now. Don't hide this, you know what Dr. Simeon said. It's better if you tell someone."  
  
"There's a person from school I know." Ryan said suddenly.  
  
"A cute girl? What happened with her?"  
  
"This person is absolutely crazy for me, and...so am I. I love them so much. I've only known them for 7 months now, but the chemistry was just always there. Physical attraction grew to extreme fondness, then it grew into simple romance and next came love. Don't tell me I'm too young for it because I know that's what it is."  
  
"No, bud don't doubt that." He replied. "But how do you know for sure you love her."  
  
"We had a problem in the past that caused us to stop talking, but the moment I confessed my feelings they admitted their's too. Although I always knew they were there. Before we were even together they'd blush when I came near, or got nervous. Then as we got to know each other we would go out and they asked me to kiss them. And I did without hesitating. I've done a lot for this person, made it my goal to make them happy. And they'd do the same."  
  
"Then what's the problem? You two seem really smitten."  
  
"Today for a skit in theatre class they kissed me in front of the class, so people questioned if we were dating. They tried to tell people we were because we are...or were I dunno." Ryan breathed in to catch his breath. "But before they could say it I quickly interrupted and lied, saying we aren't. I know it sounds bad but I've good reason."  
  
"What reason?"  
  
"There're just circumstances...where if people knew we were together they'd be in a lot of trouble, and I don't want that for them, especially not because of me."   
  
"Well does she understand this?"  
  
"...n-no." Ryan began to tremble. "I had to go to practice so I told them we'd talk later. Christ they were so mad...kicked me below the belt because of it. But I don't blame them. I was terrible to them. I have been in the last before as well, they must think I hate them. And I don't know how I'll convinced them that I do really love them." Ryan began to weep softly, hating himself for letting his emotions win him over. "I raised my fist at them today."  
  
Mr. Haywood's eyes widen. "Ryan, you never hit lady."  
  
"I didn't hit anyone!" He replied with a broken voice. "I stopped myself, but the look of fear, heartbreak, and hurt just crushed my soul. I've done so much with this person, we were attached to the hip once...until I ruined it."  
  
Ryan's dad stayed silent for a moment, his heart sinking at the sight of his crying soon. He thought about everything he'd just heard, and put all the pieces together. "Is it Gavin, Ryan?"  
  
"I screwed up so much, Dad." Ryan screwed his eyes shut and began to shake with sobs, he clutched Prince Oinkens tighter. "Why am I like this? Gavin hates me so much now."  
  
"Ryan..." He broke the rules and sat down to hold his son. "I think, it won't be easy. I wish I could say something else but it just isn't so simple. But if you try hard enough he'll forgive you, you have to have hope in him and trust he still has feelings for you."  
  
"I don't want to be this way anymore, dad." He sobbed. "I'm so tired of bringing pain to people and then barely remembering it. I'm such a freak."  
  
"I don't want to say it...but maybe you need to start seeing Dr. Simeon again. And more often. Your mother and I were hoping this would be a phase and pass."  
  
"A phase that's lasted nearly my _whole life_?!"  
  
"I know, I know that was foolish to think. But we're gonna get some assistance for you...and we'll finally beat this. Okay Ryan?"  
  
Ryan nodded his head with it still pressed into his father's shoulder. "I'm ready to change."


	14. I'll Go Up With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin decides it's only right of him to go to Ryan and set things straight, but to see him he must first overcome an impossible obstacle...well almost impossible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't specify what it is, or else I'll spoil the chapter. But this chapter is pretty sad and has some things the weak of heart may not find suitable. You should be fine, but I felt it was something worth warning about...
> 
> I was so freaking excited while writing this chapter there's no telling how many typos are in it right now. But later I'll (probably) go back and fix them.
> 
> In honor of over 1000 views on this story, I'm putting up this chapter the same day as the last one!

**And** so from that point onward, Ryan started to see a therapist every Thursday. He would drive up to Dr. Simeon's office and a standard routine would follow suit. The psychotherapist would have Ryan write down any 'occurrences' he'd have, although they were rare, and right down what he was feeling at the time. And then he and the gent would study them and see what all of the occurrences have in common. They'd dissect the problems and see what would be the best thing to do about them. But before all of this would be the typical questions that were asked every once in awhile, questions whose answer likely would change.  
  
 _"Any family history of mental illness?"_  
  
 _"No."_  
  
 _"Having any domestic troubles?"_  
  
 _"Nuh uh."_  
  
 _"How're things with your friends? No arguments?"_  
  
 _"Nothing major or serious." Then there were the questions asked on a more regular basis._  
  
 _"Found any new hobbies?"_  
  
 _"No sir."_  
  
 _"Have you considered medication yet?"_  
  
 _"Absolutely not." Ryan would always answer. He didn't want to feel like a total nutcase. Ryan felt that if he could not beat this without the help of pills then he had already lost. "I...I don't need that."_  
  
 _"Ryan, the strongest people in the world may need help from medication. No one is perfect. It isn't like them alone will make everything as well as you'd like."_  
  
 _"They don't? They don't just fix people?"_  
  
 _"Of course not." He gave a warm smile. "The user must put in effort as well, their decisions and bravery to fight make a much more prominent difference than anything. But there is never anything wrong with a little help...sometimes for things to be 100% right again-"_  
  
 _"I understand." Ryan interrupted. "Thank you sir."_  
  
 _"So tell me about this latest incident you wrote down for me. You say you almost punched your boyfriend?"_  
  
 _Ryan groaned at the memory. "Do we have to talk about this one?" The look Dr. Simeon have him said 'yes'. "Fine. My boyfriend Gavin is the most important being in this world to me. That's why I'm always willing to protect him and ensure his well being, even if it means lying. Which I did. But it turned out I hurt him more than helped."_  
  
 _"What did you try to help him with, Ryan?"_  
  
 _"I didn't want everyone to know we were dating just yet, I planned on just slowly letting more and more people know so it spread evenly. Not just BOOM one day everyone in the school knows." The doctor shook his head. "Because I've seen what happens to people there when they do it like that. Instantly ever homophobe in the darn school pounces on them. The ones who aren't forced to transfer because the bullying or attempted suicide or whatever reason still go through hell to be accepted."_  
  
 _"How horrible...I can't say I approve of the people at your school."_  
  
 _"Neither do I, there are awful people in that place."_  
  
 _"But you seem to be popular there and have many friends from things you've told me."_  
  
 _"Oh yeah," Ryan replied. "being on the football team does that, but that crowd, the preps and jocks and cheerleaders...only one of them is really my friend. My heart lies with my real friends. The ones who I can play video games with and argue about the latest technology with. I can do anything with them really, they're the best. Oh! But I digress. If people found out my boyfriend Gavin and I were dating they'd torment him. He's such a gentle, kind, and sensitive soul, I don't think he could take too much of it. I don't want him to take any of it! So I lied to some people right in front of him saying we weren't dating."_  
  
 _"That's a noble and admirable decision to make in that situation, you must truly care for Gavin to have such good intentions in store for him."_  
  
 _"I do. But he doesn't know they were good intentions. Our friends have told me he think I've lost my feelings for him, but I've told them to hold off on explaining to him, because I want to be the one to explain. I haven't seen him for days because he got suspended for...kicking me. He was very angry with me at the time."_  
  
 _"Is that when you raised your fist at Gavin?"_  
  
 _"No, before that. I'd just gotten so angry at him. He was yelling at me with people near by because I didn't want to explain myself at the moment, because you see I had football practice. But he just didn't stop and, god I just felt embarrassment, anger, guilt...and I didn't like how he was being so...so like..."_  
  
 _"Assertive?" Simeon raised an eyebrow._  
  
 _"Yes!" Ryan perked up. "I just never coped well with being bossed around or thing I was the one in a low position."_  
  
 _"I think we've found your trigger. Thank you for your story, I think we've blazed a trail for recovery." Ryan and the doctor smiled at each other._    
  
Ryan recalled the memories of some of his first sessions with Dr. Simeon after so long. Then he looked down at the little oval pills in his hands. He tried to recall the words of his father and the doctor. He used every ounce of will power to believe that Gavin would forgive him and continue to love him. He wasn't ready to give up on the Brit. He sighed and downed the white pills with a glass of water.

* * *

 **"Micool!** I'm glad you've come by, Gavin hasn't left the house in 9 days since his...suspension. He could use a friend."  
  
"Hey, Mrs. Free. I just wanted to tell Gavin some things, about Ryan."  
  
"Oh," her smiled faded. "I just wanted to know, Micool. Is it true that Ryan has lost his feelings in my son? It's been eating Gavin alive because he can't seem to figure out what happened. I hate to dwell on teenager's affairs, but I can't help but wonder."  
  
"Ryan's always had feelings for him, he never shuts up about him or stops trying to please him. It's just big misunderstandings and mistakes made. Gavin told you what Ryan did, right?"   
  
"Yes, he has."  
  
"The reason Ryan did that was to protect Gavin. Our school is full of homophobic schmucks, if they knew the two of them were dating." Michael exhaled deeply. "Ryan's on the football team and the most popular kids in school THINK he's their friend. And you know how huge the guy is, even the kids capable of messing with him have too much respect for him to do it. Gavin however, as lovable as he is, isn't Ryan. And less people would hesitate to pick on him, they do horrible things to homosexual children at that school, Mrs. Free."  
  
"Oh my..." She placed a hand on her chest and closed her eyes. "so Ryan was looking out for Gavin, but..."  
  
As though he'd read her mind. "...but the circumstances didn't allow for proper explaining. Yeah."  
  
"So Ryan wasn't scared away by that promise ring Gavin got him? Most people at that age may find it a bit strange..."  
  
"Not scared away, but he's not lookin' to commit to anything deeper than what they have now at the moment. His main argument is that they're simply too young to be practically engaged, regardless of how much they love each other."  
  
She shook her head in understanding. "I see, thank you Micool. I feel much better about that. Gav's up in his room."  
  
"Thank you, Mrs. Free." Michael made the journey to Gavin's room and knocked on the door, waiting a moment before hearing Gavin shout 'c'mon in Micool!' and entering the room and closing the door behind him.  
  
"Hi, Micool." Gavin grinned at the New Jersey boy and ran up to hug him.  
  
"Hey Gavvy, you playin' Halo?"  
  
"Yes. Would you like to join me, Micool."  
  
"Yes." They made little squealing noises and grinned stupidly at each other before sitting down on the floor and picking up their controllers.  
  
  
5 hours later Gavin abruptly changed the subject, pausing the game and setting the controller down. "So I heard you talking to my mum downstairs when you first came. I was waiting for you to tell me what it was about but I suppose I'll have to ask."  
  
"Oh yeah...I did sort of want to tell you something. I was told not to talk to you about this, buuut I never really promised so fuck it."  
  
"Well don't just go blabbing on, you mong." Gavin scooted towards him. "What is it?"  
  
" _'Wot is it, Micool?!'_ " Michael teased with his signature British accent and caused Gavin to laughed. "Anyway...it's about Ryan."  
  
"Oh." Gavin's eyes went from eager to sad and cast down his head. "What about him?"  
  
"About what happened after your guys' drama class, that was because...well." Michael tried to find away to build up a good explanation, but when he was unable to he cursed under his breathe and just blurted it out. "That was to protect you, not because he was ashamed or lost his feelings for you."   
  
"T-that makes no sense. What other reason is there?"  
  
"I know you haven't been here in America that long, and you're probably not that used to how some of us are, especially at our school. There are more really homophobic bitches there than you'd think, and they treat homosexual students like shit. Top school with shitty people, just horrible scum. And Ryan was scared if people just suddenly found out about you two, that you would be tormented and picked on. He didn't want that for you."  
  
"I...I didn't know that. Are you sure Micool?"  
  
"Gavin yes." He replied slightly annoyed. "He won't shut the fuck up about you. He's always worried about you, wishing your dumb ass was at school. It's only been 9 days for Christ's sake and he acts like like he's in hell. It's hurting him so badly because he thinks he's fucked up and that you hate him."  
  
"Oh... but I don't, Micool!" Gavin exclaimed. "You know I still love him right?! And the others? Do people really think that...does _RYAN_ truly believe I hate him?"  
  
"I can't sugar coat this, Gavin...none of us knew what to think at first. But none of us were willing to believe you truly hated him, you'd always been infatuated with the bastard. Ryan however thinks otherwise. He's trying to hold on, to believe you still love him. But he's been having his doubts too. He feels like this is the second time he's caused you pain."  
  
"Pain?! Okay the first thing 4 months ago wasn't that major, just a misunderstanding with unnecessary reactions. What happened more recently...yes I was hurt. But it's not something he should be beating himself up about! Just because of ME." _'Yes...because of me'..._ The Brit thought. He felt sadness and guilt for worrying the gent, but he also felt joy that said gent cared for his feelings so much. He felt joy because the gent wanted so badly for him to be happy.  
  
"Ryan has...ugh I'll sound like a dick for saying this. But you should know now." Michael said softly. He looked at Gavin with a look of urgency. "Ryan has been, for as long as I've known him, mentally unstable. And I've known him 9 years. Of course the guy is a kind people and usually he's really collected, he's got a heart of gold."  
  
"I knew he had a bad temper...but, is it deeper than that Micool?" Gavin didn't want to believe Michael, he wanted to believe his boyfriend was a normal person with an average bad temper. But he knew better and listened.  
  
"Much deeper." He nodded. "I don't know what it is, but I remember his and my parents talking about it many years ago when they thought Ryan and I were outside. His parents spoke of him being diagnosed with...EID or some shit?"  
  
"IED probably. Intermittent explosive disorder."  
  
"Yeah maybe, I dunno. But I remember his parents saying they refused to believe it, because Ryan rarely loses his cool, and that's true. But I remember a few times where his reaction to something was _waaaay_ too much for the event. Like 8 years ago he pushed a kid onto the ground and jumped up and down on his arm until the bones shattered because the kid tried to take his lunchbox."  
  
"Ooh." Gavin hissed as he flinched, his face screwing up in disgust.   
  
"Yeah." Michael chuckled. "Then one time when I was in fifth grade, and he was in sixth we had to be in groups of four for a project. This one kid is picked as our team leader, which Ryan is fine with until the little fucker started bossing us around. It wasn't anything really bad, but apparently it was to Ryan because guess what? He breaks the kid's nose, beats him up, then took the teacher's scissors because they're sharper than ours, and stabs him in the stomach."  
  
"Oh!" Gavin squawked with a look or horror. "Did he live?"  
  
"Yeah, he was fine." He replied more nonchalantly than Gavin would've liked. "Oh Jesus Christ as an 8th grader, this fucker...He breaks this kid's legs, BOTH if them just because he stole Ryan's lunch money. Then his freshman year he beat a kid so badly he had to go to the ICU at the hospital, his parents never mentioned why though. Not while I was listening at least."  
  
"I had no idea." Gavin partially fibbed. He recalled the story of the boy when Ryan was a freshman. "Poor Ryan...Heaven knows he doesn't want to be that way. A good young man tainted with a bad illness."  
  
"Yeah, well, maybe his parents should've realized no one is fucking perfect and just let him get some help. Because he needs it _bad_."  
  
"Micool!"  
  
"Sorry! But god damn, Gav, you can't deny that. It's a miracle he didn't do anything to you when" He paused to think of what he was saying a look of guilt flashed on his face. "...yeah."  
  
"I guess he stopped himself because he loved me, I'm so happy now. So who else among our friends knows about...this?"  
  
"I would assume no one, I only know because I was either there or heard it from his parents. I doubt he's told anyone."  
  
"Yeah, probably not." Gavin nodded. "I need to go to him Micool, I need to show him that I still hold this love for him." He put a hand across his chest. "What time is it? Can you take me to his house?"  
  
"It's..." He looked at his watch. "fuck 10:30. Sure I'll take your ass there but I'll just wait out in this car for you. Because of..." He rubbed the back of his head nervously.  
  
"Really? Didn't your two's parents agree it was all fine, that thing four month ago?"  
  
"Yeah but...it still feels awkw- aw fuck, okay I'll come in too."  
  
"Thanks, Micool." The two lads got into Michael's truck and drove to Ryan's house.

* * *

 **As** Michael pulled up to the house, they noticed Ryan's family coming out of the front door. The two lads came out from the car and started towards them to ask if Ryan was still home. As they came closer they saw Ryan's sister and mother were crying, his father trying to comfort them. When his mom saw the two boys approaching she walking towards them, looking like she might faint.  
  
"Michael? Gavin?" Her voice was raspy and came out shaking.  
  
Gavin came towards her. "Yes, what's the matter, Mrs. Haywood."   
  
"Has...has something happened?" Michael asked.  
  
"Oh, i-it's Ryan. He...oh my baby!" She began to cry loudly, trembling in her husband's arms.  
  
"Oh dear. Guys," His eyes were filled with despair and utter sadness. "Ryan was...he was driving." He tried to remain calm as he spoke, breathing heavily. "His car. Something happened, something went wrong and- I'm afraid Ryan's in the hospital now. The one on Fallcreek. Please, follow us there. He'd wanna see you guys." Then the three Haywoods turned and started back towards their car.  
  
Michael had to practically drag Gavin to his cars as he was frozen in shock. He didn't want to think that Ryan was in danger. He had so many questions, such as 'why','how','is he living'. Along the way Michael called Gavin's house to tell them what'd happened, and that Gavin would need them there for support. Michael gave them the address of the Fallcreek Hospital and hung up. Then he called his own parents and did the same. He looked over at Gavin who was being eerily stagnant and silent in his seat. Even when Michael pushed him lightly he simply whipped back into his position and stared forward, not saying a word. Michael cursed under his breath as he continued to drive.  
  
  
When they arrived Gavin and Michael followed behind Ryan's family running up to the receptionist's desk and asking where Ryan's was. Gavin treated the answer 'Room 213' like a gun starting off a race and sprinted through the hospital. Down several halls, up to the second floor and down several more. He looked down one hall and saw he and Michael's family clustered around a room with doctors flying in and out. He ran up to them and fell into his mom's embrace.  
  
"They aren't letting anyone see him now. Say he's in critical condition." She stroked her soon's cheek. Gavin's blank look still remained on his face, never changing.  
  
"That's my baby!! How cruel! You can't keep me away from my child!"  
  
"Mrs. Haywood, I'm sorry but hospital rules. He's in no condition for visitors right now, we're doing our best but..." The doctor clad in green took hold of her shoulders. "This is never easy to say, but there's no euphemism around it...Ryan's condition is very unstable. He's lost an immense amount of blood and suffered significant damaged to vital organs. We can not guarantee these injuries won't be fatal." Ryan's mom began to sob even harder and collapsed into her father's arms, with her daughter hugging her from the back also crying. Gavin just stood looking through the door with no indication of feelings on his tan face. Through the flashes of white and green scrubs he caught a few glimpses of the injured Ryan. From what he could see of Ryan, which was only a bad angle of his face, the gent was very bloody and scraped up. It broke Gavin's heart to see his boyfriend's nose and mouth filled with tubes but still his face did not change. A doctor from inside closed the door and now only shouting and beeps could be heard from inside. The three families huddled together outside of the door, hugging one another and comforting each other. The three families had grown so close over time, even if the Free's had only joined 8 months ago. An hour passed before one of the doctors exited the room and shut the door behind him. The families on the floor got up instantly and looked to the man for answers, like moths to a flame.  
  
"Well?!" Michael shouted, his voice tainted with anger and worry. The doctor looked every single one of them, before shaking his head and turning to Ryan's family with a look of genuine sympathy.  
  
"We managed to get his organs at a stable state." He swallowed a lump in his throat. "Ryan was a fighter, but the blood loss was just too much. I'm so sorry."  
  
"No!!" Ryan's sister shrieked. "No, you must be wrong. Please..." She looked to the doctor with a small flame of hope in her heart, but the look the doctor gave her quickly extinguished it. "No...why? Ryan... oh brother, _please_!" She began to cry. Father came to pulled her arms already occupied by her sobbing mother. 

Gavin's face finally showed emotion. Knifes of despair, misery, hurt, and self-reproach pierced his heart mercilessly, and warm heavy tears began to pour down his face and on to the floor. He tried to make a run for room 213 but his father held him back. He flailed his legs and tried to wiggle away with all his strength, but then fell limp in his father's arms and began to sob hysterically, harder than anyone else there.

"I couldn't be there for him. We had a fight and I said and did some nasty things...if only I'd known what'd happen. Oh Ryan! I'm so sorry, I'm sorry! I didn't hate you, NEVER, there was only love!" He shouted at the door, as though Ryan could hear him on the other side."You must have spent your final moments thinking I'd lost my love for you. Oh please come back Ryan, don't leave us! Please come back!" The boy was speaking between bouts of sobbing and cries at this point. "You must hate me now, right?! I wish I could just hold you and kiss you again, and tell you how much I love you, as many times as I can but now...Oh Ryan." Everyone at this point was crying and holding someone. The boy's words cut deep into everyone, deeper than any sword. Michael cursed up a storm in spite of people passing by staring at him, punching the air blindly as his sight was hindered with tears. "No, I can-" Gavin panted as if being suffocated. "I _can't!"_  Gavin finally got away from his father and ran away, sprinting down the hall. All anyone could do was look on in confusion, their common sense pushed away by grief. On his way out of the hospital he stumbled into a nearby empty room and picked up a sharp pair of scissors and resumed his journey out of the doors.

He ran out into the hospital parking lot and collapsed onto his knees, his body was pelted relentlessly by the rain. In his ruined state of mind he took the scissors and began to slash harshly at his arms, long lacerations formed on his skinny arms and soon blood had soaked through much of his shirt. "I must have caused you so much pain in your final moments, it must have hurt so bad, Ryan. If I could only feel your pain." He continued to hack mercilessly at his arms.  He looked up at the sky, holding his arms out in an eagle like way as though he were sacrificing himself to the gods. 

"Oh, Ryan." He cried above the sound of thunder. "I'm so sorry, love. I know I should have been better to you, I should have went to you and kissed you and held you and told you it was alright. I should have told you I could never hold hate for you. You must have passed on thinking I detest you, but it's you who should despise me. I was such a stupid fucking  _knob! "_  He stared at the shiny pair of scissors in his hand, watching his blood wash away with the rain. "I can't live without you, love. Life is unnecessary now. Maybe if..."He said with clouded green eyes. "Maybe if I drive this through my chest we'll be together again, Ryan. And then I can tell you how much I love you. Forever! Right, love?! Isn't that right, Ryan?!" He grinned up at the sky with a demented smile, his eyes wide and twitching. He held the sharp tool away from him and aimed the point at his heart. Just as he closed his eyes and whispered 'This is for you, Ry-Bread', the three families came out of the building and ran towards him screaming.

"Fuck! Gavin you moron!" Michael tackled him to the ground before the blade met the Brit's chest. "What the hell did you think you were about to do?!" Michael and Gavin were on there knees now, ignoring the muddy ground below them. Michael took hold of Gavin's shoulders and tried to shake him into his wits. "Gavin! WHAT are you fucking doing?!" 

The Brit threw back his head and let out a deranged cackle, then snapped it back up to look into the bespectacled boy's brown eyes. "It's too late for me Michael, I have to go see Ryan. I have to go tell I'm sorry and hold him and kiss him and tell him I love him." He smiled at the New Jerseyan and ripped out of his grasp, attempting to stab him with the scissors. "And if you stand in my way, lil' Micool, I'll have to bring you up to see Ryan as well."

"Gavin." Michael said, trying to calm him down. His brown eyes had something in them. Fear, concern, confusion. "You aren't feeling good right now. Just drop them and we'll go get your arms patched up, okay?" He looked with a grimace at his friend's sliced up arms.

"I warned you." Gavin charged at the boy raising the pointed tool above his head. He was stopped my his father and held tight against his chest. After minutes of struggled he went limp in defeat and howled in anger.

"R-Ryan..." He muttered before fainting.

* * *

_**Rest in peace, James Ryan Haywood** _

_**1996-2014** _

_**Never forget** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry lovely readers...that's all I can say. Sorry.


	15. The Stuff in My Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin tries coping, how quickly that failed...

**It** could only be described as a floating sensation as suddenly Gavin woke up and peered through his dark room. The lad's eye shot open he looked around trying to make out features of the bedroom. But all that was visible was blackness. He looked down and even his bed was engulfed in it, it was liking inside a ball of dark. He got up from his bed and carefully walked forward with his hands stretched out in front of him, feeling around him for something...anything. He did finally start to feel his desk and then his computer, and he sighed in relief that he really was at home and not at that hospital he'd fainted at.

"Gavin." 

He spun around gasping at the sudden voice, and before him stood a indiscernible black figure. He fell down in surprise more than fear and started to back away from it. 

"Gaaaaviiin." The voice was bellowing and echoed through his room, but it was peaceful and somewhat comforting.

"W-wot are you?! Please... s-stay back and I won't call the police." The figure came closer to grab Gavin and yanked him forward, causing him to squeal. Gavin then felt two strong arms wrap around him and a broad chest pressed against his cheek, but he did nothing in his state of fearful astonishment. "What the..."

"What're you so scared of, Gav?" The shadow chuckled. "Don't be a pussy." Gavin turned his head to look at the chest and found that the black abyss was replaced with white cotton fabric. He looked up into two bright blue eyes and darkish blonde wavy hair. The two arms around him were very toned, pale, and very smooth. "Gosh you're such a scaredy brit."

"R-ryan?!" His eyes widen in disbelieve. "B-but it can't be...how're you here? And in such good health, too?!"

Ryan placed a finger up to Gavin's lips to hush him. "Let's not worry about the hard to explain things, shall we not? What I want to know is..." He poked the Brit's gargantuan nose playfully. "why are you so upset?'

Gavin pulled the gent back into a hug. "I-I thought you were  _dead,_ Ryan! Jeeeesus, don't worry me like that you silly donut."  _  
_

Ryan giggled at the young boy and gave him a loving kiss on his soft lips before pulling away, and before Gavin's eyes began to glow and then slowly fade from his sight. "I love you, Gavin. You've made life such a delight for me, and don't you ever think otherwise..."

"R-ryan! No! Come back, love!" Gavin reached for the disappearing Ryan but as his hand was about to make contact he vanished, leaving behind a cloud of beautiful sparkling dust falling to the carpet, and the glow dispelled.

* * *

  **Gavin** sat up in bed with a snap, panting and looking around his darkened room, a sliver of his being expected to see Ryan standing there laughing. A small sliver of him that hoped to god that Ryan was playing some cruel prank on him, but his logic slapped that idea away. He knew that wouldn't happen.  Michael woke up suddenly, jerked out of his deep slumber with a jump. Holding a hand to his chest he looked over at his friend with worry. Deep concern that made him fear for his mental well being. Only a few hours in and he seemed to be losing it. He was glad he spent the night to watch other him, he needed someone with him. He pulled Gavin into his lap and hugged him. "Gav..."

  
"Hey, Micool?"   
  
"Yeah, Gavin?"  
  
"Ryan was right lovely, huh?" Michael held the Brit closer. "He spent all that time with us, he made us laugh with his weird mannerisms and fake violent streaks. Whether it was games or real life...he- he always had us smiling. And then he could instantly become the voice of reason. He was a big brother figure to us.  
  
"Yeah..." Michael whispered. "Never was a dull moment."

"And he really told that fib to protect me...didn't he, Micool?"

Michael nodded. "He absolutely cherished you, Gavin."  
  
"But we can't have that anymore... Oh Micool why did he have to leave us? It hurts so bad without him. I just..." Gavin began to tremble slighty. Michael simply rocked the sad boy back and forth in his lap. "M-Micool?"  
  
"Yes, Gavin?"  
  
"If Ryan would have known I loved him, if he'd been happy while he was driving that night..."  
  
Michael choked back a sob. "No please don't say this, Gavin. Don't you fuckin' say it."   
  
"No, Micool I get it now! If he hadn't been distraught he would've been more focused on the road, not on whether I still loved him or not. If I hadn't of had him worried, he would have been paying attention. But he couldn't concentrate because he was so upset...and it's my fault. I made him crash. It's my fault he's not with us."  
  
"You know that's not true, Gavin."  
  
"What did the dream mean, Micool? What's he trying to say?" He ignored the New Jerseyan's reply. "Maybe...maybe the dream was a way to torment me with fond memories of him, torment I deserve. I couldn't be there for him, Micool. I wasn't there to hold and kiss him, hug him and assure him I love him, and so he drove thinking I held hatred for him." Gavin paused. "I can't fathom how bloody sad he must have felt...I can never apologize for causing him that pain, and it's killing me inside!" Michael's heart sank to his toes, he couldn't bare to see his best friend so broken, at the bottom. As hard as he tried he couldn't hold back the awful feeling.  
  
"Dammit, Gavin. I miss him too, GOD dammit. I fuckin know it...Ryan was a great human being. And he loved you with no doubt." And the two lads clung to each other mourning, until they fell asleep in each other's arms. From the other rooms in the upstairs, had the two boys still been awake, they may have heard Gavin's mom, dad, and brother weeping silently to themselves. They hated to see their precious Gavin like this, so shattered and diseased with despair. Never had they seen him this depressed, so grief stricken, tonight they'd seen him mourn a death in such a way they never had before.  
  
  
 **The** two woke up to Mrs. Free opening the door and waking them up. "Good morning boys...I just wanted to let you guys know... you probably shouldn't go to school today." She paused and looked directly at Michael. "I've called your mum, Micool. She said she'd rather you not go to school today, to rest and settle down."  
  
"No." Gavin said. "With all due respect, Mum. I can't begin to heal if I grief for too long without doing anything else. I have to just keep living my life and never fall, or depression will win." Mrs. Free opened her mouth to protest, but then quickly shut it and simply nodded in agreement. She bid them farewell being closing the door and setting out for work.  
  
"Are you sure you're ready? Already Gavin?" Michael took hold of one of his small shoulders and looked into his eyes. "Because there is nothing wrong with taking a little break."  
  
"Don't treat me like a victim, Micool. I'm not some weakling, it'll be fine. The road to coping with this will be rougher if I don't start today. Now let's get ready for school." Michael got up slowly, looking at the Brit with worry, but he stopped opposing him and reluctantly got ready with him.

* * *

 **"Hello** Gavin." Miles smiled weakly at the Brit as he sat his tray down, but any fool could see the distress written on his face. "How...how're things going?"  
  
Gavin looked around the table at this friends with red rimmed eyes. Kerry, Micheal, Lindsay, Miles, Jack, Geoff, and Barbara...they all had concerned looks on their faces as they waited for his answer. They all looked at him with fearful eyes, hoping he would be honest with them. "Yes. Jesus Lorenzo guys," he gave them a fake and pathetic smile. "I was just telling Micool this morning to not treat me like some weakling. Don't start it too."  
  
"Gavin don't push yourself, it's okay if you're not. Really." Barbara leaned over to touch his shoulder, earning her a puzzled look from him. "Because none of us are okay...there's no way you are. It takes time."  
  
Geoff gave Barbara a nod of agreement. "She's right, Gav...we aren't trying to baby you. But it's okay to talk to someone about this, you can't just hold it in." His blue eyes looked at Gavin intently. "We'll all deal with this together, okay?"  
  
"Just bloody stop it guys, I'm fine. Let me eat my lunch in peace, yea?" And peaceful it was. No one spoke during lunch after that. Not even the funniest members of the group(and they were all funny in some way) were willing to try and do something to break the silence and make everyone happy. That way Ryan's job on these type of situations. He could say the simplest thing in the simplest most nonchalant way, and a roar of laughter would follow. But that didn't happen anymore. Towards the end of lunch a few tall jocks with varsity jackets and slicked back hair came up to the table and pulled Gavin out of his chair.   
  
"Hey!" Geoff shouted. He and Michael got out of their chairs and walked towards them. "What do you fuckers think you're doing?"  
  
"Shut the fuck up, Ramsey." One spat. "This doesn't concern you, it's about this little British shit here."  
  
"Leave him alone right now er I'll break your fucking nose." Michael snarled. He advanced towards the guy but Geoff held him back, giving him a look that said 'wait'. Michael nodded and pulled out of the gents grasp.  
  
"Ryan has been skipping practices here and there since the day YOU kicked him in his dick," one of the jocks began. "is that your fault, ya little piece of shit. Is it your fault Ryan's gone?!" 'Ryan's gone' echoed through Gavin's head. He stood there staring dumbly at the boy in front of him, not moving or speaking. "Well?! Why is Ryan not here?!"  
  
 _'Ryan not here'...'Ryan not here'..._ The words bombarded her eyes relentlessly. Barbara sprung out of her chair starting to cry, the mention of Ryan's name was too much. "I-I just can't." She then ran out of the cafeteria, Lindsay and Miles trying to catch up to her.  
  
Although nobody else knew about Ryan yet, the broken part of Gavin thought 'Now others are blaming me as well, they know.' At that moment a part of Gavin that was still intact snapped. "Y-yes...it's my fault." He lowered his head and stood, waiting for shouting and insults he knew would be thrown at him.  
  
"Little bitch." He growled. "Knew I shoulda beat your ass out there the first time." He raised his fist to punch Gavin and delivered a nasty blow to the side of his jaw. Gavin grasped the cheek in his hands and stumbled back. Another boy came up to him and was about to elbow him, but Geoff came up and tackled the boy to the ground. Michael spun the other jock around to face him and sent a hard fist straight to his nose. The boy fell to his knees howling in pain as other students came to see what'd happened. Michael and Geoff ran over to Gavin who was now standing with his head down, fists clenched and shaking.  
  
"Shit." Geoff hissed. "We're so sorry, Gav. We weren't expecting that to happen, if we'd known that was coming we would've reacted faster. How's your cheek feel, do you need the nurse?"  
  
Gavin shook his head violently, his hair whipping at the two young men. The rest of their friends came over to see Gavin, to make sure he wasn't hurt bad. "That's not why I'm upset. I'm sad because...well he's fucking _RIGHT_. It is my fault."  
  
"Gavin...you know that's not possible or true." Kerry tried hard to convinced him. "You weren't there."  
  
"I didn't HAVE to be, dammit. He was sadden by the incident and he thought I didn't love him and that I was angry with him. He was so distracted by that and that's why his car crashed." He was talking so fast the others could barely understand him.  
  
"He loved you so much, he could only have good thought about YOU. That's not why...I highly doubt that'd be why."  
  
"That's not true." As he sat on the ground he, Michael, Geoff, and two of the jocks were shouted at to get up off the ground by the school's safety officer.   
  
"Alright boys, with me." The officer beckoned the trio to follow him towards the office. Geoff and Michael were swearing in annoyance at the officer, while Gavin just sniffled and wiped his nose occasionally. After explaining themselves the principal gave everyone but Gavin suspension. Gavin was sent home for other reasons. The office didn't seem to know of Ryan's passing, instead they sent Gavin home because they figured he'd just had a rough encounter with the group of dumb jocks.

* * *

 **While** at home Gavin spent most of his time lying in bed clutching Fog Goggler. The bear had the scent of Ryan's car on it, which gave the Brit good and bad feelings. Gavin would have short bouts of crying and then some time of being silent. Then he'd start to weep again. George had come in several times to try and comfort his brother, but it always failed. Gavin had a knife on his bedside table that he always kept. He would stare at it intently every once in a while, then look at the long scabbing scars along his arms. He would wonder if he should add on to the collection and how many. Or if he should let himself bleed out, that's what happened to Ryan...

He held the knife to his wrist and held it there as he searched his mind, asking himself questions like  _"Will I bleed out quick enough, before someone finds me and tries to save me?", "Would this death be horrid enough to avenge him?", "Why'd it have to bloody end like this?" , "Is there a better way I could off myself?", "Would Ryan forgive me if I come see him in the afterlife?"_ The most foolish question he asked, in his eyes, was  _"Is there anything left here I need to live for?"._ Nothing came to his grief stricken mind, he concluded that there wasn't. He began to dig the blade into his wrist, but before the cut was even deep enough to bring about blood his phone came to life with beeping.

"What the bloody..?" He picked up the glowing phone from his nightstand and looked at the screen, it was reminder. It read,  **"7 months ago I found the stuff to my love <33". **

 

"Oh...right." He'd set his calender to notify him of certain events, today was the seven month anniversary of him seeing Ryan for the first time. "I set it to remind me earlier today, but it's only doing it just now...why?" He looked at the phone and shrugged, then he tossed it to the floor. "What the hell's it matter? I won't be living soon enough anyway." He said with a low voice. He placed the knife back into it's place at his wrist getting ready but he was interrupted once again. For less than a second a fragment of a memory popped into his mind, but it was so vivid and so sudden, it struck him hard like a bat to the skull. The memory was of Ryan. It was back at the airport and Ryan was smiling at him, holding his large hand out to shake.

"Why's my mind bothering me now with these memories? But I guess if I don't give a piss about living anymore, a few thoughts don't matter either." He let out a lunatic chuckle.

But these thoughts kept coming, and they progressively got longer. The next memory was of him clinging to Ryan's back in gym class, and then running along side him. Then it turned into the memory of when they'd caught each other naked, it was so clear Gavin could almost smell that locker room now. Gavin was a bit annoyed by this, because he wasn't trying to recall anything. He was thinking of nothing! Nevertheless the reminiscence never stopped. "Fucking stop Gavin you twit!" He shouted at himself as he tried to block out the memories. His mind then forced him to recall a time Jack had found the lock to his closet and discovered a secret stash of trophies he'd made himself from times he'd won a bet. He recalled his embarrassment and how much his friend teased him for it, except Ryan who told him it was neat idea. Next up was a time he'd came into class with a bushel of bananas because he was...well, Gavin Free. He tossed a bunch of them onto Ryan's desk which enticed the gent into chasing him all the way out of the school, Gavin even remembered the feeling of the bananas being thrown at him.

Gavin held his head and thrashed about as though to shake the memories out of his brain. "No..." he said weakly. "surely this means nothing. No way in hell he's not mad at me. I was so horrible to him." A memory of them in the courtyard at lunch eating cake sprung up. "He can't forgive me after what I've done to him." His voice began to shake. "Ryan...there's no pardoning the hurt I've put you through. You...you must hate me, right? You have to!" These thoughts wouldn't let up, they became more vivid and bright, like an HD tv embedded in his brain. "Why is this happening, Ryan?" Memories of them at the carnival popped up, Gavin saw it all in his mind. The roundabout, the food, the stupid games, Ryan handing him Fog Goggler, he saw EVERYTHING! He almost felt the warm wet kissed from him on his tan cheeks. He begged his mind to stop the memories, as though it were a person who could actual respond to his pleas and just switch his brain off, but when the beautiful memories of his fallen lover wouldn't cease he broke down even more than he already was and he whimpered silently to himself. He couldn't even shed tears, he'd ran out of those.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry, Ryan." Gavin croaked. "Ryan...I love you. I wish I could see you smile again, hear you laugh again. If only for one more day, I want to hug you and kiss you again, so badly." He flung the knife against his wall and laid stomach down on his bed, letting his words soak his pillow. "I need to hear your voice again, Ryan. I need to have you near me, at least once more! Let me have my Ryan back...please! Life is empty and dark without you, living's become so painful."

 Gavin's eyelids became extremely heavy. As they began to close, through his tears, he saw his father enter the room. But he didn't care. He closed his bloodshot eyes and fell into deep slumber.


	16. Leeeeeet's Reunite!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short, I know. But that's because it's completely dedicated to one thing and one thing only.

_**BUMP**  _when Gavin's head against the wall as he woke up. His eyes shot open wide, darting around trying to decipher his location. There were rectangular lights on the ceiling, the floors and walls a pure white. It seemed very surreal as he gazed down a long corridor slightly crowded by stretchers and wheelchairs. Gavin looked down and noticed for the first time since he'd awaken that he was sitting in a chair. Still drowsy he got up from the chair and looked around for signs of people. Upon standing a woman clad in blue scrubs approached him squinting, as if trying to observe small details about him.

"Are you...Gavin Free by any chance?"

"Um, yes. Yeah that's me."

"Good, you're awake." She smiled at him. Gavin felt very uncomfortable now. Why had he waken up in a hospital with people who knew his names, yet he didn't know them. "Your family's in the lobby downstairs waiting, but there's something you have to do right quick. If you'd just follow me." She signaled for him come with her to a room a little ways from where they were. She opened the door and motioned towards the room smiling. Once inside Gavin saw someone lying motionlessly in the bed. The honey curls, those cheek bones, and the scars. He stepped back out of the room in horror, giving the woman a look of disgust and confusion. "What?"

"What is this...oh." Gavin noticed something about the room for the first time that made his heart pound nearly out of his small chest. "Is that heart monitor on?"

The nurse gave him a quizzical look. "Uhh yeah, most people are worried when it  _isn't_ on." Gavin was about to ask her why when he heard a voice call out to him from inside the room. The voice was weak, but deep and familiar nonetheless. 

Gavin looked into the room, and now the being lying in the bed was looking back. He had gorgeous blue eyes laced with tiredness. "Hi Gavin." A faint smile stretched across his face, and he tried to hold his shaking hand out to the brit.

The nurse smiled at Gavin before gently pushing him inside of the room and closing the door. "He woke up a  Gavin half expected to see the young man fade away if he tried to come closer, so he stayed away.

"Gavin?" He slowly got out of the bed, groaning with pain as his arm quickly jerked to hold his side. Then he grabbed on to the IV stand attached to his arm to support him as he walked towards the lad, but was stopped short by a few feet. The tubs inside his nose were attached to a stagnant machine next to his bed, yet he reached his hand out for Gavin to take. Gavin looked at the hand hesitantly for moment before inhaling and grabbing it. 

"Ryan, it's really you, love." Gavin, for the second time in a while, didn't have the means to cry. Not that he wanted to at this point. He stepped forward and embraced the gent, burying his face into the broad chest. He stood like this for a long time, just taking in the smell and feel of his boyfriend before looking up into his ocean blue eyes. "This isn't another dream."

"You dreamed of me?"

"Yes. Last night I dreamed you came into my room and hugged me and kissed me, then you said, 'I love you Gavin, you've made life such a delight for me, and don't you ever think otherwise.' and then when I tried to touch you vanished, that's when I woke up."

"And you were scared if you touched me now this would end up being a dream?" Gavin could only nod in response. "Well I'm happy to inform you that this is reality, Gavin."

Gavin looked at the gent with sad eyes. "Please forgive me, Ryan." He said out of the blue.

A few things popped into Ryan's head. "Forgive for what?" For kicking him in the crotch? Saying sod off to him? Or maybe ignoring his calls in texts? 

The lad stepped a few feet away from Ryan and looked down in shame. "It's my fault you crashed." 

"What?! Gavin I crashed because of my own reckless decisions, why do you think it's your fault?"

"Because I wouldn't listen to you when you tried to explain about the thing after theatre class awhile back. You didn't explain when I wanted you to, and so I was a selfish git and did those terrible things to you. I must have hurt you physically and mentally, and made you think I hated you."

Now it was Ryan's turn to look guilty, he rubbed the back of his head nervously while he answered. "Well, yeah a kick to the penis hurts like hell. And I must admit I was pretty hurt when you would gave me the cold shoulder all that time." Ryan thought that was a bit funny. It'd only been about ten days he didn't talk to Gavin after their argument, yet it felt like many painful years. "I did indeed think you hated me, and that I would have to earn back your love."

"Exactly! So then it's my fault." Gavin's head shot up, surprising Ryan. "If you wouldn't have been so distraught about me, you would've been more focused on the road and you wouldn-"

"Gavin...shh shh shh, calm down for a moment. I am always thinking of you and all but, that isn't why I crashed, I assure you. There's a farm adjacent to the road I was driving on and a cow had escaped I guess, because the fucker was on the road. And...you know how I am." Gavin almost wanted to chuckle at that, he did know. "I couldn't bare to hit the thing, so I swerved out of it's way and my car ends up rolling down the side of the road. The last thing I remember from that was hitting a tree."

"Oh...you're not lying to me are you?"

Ryan scoffed. "No, Gav. And tell me." He said as his finger gently glided over Gavin's shredded arms. "What happened to you?"

"Hmm..uh." Gavin jerked his arms away and put them behind his back. He gave Ryan a pleading look, begging the gent to not ask. And then he looked down at his feet shamefully like a child who'd just got caught.

"You did it didn't you?" It felt like a cyclone had hit Ryan's stomach all of a sudden. He felt weak and quickly maneuvered to sit on the edge of his bed. "Gavin, why would you? How could you?" Gavin pulled at the collar of his polo nervously. He saw Ryan's eyes widen in concern and wonder. "I know, I was acting like a deranged knob. I wasn't in my right mind then, and so I thought if I caused myself pain, and then off myself it would avenge you. That was when I thought I'd caused your accident and I deserved to die. I know...it's right pathetic."

He choked back a sob as he asked. "Did you stop to consider the outcome of such a selfish act?!"

"Don't yell at me, Ryan! I'm bloody sorry, I feel awful knowing that I was willing to leave people behind like that. Trust me I  _do_ regret it, very much so." Gavin snapped at him. "But I was just so...so broken without you, Ry-bread. I didn't think I could make it. When you were here, and I thought you had passed on...and those days I was suspended from school? They were hell on earth, Ryan." Gavin came closer. "Not hearing your deep lovely voice, not feeling your strong arms wrap around my waist, and not feeling you next to me. It seemed impossible to live without, going on everyday like everything was okay hurt so much."

"C'mere." Gavin stood between Ryan's open legs facing him, reach up to caress his scratch riddled face. Even with the scars it still looked flawless. "I'm a hypocrite, Gavin. When my car was tumbling down that slope, I accepted death. I was begging it to take me that night, because I figured life would be too hard to live without you in it. I never tried to fight to survive, I felt...almost glad I'd suffered such bad injuries."

"I love you so much, Ryan. You have no idea... I could never hate you, you sausage. Those days when I thought you'd lied because you were ashamed of me er something... my world crumbed more and more everyday. I thought- thought you didn't love me anymore."

Ryan sighed. "I never stopped loving you, Gavin. I just, well I'm sure someone's told you by now, but I'll say it myself. You know our school's full of homophobic people, right?" Ryan paused to find the right way to explain, and they quickly came to him. When Gavin nodded in reply he continued. "I've seen and heard of atrocious things being down to gay or lesbian students there, and I-I just couldn't bare to see that happen to you. I didn't want us to come out as a couple so suddenly, try to have the word spread as slowly as possible. Because even under the rare circumstances a same-sex couple  _is_ accepted, takes a LOT of time before then. So..."

Gavin put his finger to the gent's lips and smiled sweetly at him. "I know, Ryan. And I'm so happy you had my best interests in mind, you're so good to me." Ryan nodded in return, grateful for Gavin's understanding and the satisfying feeling of relief.

"I guess we're both freaks, huh?" Ryan asked out of the blue.

"Yeah.." Gavin chuckled at Ryan and himself. "Team Love n' Stuff is just a couple of monged up dudes who fell head over heels for each other, who would rather croak then lose the other. Jesus Lorenzo...Ryan?"

"Sup?"

"For the past ten days we were in our darkest moments, as low in despair as we've ever been."

Ryan shrugged. "Yeah..."

"And now look at us, we're talking about it in such a lighthearted way. So nonchalantly as though we were reminiscing about old times."

"That's correct, but...I don't feel sadness right now. Do you?"

"Actually, no." Gavin replied with surprise in his voice, then he giggled and smiled at his boyfriend. "No, I don't feel sadness afterall! I'm...I'm relieved, and I'm happy as hell. Like a huge burden just suddenly left me. Oh god, Ryan, I'm so damn toppers right now!"

Ryan laughed and put a hand to his heart. "Same here, Gavin. My heart's feeling pretty fucking content right now. I'm happier than I've ever been in awhile...hell maybe ever! I mean, call me a heartless bastard, but I don't feel sad about anything that's happened between us anymore, I feel safe in saying our problems shouldn't be a bother to us now." Ryan cursed the millions of things connecting his body to machines within the room, if he were well he could be prancing and skipping in joy.

"What's wrong with the two of us? We were just depressed, then you nearly die, then I try to go to the grave with you, and-and now we're talking about it so causally! And it feels okay! We've got some problems, haven't we?"

Ryan gently placed his hands on Gavin's shoulder and looked deep into his green eyes. "The only fucking problem I have is I haven't kissed you in a billion years." He smirked flirtatiously at the Brit.

"You little smegpot." Gavin jabbed his chest playfully. Leave it to Ryan to make a clever or funny comment that changes the tone of a situation. "That's not what I meant." But still, he decided to fix their problem. He leaned in and planted a kiss on Ryan's lips. He held it there for a moment before pulling back and searching for Ryan's reaction. Across Ryan face grew the biggest and most brilliant grin Gavin had ever seen on him, it warmed the coldest corners of his heart. It patched up the shattered pieces, and reintroduced the stuff to his love. "Better?"

"Mhmm." Ryan grunted at the pain in his abdomen as he scooted to lay down in the bed again. "Now go get me some food will ya, babe?"

Gavin rolled his eyes at the comment, but grinned back nonetheless. "Free Birds' burrito?" Ryan gave a thumbs up and pretended to go to sleep, his big smile being the only thing giving him away. As Gavin turned to leave the room, he noticed that the room was adorned with balloons, streamers, treats, and flowers. He read the tags on them and smiled warmly at every single one, for all of his friends had come to see Ryan today, there was even a large vase of flowers and candy from his family. He looked up at a banner hung above the door, a look of content on his face as he read the banner's lovely message:

**_"Welcome Back, Ryan! We love you"_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO many unanswered questions, SO much mindblowness, MUCH confusion. DO wonder. WOW.
> 
> What in the fresh hecks just happened?!!! 
> 
> Did you ask yourself that after reading this? If so, then stayed tuned for the next chapter to find those answers, and more.


	17. Leap From Death and King Geoff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Boys..." Geoff picked up a small box from behind his couch. "I would like to introduce you to King Geoff." 
> 
> "What's King Geoff, Geoff?" Jack asked with sarcastic curiosity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got a new chapter out. I've been working so much on summer assignments and different works I just sorta lose time to do other stuff.:/

The sun shined so brightly that day and yet the air was so cool, this was the kind of day that ideal for walking through parks. That's why Ryan had come to pick up Gavin in the early afternoon, when the weather would be at it's best.   
  
"I like your hair." Ryan had said from the driver's seat. "I know ponytails aren't your thing but you just look so damn cute in them, especially when you have some hair out in the front to frame your face."  
  
Gavin cupped his cheeks in his hands and looked at his feet. "Aw shucks, Ryan. It sounds like your buttering me up."  
  
"What? No, no, I'm just voicing my opinion. Does it...bother you that I think your gorgeous? Because guys can be gorgeous." He stuck his finger in the air like a gentleman as he stated this.  
  
"I actually think it's lovely of you to say. It's just you're being strange today, more kind than you usually are. Why's that?"  
  
"You'll see." Ryan chuckled as he pulled into the park's parking lot. He climbed out of the car and walked over to the other side to help Gavin out, but he'd already let himself out. He sighed as the Brit giggled, he'd do that occasionally because he knew Ryan didn't like it.   
  
The two walked side by side for the most part but Ryan was slightly farther back. He liked how, although Gavin wasn't drastically much shorter than he was, he could look down and see him from a good angle.  
  
"You've got a cute butt." Ryan said abruptly.  
  
Gavin rolled his eyes and looked back at the gent with a quizzical smile. "Isn't it you, Ryan, who has always said I've got no arse?"  
  
He shrugged. "Well, yeah. But that was before just now. Maybe it's these skinny jeans you like never wear."  
  
"Well, cheers. But surely you didn't bring me here just to tell me you like my arse, because I already know that much."  
  
"Oh yeah, right. I did want to talk to you about somethings. I wanted us to go the rest of the school year worry free and happy. But since it's midsummer now I want to get some things off of my chest...even if it's like three months later" Ryan took the lad's hand and escorted him to a bench and they sat down.  
  
Gavin furrowed his eyebrows in confusion before answering. "Alright...what'd you wanna say?"  
  
"First off," Ryan said looking at the ground. "I want to get the not quite as happy things out, so they won't be your freshest memory of today. Thank you."  
  
Gavin gave him a puzzled look. "Thank you for what?"  
  
"You've saved my life, more than you know right now. But I'll explain." Gavin just nodded and sat back as he listened to Ryan's explanation. "I've already told you I have minor problems with my mental health, and as embarrassing as it is to admit, they're not that minor. I've hurt some people throughout my life, Gavin."  
  
"I know." Gavin interrupted.  
  
"You know? But you can't."  
  
"Yeah, Micool told me. He once heard your guys' parents talking about the kids you got into it with throughout your school years, every detail, no euphemisms."  
  
Ryan chewed on his jaw as he thought of something to say. "Oh...then I suppose you know how they feel about it?"  
  
"Yes and it's wrong!" Ryan suddenly turned to Gavin with a surprised look. "With all due respect they should know very well it's not bugger all with you, I'm sorry to sound so rude but...but you need 'assistance' and they should get you it. Instead of thinking it's a phase that'll pass."  
  
"Yes I know, and for the longest time I didn't oppose that, even when I knew they were wrong I didn't care enough. How I was...I felt horrible and guilty, still I had no reason to change that I deemed worthy." Ryan took hold of Gavin's hand and smiled heartily at him. "But I found a new reason called Gavin. I told my dad something needs to be done, after that day we fought, and he agreed. Then I told my mom and now I go to see a therapist. And also... I started taking medication so, you know."  
  
"Oh Ryan, you strong beautiful thing, you." Gavin cooed before placing a kiss on Ryan's smooth cheek. "That's nothing to be ashamed of, it's people like you who know and accept that they aren't perfect who are the bravest, and have the courage to work to fix it." Ryan thanked the Brit before sighing and returning his eyes to the ground. "Is that all? You still seem bothered by something."  
  
"There's more, yeah." Ryan took inhaled deeply and breathed out as though he were bracing himself. Then he turned to sit facing Gavin so their eyes met. "I also wanted to thank you for helping me live. The last recollection of...the accident I have is lying in the hospital bed, and then the beeping of a heart monitor become one continuous noise. Next thing I remember I wake up in an all black tunnel except for a white light at one end of it."  
  
"I see, so what happened in there?"  
  
"You'll think I'm madder than I truly am." Ryan chuckled weakly. "But...the I guess 'floor' of the tunnel was not there but it was, if that makes sense. Like walking on glass, and through that glass I saw my stagnant body lying in the bed, I looked awful. Doctors were removing their masks and giving each other sad looks and shaking their heads, all the while that heart monitor was making just one sound. I walked down the tunnel towards the light and my view changed to my family crying and holding each other, you and Michael's families were there too." Ryan's voice became more melancholy and slightly shaky. "It was so scary Gav, the closer I walked to the light the more people I saw grieving, and the heavier this feeling of...giving up became. I tried to walk in the opposite position, but it was so hard, like trudging through quicksand. But when I finally got past the view of you all in the hospital that night, I started to see us together. Through the glass 'floor' I saw us outside of the school arguing, and then I saw us in theatre class. The farther I walked this way the more difficult it was to lift my legs and move forward, literally took hours to move only a short distance."  
  
Gavin started at the gent dumbfounded. "Wow..." Was all he could whisper.  
  
"But the memories kept on. I saw myself at football games, and then one of me brushing my sister's hair, I saw myself watching cheesy movies with my family and then one of the whole gang going out to eat, it was great to see again. Then I came to a view of us again. We were in your bedroom one day, the first time I told you I loved you." A big smile began to grow on his face. "And the feeling I got from watching that felt so good, and before I knew what I was doing I began to beg. I don't know to who- er what, I was alone in that tunnel. But I began to plead to be let out of the tunnel and back down so I could have more great times like those..."  
  
Gavin had to speak to get the his attention back. "What happened after that, Ry?"  
  
"The next thing I remember from my 'physical world' body was a nurse looking at me with wide eyes and a big smile, but I couldn't move and I was in pain. She went to get more nurses and doctors and one of them called my family, and told them I'd moved a finger and opened my eyes."  
  
Gavin looked with confusion at the unceremonious end. "That's extraordinary, wow. Can't even fathom what that must have been like, truly a marvel. But what's that got to do with me?"  
  
Ryan scoffed in disbelieve. "It was the memory of you that made me want to leave the tunnel and live, dumbass. My near death experience didn't turn out to be permanent death because of _YOU_."  
  
"Oh... I understand. I'm very glad it's turned out that way, Ryan. Really I am, for everyone's welfare. You have so many friends and family that love you and you make us all so happy."  
  
"Thank you, Gavin."  
  
"So..." He asked hesitantly. "was it bad? Of course death isn't good, but is it bad subject for you?"  
  
  
"Honestly? No, no it's not. I'm just so glad it's over with and past that I don't care about it anymore." Ryan hugged the Brit briefly before pulling back and standing up. "Welp!" His abrupt change in tone surprised Gavin for a moment, then he remembered this was Ryan. "Glad I've got that off of my chest, now let's go get some food, fucking starving."  
  
"You quick subject changing knob." Gavin said as he took Ryan's hand and walked to his car.  
  
  
Ten minutes into the drive they plans were cut short by a text Gavin received.  
  
Ray: You and Ryan get your bikes. My house. Now. No questions.  
  
Gavin: Why?  
  
Ray: What're you some kinda idiot didn't you read the text?  
  
Gavin: how'd you know I'm with Ry?  
  
Ray: Arent you always...?   
  
Gavin: We'll be there shortly.  
  
Gavin put his phone away and told Ryan about the text, when asked what the occasion was he shrugged. "He said no questions asked, he didn't specify what's up."  
  
"So do you even own a bike?" Ryan asked with doubt. "Like in America?"  
  
Gavin nodded. "Riding bikes is something George and I like to do in our spare time every once in a while, ya know? It's relaxing."  
  
Ryan shrugged "Eh." His voice showed he wasn't impressed.  
  
"What why do you not like riding bikes, Ryan?"  
  
"I did, Gavin...back when I was like 9 or 10, I still have it but it's too small for me now."  
  
"Awww," Gavin replied sarcastically. "Wanna ride on mine? It has a cool platform thing on the back of it you can sit on. It's hard to explain but I've sat on it and it's fine."  
  
"Yep, all 30 pounds of you sat on a little bike platform. Can't say I feel the same will happen for me." Ryan turned to Gavin and laughed as the Brit pouted. "But it's okay, I'll use my dad's." They pulled up in front of Gavin's house and kissed each other goodbye, promising to see the other at Ray's.

* * *

 

 **"Jesus** Christ." Michael grumbled as he pedaled away from Ray's house. "I haven't used this bike in six fucking years it hurts my ass!"  
  
"It doesn't have to Micool. Like with me, I noticed that if I position my left testicle just a little to the side of the saddle that it feels right comfy. Just find the right position for your arse."  
  
"S-saddle?!" Michael laughed. "Fucking moron, you mean a seat?"  
  
"It's a saddle!"  
  
"No one in the universe is going to agree with you, no one would call it a saddle but you. A saddle is what goes on a horse, Gavin."  
  
"A saddle is anything you sit on!"  
  
Michael gave him an annoyed look. "So a dick?"  
  
"Yeah hold just let me go jack off my saddle." Ryan chirped in, causing laughter from the other four. "So uh...what's the plan here?"  
  
Ray scoffed "We're riding bikes to Geoff's house, Ryan. Keep up with the times."  
  
"But whyyy?" Ryan drawled. "If we were 9 years old or not American perhaps this'd be normal. But I'm afraid it isn't."  
  
Jack chuckled heartily. "If we...weren't American? What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"Americans are lazy and shit. Ya know how every country has that one stereotype about it that defines that country? Like Germany has the lederhosen or Australia has the kangaroos? Well America's is we're all overweight and lazy."  
  
"Morbidly obese, Ryan." Gavin corrected. "Don't be offensive."  
  
"Sorry Gavin I didn't mean to hurt your feelings with my wrong terminology."  
  
"It's fine Ryan." Gavin turned his head to smile and the older boy pedaling next to him. Moments later he squawked as he suddenly felt his bike stop but his body keep moving. He'd crashed into the tree stump in the corner of Geoff's yard and fell onto the lawn, squeaking as he landed.   
  
"You okay, Gavvy?" Michael snickered. "Fucking klutz."  
  
"Oh yeah, I'm swell." He responded as Ryan pulled him up onto his feet and brushed off his clothes. "Ryaaaan I'm fine, love. I'm not hurt."  
  
Michael gagged in mock disgust. "God, Ryan. Let Gavin be a man and quit babying him. Jeez you murder his ass every five seconds in video games and nurture it in real life!"  
  
"And then you fuck it in bed OOOOHH." Everyone laughed at Ray's comment as he was then being chased around Geoff's front and back yard by Ryan. Michael, Jack, and Gavin were literally rolling on the ground as they laughed at their Puerto Rican friend. "Woo woo! The fuck train has no brakes!" He continued to imitate train noises as he ran from the laughing gent behind him. Ryan eventually gave up when Geoff came out of his house.  
  
"Dickweeds! You came after all. Now please, enter." Ryan reached for Gavin's hand as they walked towards the door but Michael stepped between them, looking up to smirk playfully at the older teen.   
  
The five boys settled down in to Geoff's living room, each taking their preferred spot. Ryan, Ray, and Jack sat on the sofa. Gavin sat on the love-seat and Michael sat in a big armchair.   
  
"I was told there would be bevs." Gavin announced to no one in particular. "Where are they?"  
  
Geoff snorted. "We have water, milk, and orange juice. You want that, bitch?"  
  
Gavin bounced in his seat whining. "I wanted grape juice, Geoff! People like grapes you can't keep forgetting that!"  
  
"Calm down Gavin. I didn't forget... I just don't care."  
  
"Drink some water, Gavin." Jack chirped. "It's good for your kidneys."  
  
"Then _you_ drink some water you big orange bearded prick."  
  
"I will if there's any left and your nose doesn't absorb it all."  
  
A big "OHHHHH" erupted from the boys, with an extra "Fuckin got 'uuum." From Michael.  
  
"Hey now guys we're all friends here." Ray held up his hands to calm them down. "Jack's beard shouldn't be talked about unless it's in a respectful way."   
  
"Jack can your beard drink water?" Everyone busted out laughing at Ryan's random question. "Is that respectful enough, Ray?"  
  
"Okaaay." Geoff said calming down. "I brought you guys here for a reason. I have a fucking great idea. We're going to play a game. Boys..." Geoff picked up a small box from behind his couch. "I would like to introduce you to King Geoff."   
  
Michael waved at the box. "Hi King Geoff."   
  
"What's King Geoff, Geoff?" Jack asked with sarcastic curiosity.  
  
"King Geoff is gonna be a sort of scavenger hunt. You guys know about our friendship, right? If you don't you're stupid and you'll lose and you suck dick, no offense Gavin, Ryan, Ray... you'll each receive a key to begin you journey, Michael please take the box and pass the keys around."  
  
"What're the keys for?" Ray asked as he received the box. "Will we be actually finding something to unlock?"  
  
Geoff's blue eyes lit up. "Glad you asked Ray. No you will not, but someone will."  
  
Jack quirked his eyebrows in confusion. "We aren't unlocking stuff but we are?"  
  
"Yes." Geoff answered. "You'll get a note from me which as a clue on it, they're all the same. Follow the clue to find the next clue as well as the object...or objects that'll lead you to the next clue. You can _not_ skip a clue, if you do you will not be able to progress through the hunt."  
  
Ryan raised his hand as if he were at school. "And uhhh...what's in it for us?"   
  
"My love and a cool prize. Now..." Geoff held up five slips of paper. "GOOOO!" The boys sprung up to get a piece and frantically read it.  
  
"Micool?" Team Nice Dynamite, Micool?"  
  
"Gavin...as much as I'd like to work with you because you're _mah boi_ , I'd much rather have a chance of actually winning so..." Michael's words trailed off as he ran out of the door.  
  
"By the way, fuckers!" Geoff yelled out the door at the guys. "You can only use your bike and walking to get to the clues. Winner is the first one to get the last object back here to me!"  
  
Gavin fumbled with the paper and struggled to read Geoff's handwriting. "Roses are red, violets are blue, it was here Ray took his first poo?" Gavin stared at the paper shaking his head. 'A rose garden?', 'A bathroom at Ray's house? I don't...'. The young Brit was lost, he wasn't sure where to start. He looked around the yard and found that everyone else had already left.  
  
"Better get goin', buddy." Geoff smirked at Gavin.  
  
"Sod it." Gavin stuck his tongue out at the gent. "Oh that's it! Thanks Geoff!" Gavin remembered the place where he and Ray's friendship became establish, all those months ago. He remembered he'd gone to a Puerto Rican cuisine restaurant with Geoff, Dan, and Ray. The next day they all had diarrhea for several days, and Ray would always joke that 'his people have betrayed him.'. And he remembered how Ray wouldn't shut his mouth about Gavin's weird vocabulary, that was the first time Ray had heard him say 'Sod it' and he bothered the brit about for a while. This was a popular story to tell among their friends. He's figured it out. He climbed onto his bike and headed for the restaurant.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do ya think? Do you understand Ryan's death now? :P

**Author's Note:**

> I love that so many people seem to enjoy this fanfic, and this ship.   
> Freewood is my favorite ship.:)  
> Comments are really appreciated and make me happy, like you've got no idea. So feel free to leave some.  
> This story may go one for as many chapters as I can make it, because it's such a beautiful story and ship that I'll be sad it's over.  
> Do you guys know the song 'Every Time we Touch' by Cascada? For me, that song is the Freewood theme song, I always think of it when I write about them.


End file.
